The Price of Devotion
by Marie Kenobi
Summary: The Episode 1 journal written by Obi Wan Kenobi that Scholastic never published. Updated October 17th, 2005.
1. Introduction

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Title: The Price of Devotion

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Author: Marie Kenobi  
_Rating_: PG – Same as the movie.  
_Spoilers_: Yes, to TPM and JA.  
_Disclaimer_: All recognizable Star Wars characters are the exclusive property of the almighty Jedi Master, George Lucas. I am not being paid for any of this. None of the books mentioned below belong to me. They are the property of Scholastic, Del Rey, and Dark Horse Comics.

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Author's Notes: In order to write this story, I pulled from many different resources. Some of those resources include: the TPM novel by Terry Brooks, the children's TPM chapter book by Patricia C. Wrede, the JA series by Jude Watson, the Obi-Wan Kenobi comic book by Dark Horse Comics, the SW Episode 1 Illustrated Screenplay by George Lucas, and of course, the movie itself.

Enjoy!

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I have studied the Jedi's way for over two decades. My destiny in life is to become a Jedi Knight, Guardian of Peace and Justice in the galaxy. I study diligently under my Master's tutelage.

One day we are chosen for a mission—a mission of utmost importance.

I know what must be done. It is a routine I know well. But there is more to this mission than meets the eye.

Justice _must_ prevail. Lives depend on it. The future depends on it.

My name is Obi-Wan Kenobi.

This is my story.

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****

Introduction

Peace over anger.

Honor over hate.

Strength over fear.

I recite these words with every breath I take.

Outside my window, speeders, air taxes, and other transports speed past me, cluttering the sky with their shiny hulls. Back on Naboo, the citizens continue to greet one another with a fervor that can stem from the end of only one tragedy: War. Naboo is safe, my mission was successful, but I am alone. The person I cared for the most is gone.

Although I am sure I will never forget, this is a mission that must be recorded. That way, not only will it be inscribed in my mind for the rest of my life, others will have the chance to learn what it was really like from someone who experienced it first-hand.

I left Naboo just a few short days ago. Now that I am home, it will be nothing more than an emerald pinprick in the ceiling of the Star Room in the Jedi Temple. I am not saddened to leave it behind. I would be happy to forget the small planet. But the sudden immensity of my living quarters reminds me of the bleak truth, and I know that a piece of me will always reside there—there on that lush, green planet. I have only to see its forest, swamps, cities, sky…and I will see his face. And I will feel the emptiness inside me again.

My name is Obi-Wan Kenobi.

I am a Jedi Knight.


	2. Entry I

**Entry I:**

**Short Negotiations**

* * *

I stood from the chair I had been sitting in and stretched my travel weary muscles. /Master/ 

/Yes Obi-Wan/

/Is it time/

/Yes. Come join me on the bridge./

My eyes twinkled I'm sure as I left the sleeping quarters my Master and I had been sharing. The thought of a mission always excited me.

As the Trade Federation's battle fleet filled the viewport before my eyes, however, my excitement rapidly vanished. This mission was a mystery.

"Are we to board?" I asked softly.

My Master gave a small nod. "The viceroy will meet with us."

I could feel his gaze linger on me while I strapped myself into the seat beside him. I suppressed the urge to roll my eyes. Qui-Gon was comparing me to the young boy I had been 12 years ago.

We didn't have time to reminisce.

Soon, though, I would be Knighted. This could very well be the last mission we performed together as Master and Apprentice.

It is not until now that I realize how correct I was.

By no means did I resent Qui-Gon's presence, but the wistful look I spied in his gaze every time our eyes met could make any apprentice wish they were already Knighted.

My Master was fearful of what would become of him once I passed my Trials. Although he would never admit it, I knew. I knew that he would give almost anything to go back to that time when I was 13, when I was 14, 15 and all the other years between then and now just to prevent the wrongs he had placed on me. Even if it only added a minute to our happy days together…and with a heart overflowing with loyalty and love for the man beside me, I realized I would do the same.

His words tore me from my thoughts.

"Why Naboo, do you think, my young apprentice?"

_I'm 25, Master. I'm not the young boy you still think I am…_

"Why blockade this particular planet, when there are so many to choose from, most larger and more likely to feel the effects of such an action?"

I responded with silence. Qui-Gon knew I had no idea. Just as he didn't.

Naboo's leader, Queen Amidala, was new to the throne, and young. Her dramatic and ornate way of presenting herself made her seem older than her 14 years. However, I had also learned that she was wise beyond her years. Handmaidens followed her every move. I absentmindedly wondered if she was like other teenage girls throughout the galaxy—boy crazy.

_This has nothing to do with the mission_, I reminded myself quickly. _This has nothing to do with _you_, Obi-Wan. Jedi have no time for love._

But she was one of the prettier damsels in distress that I had ever seen … 

"Come, let's be off."

I hadn't realized we had already landed, so caught up in my thoughts was I, and had to hurry to join my Master.

Everything except the purpose of our mission left me as soon as my booted feet touched the landing ramp. We pulled our hoods down further to better conceal our faces. They could not learn we were Jedi. Not yet. A protocol droid, who announced itself as TC-14, led us to an empty conference room.

"I hope your honored sirs will be most comfortable here. My master will be with you shortly," came the droid's mechanical voice. Then it turned and left, the doors shutting softly behind it.

No sooner had our hoods come down, than I expressed my sudden feeling of apprehension.

"I don't sense anything," Qui-Gon responded. He glanced briefly at me. I wondered what the hidden emotion in his eyes was. After all, how many times had I blurted out, "I have a bad feeling about this," at the beginning of an assignment, only to report back to the Temple less than a week later with the tale of a more-than-boring mission. This time, however, something was different.

"It's not about the mission, Master. It's something…elsewhere. Elusive…"

I stressed this last word and looked to see if anything registered across my Master's face. Nothing.

"Don't center on your anxieties, Obi-Wan. Keep your concentration here and now where it belongs."

"But Master Yoda said I should be mindful of the future."

A slight wave of annoyance rolled off my Master. I knew Qui-Gon must get tired of Master Yoda contradicting everything he told me.

"But not at the expense of the moment. Be mindful of the living Force, young Padawan."

There it was again. The _L_ word. The _living _Force. I struggled so hard everyday to comprehend it. Yet, for 12 long years it had still managed to elude me. Even when I had a Master whom practically thrived off of it. My talent was seeing into the future. Or at least that's what Master Yoda told me. I just had to learn to harness the power the small, green troll said was there.

"Yes Master," I replied, while scanning my surroundings. Step one while in a strange or new environment was to inspect every nook and cranny, even if it was only with one's eyes.

It could mean the difference between life and death.

Our walking led us to the room's viewport. We stared down at the beautiful, emerald planet called Naboo. Once again, I couldn't help but wonder, why Naboo? Was it because there had been no war on the peaceful planet for many generations?

I knew that Qui-Gon was asking himself the same questions from his place beside me.

"How do you think the viceroy will deal with the chancellor's demands?" I asked suddenly.

He gave his shoulders a slight shrug. He had known what I was going to ask even before I had the thought to. "These federation types are cowards. The negotiations will be short."

For my own sense of ease, I hoped so. The feeling of dread inside me was growing.

Qui-Gon and I remained standing at the viewport a moment longer, then took to doing what the droid had bid us do: get comfortable. It would be a long wait, I realized grimly.

* * *

Ten minutes passed and still we were alone. My patience was ebbing. 

The doors swished open and TC-14 shuffled in with a tray of refreshments. I slowly took a cup from the droid's tray, exaggerating my movements. "Is it in their nature to make us wait this long?"

I was beyond the hope of patience. I was annoyed, and unafraid to let the Federation's protocol droid know it. Most of the creatures we met with for negotiations nearly tripped over their own feet—however many they had—in an attempt to meet us on time and please the Jedi, hoping it would somehow reflect positively on them in the Senate.

Most of the creatures.

Qui-Gon mirrored my tone. "I sense an unusual amount of fear for something as trivial as this trade dispute."

It was a shame we had been sent a droid. At least we could gauge _some_ reaction from a Neimoidian.

I took another sip from my cup. I couldn't place the taste that dominated it. Then I realized with barely concealed distaste that it had the suggestion of insects floating around in its cool interior. I quickly set it down. If Qui-Gon had noticed it, he gave away no indication.

I was about to comment on its peculiar taste when an explosion shook the room. While TC-14 staggered to remain upright, Qui-Gon and I leapt from our chairs, simultaneously igniting our lightsabers. The droid dropped its tray.

/They've destroyed our ship./ Qui-Gon told me.

It was the only reasonable explanation I could think of. The pilot and copilot's deaths registered like a cold wind blowing across my mind.

The hissing noise reached my Master's acute ears before mine. He turned to me with a frown. "Dioxis."

We each took a deep breath…and waited.

It wasn't long before the room had been entirely suffused by the green light created by the gas. My eyes stung, I could see nothing. But it reminded me of my days as a Tempe initiate when I had sparred blindfolded. As long as the Force was my ally, I didn't need my eyes to see. Tahl had shown me that.

Soundlessly, I moved past the conference table and its chairs. My lightsaber was off now to conserve energy. We might need them to cut a hole in the door soon.

My mind suddenly became filled with a sense of warmth that could mean only one thing—Qui-Gon was near. He had joined me in my stand before the door, lightsaber also in hand, but not lit.

Suddenly the door hissed open, releasing the toxic gas into the hallway. My Force-heightened hearing detected the infamous clicking and whirring of a battle droid's interior compartments. I waited, anticipating the sensation of my Master's mind touching my own, giving me the OK to begin cutting our way through the objects that stood in our way. TC-14 stumbled past, apologizing to its fellow droids. Then I felt it, what I had been waiting for.

Two blades of intense energy, one green, the other blue, sprung to life. I could only ponder what went through the droids' 'heads'. They had no idea what it was like to go off against Jedi. Before we could step from our deadly prison, however, they began firing on us.

Qui-Gon and I sprang as one from the conference room, cutting and slashing with our weapons, deflecting the blaster bolts and sending them back to their unsuspecting owners. The fight was over as quickly as it had begun. I Force pushed the last three I was battling and hurried to cover Qui-Gon as he raced for the bridge.

The adrenaline rushed through my body just as surely as my lightsaber hummed its melodic tune in my hands. This was how it was supposed to be. Just me and my Master, side-by-side battling evil and righting wrongs.

The droids that remained in our way were torn down with one swipe from our deadly but elegant weapons. Qui-Gon rushed to the closed bridge door, cutting a circle into the gray structure with ease.

Meanwhile, I spun my 'saber in an arc, decapitating a single droid before lashing out backwards with my weapon to fry the droid's control panel. Panting, I turned my back to Qui-Gon, my only safe wall in the wide hallways, and watched intently for danger. Behind me came the slamming of more doors as I destroyed another lone droid.

The blast doors to the bridge joined in the futile effort to keep us out. It didn't matter anyway, I thought as I heard Qui-Gon stab the doors with his own weapon. His concentration for the matter at hand seeped along our training bond. I sent a wave of encouragement to him. He responded with a grunt. It may take longer than expected, but we would get through to the bridge.

It seems I spoke too soon. Two droidekas rolled out into the hall before me. I'd been taught about these particular droids at the Temple; they were nearly impossible to destroy with a lightsaber.

With a twirl of my weapon, I yelled, "Master! Destroyers!"

He was by my side in an instant. Together we fought off the first few bolts. Then Qui-Gon decided it would be best to leave.

It seemed we had worn out our welcome.

We sprinted at a Force-quickened run down the hallway to our left. My Master hurriedly crawled into a ventilation shaft. I followed, making it in just as the droidekas rounded the corner and opened fire again. I didn't like running from the enemy. Especially when they were droids; but I had a feeling the non-living machines could survive longer than even Qui-Gon and I when they had their own shield generators.

I followed Master Jinn through the dark shaft. Light finally began to shine ahead of us. As we drew closer, we discovered we'd made it to the hangar bay. Qui-Gon dropped to the ground some 50 odd feet below us. It was a drop that could kill anyone who wasn't a Jedi.

I quickly followed the older man. We hid behind two large cargo boxes and studied the many Federation vehicles before us. It wasn't pretty.

Qui-Gon spoke softly to avoid being heard. "Battle droids." Surprise was in his tone. Neither of us had expected such a bold move.

"It's an invasion army."  
"It's an odd play for the Trade Federation."

Odd indeed, I thought, recalling that everything I had learned about the Neimoidians suggested they were fearful and lazy creatures.

"We've got to warn the Naboo, and contact Chancellor Valorum. Let's split up. We'll stow aboard separate ships and meet down on the planet."

Despite the situation, a grin spread across my face. I cast a quick look at the rapidly growing army, then turned to Qui-Gon. "You were right about one thing, Master," I began, pausing for dramatic effect and watching his eyes light up with the knowledge that my dry sense of humor had concocted something. "The negotiations were short."

He smiled, briefly tugged on my braid, then turned and crept off to the nearest transport. I regressed in the opposite direction.

I bided my time, watching the droids constantly enter and leave the landing transport I had chosen to stow aboard. Its giant _H _shape was filled to the extremity with droids and weapons. One mistake could mean the difference between life and death. I couldn't fend off such a large number, even if I had Qui-Gon's help.

When I saw my chance, I sprang into action. I had just a few minutes to put myself in a hidden corner of the ship before it shook and its engines hummed to life.

* * *

Page breaks now inserted where needed. (6/22/05)


	3. Entry II

**Entry II:**

**A Thousand Terrible Things**

* * *

Once on the planet, I escaped from the ship by cutting a hole beneath myself with my lightsaber. Little did I know that there was a swamp directly where I would land. 

Although there should have been _something_ I could have done, my reaction was not quick enough. I fell into the swamp with a small splash, resurfacing a moment later. Breathing deeply, I disappeared under the water, reappearing closer to the shore. I tread water and looked around, casting out with the Force while staring briefly at the collection of droids forming before turning to the forest. A shadow deep in the woods caught my eye.

I could feel Qui-Gon searching for me through the Force as I swam the final distance to the shore and crawled out, dripping wet. My response to his calling would have been quick were it not for the charred lightsaber I held in my hand. I'd forgotten to disengage the blade before hitting the water. Again. It was a mistake I'd made before, during times when I was more brash than usual. My mistake was a careless one.

One a 25-year-old Padawan should not make.

I felt annoyance and frustration on Qui-Gon's end of our bond.

I could only imagine what he was feeling on mine. Unfortunately, this momentary distraction allowed me to be spotted by two droids on STAPs—not a good thing considering my current situation. With something resembling a growl, I tumbled, narrowly avoiding a blaster bolt aimed at my head. I was up and running again before the droids' processing units could convince them to fire again.

It would have been easy to dive back into the swamp with my A99 Aquatic Breather and wait. But the mechanical device could only hold out for two hours. Even if the droids did leave, and I doubted they would, the delay would hold Qui-Gon up and he may not reach the Queen in time. My Master would not leave until he knew I was safe. Sometimes I wondered if our loyalty to one another got in the way of our missions. Sometimes I wondered if we were too close. What would I do if I ever lost him?

Sadly, I think I know now…

Keeping my head bent, I yanked my comlink from my belt and began to home in on my Master. At least something of mine still worked—I'd been smart enough to buy a water-resistant comlink. I wasn't as despondent as some people thought.

_Don't get your hopes up, Oafy._

I nearly stumbled. Where had that come from! Even after all these years…Bruck Chun had scarred a part of my mind with an immensity that I would never be able to comprehend.

Movement ahead caught my attention.

With the droids still hot on my tail, I dodged, successfully missing another bolt. Qui-Gon spun towards me. His lightsaber sprang to life. As soon as I reached him, I dived to the ground. After a few well-deflected shots, the droids and their transports were blown to shrapnel, destroyed by their own blasts.

Embarrassed, I climbed to my feet, still attempting to regain my breath. Qui-Gon was staring expectantly at me. "Sorry Master," I panted. "The water fried my weapon."

After giving him the weapon to inspect, I felt my shoulders slump. His disapproving look after seeing the blackened blade emitter made me feel like a third year initiate again. A Jedi was supposed to be _responsible_. His tone was reproachful when he spoke.

"You forgot to turn your power off again, didn't you?"

I nodded sheepishly. A blush crept up my face.

"It won't take long to recharge. I trust you have finally learned your lesson, my young Padawan."

Inwardly I cringed. He hadn't meant to hurt me, but his disappointment was obvious. Without meeting my Master's eyes, I took back the weapon and clipped it to my belt. A creature I'd previously paid no heed to pushed past and began thanking Qui-Gon.

"What's this?" I asked.

His response was curt and to the point. "A local," was all he told me.

_So I take it locals don't have names…Interesting…_

We turned and jogged off, leaving the "local." He wasn't far behind, however. The creature mentioned something about a city. We both stopped. Qui-Gon began questioning him, but the amphibious being merely shook his head.

Well, I thought, if gentle persuasion wouldn't work, there were always other methods of convincing.

Qui-Gon straightened to his full height (as if he weren't intimidating enough) and stepped towards the creature. I realized now that it was a Gungan. Next time, I would reread _everything_ about a planet before embarking on the mission.

"You hear that?"

The Gungan nodded.

"That is the sound of a thousand terrible things heading this way."

A mischievous smile tugged at the corners of my mouth as I advanced towards the obviously worried creature. I couldn't help it. My dry sense of humor was about to make another cameo appearance. "If they find us, they will crush us, grind us into tiny pieces, and _blast_ us into oblivion!" Whatever discouragement I had felt earlier was gone. I looked briefly at Qui-Gon, my eyes alight with blithe. Whether my Master thought I was enjoying myself too much, I don't know. The twinkle in his eyes, however, told me I wasn't to be rebuked.

The Gungan forgot all his previous arguments and hurriedly waved us forward. "Dis way! Hurry!"

The young alien finally stopped at a lake after having led us through the swaps for a few minutes. Qui-Gon and I slowed to a walk. One look at the murky water and I was instantly reminded of the day's earlier incident. I wouldn't make the same mistake twice, though. I _had_ learned my lesson. Death was not something to be toyed with lightly. And, I decided I had played with it enough for one day.

I began pulling my breather out after being told we were going under water. The Gungan turned to us one last time. I was beginning to wonder if Qui-Gon had made a mistake by allowing him to stay with us.

"My warning yous. Gungans no liken outsiders. So don't expict a werm welcome."

_Here we go again… _"Oh don't worry, this hasn't been our day for warm welcomes."

With that said, we waded into the cold swamp water.

Seconds ticked by without thought. Then minutes. So far we had seen nothing in the murky water save a few luminescent fish, and I was growing impatient. It seemed like my patience thrived on seconds and nothing more, something to be worked on once we made it back to the Temple.

I reached across the bond my Master and I shared to gauge his response to the emptiness spread before us. He wasn't concerned. Of course he wasn't concerned. He never was. After all, I was still the worrywart Padawan that I had been when I was younger. I worried enough for the both of us.

Light suddenly reached my eyes. A city—a beautiful city—lay spread out before us. Groups of bubbles sat bunched together, held by rock pillars. The light emitting from the bubbles allowed me to see Gungans going about their daily lives. The technology created by these creatures was amazing. If Otoh Gunga looked this splendid, I could only imagine the capital city of Naboo: Theed.

Our Gungan guide led us straight to one of the larger bubbles. I was surprised to see no type of airlock or door of any kind.

Our friend swam right up to the wall…and passed through it with ease. Amazing, I thought. I'd never seen anything like it before.

Qui-Gon and I passed through as well. Once inside the bubble, we removed our breathers. Around me I heard small shrieks from other Gungans. Still dripping water and gazing around in awe, I descended the platform we were on and stepped onto the square below. Qui-Gon did the same.

Two more Gungans, these riding kaadu and wearing uniforms, rushed up to meet us. They didn't look like they were part of the welcoming committee. I looked uncertainly at my Master. He closed his eyes and gave a quick shake of his head. /Let Jar Jar do the talking. We'll speak up when we're needed./

_So that was his name…_

Jar Jar greeted one of the Gungans—Captain Tarpals—with a large grin. The other was not as quick to return his welcome. Whatever Jar Jar had done, it must have been bad. While the other Gungan herded Jar Jar forward, Captain Tarpals turned to face us. My Master regarded him calmly. Finally Tarpals turned away. My Master was a hard person to share staring contests with. After a moment longer, we too were herded forward.

As we were led to our secret destination, I attempted to block out the noises of the gossiping Gungans around us. Obviously, they had never seen Jedi before. The prodding of Tarpals' electropole to our backs ceased abruptly. I discovered we were in a conference chamber of some sort. The room's transparent sides and row of benches reminded me of the Jedi High Council chamber. Qui-Gon and I left Jar Jar behind and approached the Gungan leaders. Qui-Gon focused his attention on a heavyset Gungan, obviously the head of the committee if his high bench meant anything. This Gungan, Boss Nass, identified us as Jedi. He did not seem pleased.

Even after my Master explained Naboo's current situation, Boss Nass refused to cooperate. His tone was harsh towards my Master. I didn't take it lightly and stepped forward to be equal with Qui-Gon. My voice was soft when I spoke, but it held a warning in it. Years of overseeing negotiations and peace-talks with my Master had taught me how to say much with very little. "Once those droids take control of the surface, they will take control of you."

Boss Nass thumped his chest defiantly. "Wesa no think so. They not know of usan."

I flashed Qui-Gon a quick look before turning back to the Gungan leader to try once more. This was not turning out to be our day. "You and the Naboo form a symbiant circle. What happens to one of you will affect the other. You must understand this!"

Boss Nass told us that they cared nothing about the Naboo, and the Naboo cared nothing about the Gungans.

So, I thought, this feeling of hate was mutual, yet they had managed to skip around war for many generations. What an interesting world the Council had placed us on.

I could have carried the argument further. Force knows how much I already longed for this mission to be over, but Qui-Gon once again took the lead. I felt the Force ripple just before he waved his hand slightly.

"Then speed us on our way."

"Wesa gonna speed yousaway," Boss Nass repeated.

Another ripple in the Force.

"We could use a transport."

"Wesa give yousa una bongo. The speediest way to da Naboo is going through da planet core. _Now go._"

"Thank you for your help. We leave in peace."

I mirrored the bow my Master gave the Gungan leaders and turned with him to find our transport. Even after 12 years, his abilities never ceased to amaze me.

A thought suddenly occurred to me. "Master, what's a bongo?" I asked.

He responded sounding just as uncertain as I did. "A transport I hope."

We barely made it to the stairs before Jar Jar called out to us. In his most innocent way, he asked for help out of his current situation. He gave my Master the most endearing look I'm sure his amphibious face could muster.

Surely Qui-Gon wouldn't…

He turned to face the Gungan. I saw it immediately there in his eyes, that look that meant we were about to take up the responsibility of another pitiful creature. "Master…" I began, letting my sentence go unfinished.

He didn't even look at me.

"We are short of time, Master," I tried again.

"We'll need a navigator to get us through the planet's core. This Gungan may be of help."

My words came out in an exasperated rush before I could think them over. I told him bluntly that I sensed a loss of focus.

Qui-Gon was never violent in any way whatsoever when rebuking me, but when his gaze rested once again upon me, I saw his eyes flashing dangerously. I had crossed the line. I had been openly (and I must admit purposefully) disrespectful to my Master. It felt oddly refreshing, despite the punishment I knew would come if I didn't close my mouth.

"Be mindful, young Obi-Wan! Your sensitivity to the living Force is not your strength."

He said it gently, but it felt as though I had been slapped. Like a hot iron had been placed in an open wound. I could hold his gaze just a moment longer before I had to turn away. His criticism hurt more than either of us had expected.

As Qui-Gon walked back towards Boss Nass, I remained glued to my spot. My wounded pride would heal, but at the moment, there were other things to worry about.

"What is to become of Jar Jar Binks here?"

So the 'local' really does have a name…Maybe they'll give him another warning and let him go, I thought, annoyed at the creature that had been the cause of my admonishment.

The Gungan leader's response surprised me. Jar Jar would be punished. And from the look on Boss Nass' face, it would be a painful punishment, torture perhaps. Or even death.

I glanced over at the poor creature that was moaning about the inevitable. He was to be punished just for returning home? A feeling of injustice filled me. My thoughts returned to that day when I was 12, stuck on a ship reeking with evil, that was taking me to a life I had never wanted, never asked for. On that ship, I had wanted to run through the halls, slashing and chopping at all that weren't fair and just.

Qui-Gon had explained to me how wrong this idea was. Evil would never completely be destroyed. The demise of one malevolent creature would only lead to the birth of another.

I had seen this often in my 13 years outside the Temple.

When I looked up again, swayed from my thoughts by the gentle brush of my Master's mind against mine, I saw Jar Jar being freed. Qui-Gon had won the battle. And he had not gone around hacking and slashing at things. How many more wonderful things could I learn from this man?

There was a small smile on Qui-Gon's face as he approached me, one that said 'I told you so' perhaps, but I chose not to pay attention to it. I wanted him to know I was still not pleased with his decisions.

Together, Qui-Gon and I trooped up the stairs, following a guard. Jar Jar stumbled after.

* * *

AN: I just wanted to send a special thanks to those who reviewed the introduction and first entry for my story. I've written fanfics before, but this is my first attempt with Star Wars, although I have been a fan for a while. If you think that at any time, one of the characters seems OOC, please let me know! Thank you's go out to: siri, Lanna, Ginger Ninja, Becky, rebel, Jay, SilverDragon, Weedus, anna, and Jaded1. 

May the Force be with you!

--Marie Kenobi

* * *

Page breaks now inserted where needed. (6/22/05)


	4. Entry III

**Entry III:**

**Unneeded Distractions**

* * *

It didn't take long to accustom myself to the controls of our new ship. I could thank my initiate training for that. 

Although the bongo was by no means a technological advancement, its organic body and used guidance systems kept it from being considered primitive. I mentally congratulated the Gungans.

They built beautiful vessels.

A gentle touch on my shoulder alerted me to my Master. I turned around slowly to face him. He smiled encouragingly, and with his eyes pointed upward.

I nodded and informed Jar Jar that it was time to leave.

The annoying creature had caused me to practice finding my center many times. I realized it was the only thing he was good for. But perhaps, if we ran into a group of Togorian Pirates on the way (which I knew was highly unlikely), Jar Jar could defeat them by talking their heads off. After all, if he could drive a Jedi insane with his constant complaints about going through a planet's core, imagine what he could do to a Togorian Pirate by talking about the weather!

My thoughts were unorthodox for a Jedi, but I couldn't help but think them. The brash, 12-year-old Jedi Temple initiate I thought I'd gotten rid of was still there, hiding inside my brain to leap out at all the wrong times.

The first few minutes of our journey played out mercifully, with only a few, spaced complaints. I even discovered the reason for Jar Jar Binks banishment—Clumsiness.

Thank the Force I was a Jedi and not a Gungan. I wouldn't have made it past 11 if that were the case.

_You're such a klutz, Obi-Wan. They should have kicked you out of the Temple a long time ago. They should have named you Oafy-Wan Kenobi._

My face contorted slightly at the memory. I buried the emotions and watched Jar Jar scan the land beyond the viewport. I closed my eyes in dismay. Qui-Gon's 'pet' project would lead to a disaster of some sort, they always did. And I could do nothing but stand back and watch.

I never liked seeing my Master go up against the Council. As a young Jedi and Padawan, I never spoke much which meant I couldn't help my mentor. However, it was Qui-Gon's decision to always choose the paths that he did. Therefore, I told myself, gritting my teeth, stay out of it. _Stay out of it!_

I realized with sudden clarity that I couldn't. "Here, take over," I barked.

Jar Jar visibly flinched.

Twisting around in my seat, I stood in the small sub and knelt before Qui-Gon. "Master," I began. I was sure he knew what I wanted. "Why do you keep dragging these pathetic life-forms along with us when they are of so little use?"

"He seems that way now perhaps, but you must look deeper."

The corners of his mouth were wrinkled slightly. _I'm glad he finds this amusing._ "I've looked deep enough, and there is nothing to see! He is an unneeded distraction!"

"Maybe for the moment. But that may change with time."

The unifying Force was my specialty, not his! OK, so I still had _some_ kinks to work out of my connection with it, but that wasn't the point!

I opened my mouth to say something more and he waved his hand to stop me.

"Listen to me, my young Padawan. There are secrets in the Force that are not easily discovered."

_Like his fascination with pathetic creatures…_

"The Force is vast and pervasive, and all living things are a part of it. It is not always apparent what their purpose is, however. Sometimes that purpose must be sensed first in order that it may be revealed later."

I listened to his words, asking my befuddled mind to translate, and shook my head. "Some secrets are best left concealed, Master. Besides, why must you always be the one to do the uncovering?" I asked. "You know how the Council feels about these…detours. Perhaps, just once, the uncovering should be left to someone else."

I knew my words may have sounded harsh, but all I wanted was one mission, _alone_, with my Master. We could complete them so much easier if it weren't for all the small distractions.

His face took on a sad expression.

I'm still not sure why.

"No, Obi-Wan. Secrets must be exposed when found. Detours must be taken when encountered. And if you are the one who stands at the crossroads or the place of concealment, you must never leave it to another to act in your place."

After a moment longer I sighed. "I respect your judgment in this, Master. But it doesn't stop me from worrying."

He talked almost too quietly for me to hear. "Be patient with me, Obi-Wan. A little faith sometimes goes a long way."

As I stood to return to my chair, I realized that Qui-Gon craved my faith more than anything. I felt the same towards him. Force only knew how much the two of us had been through together. Our dedication and loyalty had been tested more times than I could remember.

I had not been sitting in my chair for more than a few seconds when the entire sub shook. Jar Jar began to panic, flailing his arms about shouting, "Big gooberfish! Hugeo teeth!"

I took command of the ship again; we weren't going to be bested by a large fish at least while I was piloting. I thrust the steering mechanism violently forward, gunning the engine. We were unexpectantly released. I only glanced behind me to be sure that we were really free. It was Qui-Gon who announced what had saved us: 'A bigger fish.'

With the new threat still lingering behind us, I steered the craft into a cave.

"Where wesa goen?" Jar Jar asked.

"Don't worry, the Force will guide us."

Jar Jar's response to the Force, mixed with doubt and rejection, infuriated me. Just because his midichlorian count wasn't high enough to be a Jedi didn't mean he had to—

The ship began to emit a soft beeping sound. The lights dimmed, leaving only the emergency panels lit. We were loosing power.

Jar Jar's pathetic whinnying started up again. He thought we would die in the small sub. Not on my shift, I thought sternly.

While my Master attempted to quiet the Gungan, I flipped a lid up and began to tinker around with a few wires. I had done this plenty of times. Just bypass the power from one thing we didn't need to the one thing we did need. "Power's back!" I announced as the lights inside the sub returned and I jerked my hand back to avoid being shocked.

"Monstairs back!" Jar Jar squealed.

I straightened up quickly and found we were face to face with another one of the aquatic creatures. It was by far one of the most luminescent I'd ever seen…

Beside me, Jar Jar began to act erratically. With each passing second, I found it harder to concentrate. Finally, as I spun the bongo around, Jar Jar relaxed. "You overdid it," I said to Qui-Gon.

I was grateful for the quiet, but there must have been another way besides the Force. Jar Jar had scoffed at the mystical power.

Why couldn't others treat the Force with respect? The Jedi accepted with dignity every religion or belief they came upon. Why did others have to be so different?

_It takes all kinds to make up this vast universe that we live in, young Obi-Wan._

Of course, I thought with an inner sigh, _it takes all kinds._

The sub trembled momentarily from an unknown impact. I pushed the steering mechanism harder, asking the small ship for one last burst of speed. We emerged at the mouth of the cave only to see our previous savior was waiting for us, its mouth stretched wide. I gave an impudent snort and jerked hard on the controls. We veered past the monster just as the one tracking us flew into the other's mouth. I chanced a look back and saw the smaller creature's tall still flicking about in the mouth of the other.

I fervently hoped it was satisfied.

Jar Jar awoke shortly after our final escape. His incoherent mumbling was ignored by both my Master and I. "Head for that outcropping," Qui-Gon instructed of me, pointing in the direction he wanted he to go.

It seemed Jar Jar Binks was indeed a waste of time—The Force led us to Theed, not the Gungan.

Upon reaching the capital city of Theed, I angled our transport towards the shoreline. As soon as I stepped onto the firm ground, I realized the mission was only just beginning.

A lone battle droid stood facing us, his blaster aimed at our chests. My Master allowed the droid the honor of giving his brief command, "Hold it right there!" before cutting it into two smoldering pieces of metal.

I swore softly, knowing my teacher would not approve.

The Federation had beaten us. The situation had just become more difficult.

* * *

Qui-Gon and I crept noiselessly through side streets and alleyways. Jar Jar stormed through them like he was in a parade of some sort, knocking over enough things to make me lose count. I shot an 'I told you so' look at Qui-Gon. He returned the favor with one of his inscrutable stares. I was sure he was thinking somewhere along the lines of, 'So he was right about the mission, but my young Padawan still has much to learn about Jar Jar Binks.' 

The ear-shattering crash of another metal waste dispenser knocked over by none other than Jar Jar Binks made me wince. Qui-Gon and I increased our pace to prevent being caught.

We were sprinting through a deserted street when something caught our attention. My Master and I backtracked just enough to see a small assemblage heading our way before climbing a set of stairs to a catwalk over the street we had just been on.

A procession of unlikely sorts was heading our way. Without a word from my Master I bent down to conceal myself and scurried forward. Qui-Gon did the same. Even though he was a tall man, my Master was as agile as they came.

We crept to the middle of the walkway and looked down at the quickly approaching group; the strides of the captives held a purpose, though what they thought it was I had no idea. Surely they did not know we were coming to rescue them. Perhaps, I realized, the monotonous rising and falling of their feet was due to the haggard feeling that they thought they would die much sooner than expected.

It was up to us to make sure they lived to see another day.

A look passed between Qui-Gon and I. No words were spoken; they were not needed. We had found who we were looking for.

My fingers caressed the top of my lightsaber hilt, where they had been resting unconsciously the past few moments. I focused on finding my center then leapt easily off the catwalk, unafraid. No sooner had my feet touched the ground than I was suspended in midair again, using the power from my landing to kick out. My booted feet knocked a droid to the ground.

One down, seven to go.

While Qui-Gon took care of his share, I flung my lightsaber around, decapitating one and cleaving another in half at the waist. Qui-Gon finished the remaining droids with a Force push. With a final spin, I deactivated my weapon.

At my Master's urging, the Queen and her entourage left the streets and filed into a small alleyway. I brought up the rear to assure everyone made it and we were not seen. By the time I joined the others, I learned that either the formalities had already been performed or were entirely skipped. Qui-Gon was busily trying to find a way to contact the Republic. When we discovered, however, that the communications had been blocked, it left us only one option—the option of escape.

* * *

Page breaks now inserted where needed. (6/22/05)


	5. Entry IV

**Entry IV**

**Dealing with It**

* * *

With the buzzing of alarms ringing nearby, the Naboo captain turned towards the main hangar where we would find the transports we were seeking. Everyone broke into a sprint, the Captain and Qui-Gon leading the way. I stayed towards the back.

Suddenly, Qui-Gon came to an abrupt halt. He threw his arm out to prevent the dark-skinned man running beside him from going any further. A Naboo guard before me stumbled to his knees as a result of the unexpected decrease in pace. I yanked him to his feet and pointed to another alleyway on my right. "Go!" I exclaimed. The Queen, her handmaidens, and her guards scurried past.

A look passed between my Master and I as he too rushed pass me, headed once again for the front. /I'll handle it./ I told him, already moving towards the corner that he had refused to go around. /I'll catch up./

I thought for a fleeting moment that perhaps I'd felt pride on my Master's side of the bond. It was something I could not deny—I had always craved my Master's approval and trust. Most of all his respect and pride. I _longed_ for it.

_You don't deserve to be a Padawan. Much less Qui-Gon Jinn's!_

The whizzing of a blaster bolt centimeters from my ear reminded me to think of the present, not the past. Bruck Chun's taunting would have to find some other time to torment me.

Without waiting for the droids to attack me, I rushed the half dozen troops and took the offensive. My actions seemed to surprise them. It was their split-second confusion that allowed half of their group to the taken out. The remaining three turned and fled, reminding me very much of the cowards they worked for. I leapt high into the air, landing in front of the threesome.

"Uh, oh," one of them murmured.

I thrust backward with my weapon, twisted around and pulled it back in an arc, then jumped forward slightly and performed a diagonal shoulder to hip sweep. The three droids sizzled and staggered, then collapsed.

I stretched out with my feelings and discovered more droids were coming around the corner. Gathering the Force around me, I jumped for the rooftop to my left. The intricate designs the Naboo used made it hard for me to keep my balance; it was for reasons like this, however, that had made me work on my balance hour after hour at the Temple.

I reached up and grabbed the edge of a rooftop nearby, swinging my legs around to land on the next building. Casting out with the Force, I sensed Qui-Gon was close. The next few rooftops were quickly left behind as I leapt from one to the other. Within a few minutes, I could see the small band of rogues running through a back street.

I jumped down.

With my presence masked by intricate shielding, the guards at the end of the line did not notice me until they turned around. Even then, it was their own fear of being pursued that caused them to crane their necks to look behind them; my running footfalls were silent enough that only the most acute ears could hear them.

At the strangled gasps of the surprised soldiers, Qui-Gon spun around, his hand upon the hilt of his 'saber. He sent me a disapproving look. Sheepishly, I lowered my shields enough for my Master to feel me completely again. Qui-Gon nodded, giving me the only praise for a job well done that he could at the moment.

The guards continued to sneak glances at me as we ran.

For the most part, as we snuck from the streets to the hangars, the Queen and her handmaidens paid me little attention. Except one. I sensed something different about that one girl, something I couldn't quite place…

Large, double doors announced our arrival at the main hangar. I put forth a burst of speed, passing the group to come to a walk beside my Master, whom had also slowed. The Captain unlocked the doors of the hangar and Qui-Gon peered inside to assess the situation.

The soft breathing of our rescued companions cut the silence of the large hallway outside the hangar like a vibroshiv. I noticed distantly that the slightly obese Sio Bibble was breathing raggedly, his puffed out chest rising and falling quickly.

If Jar Jar's clumsiness didn't give us away, the Governor's serrated intakes of air would.

"There are too many of them."

My Master and I fixed level stares on the Naboo Captain.

"That won't be a problem."

The Captain continued to stare skeptically at us.

The stoic frown that always creased my features deepened. Why did everyone on this planet doubt the Jedi?

While Qui-Gon attempted to convince the young Queen to come with us to Coruscant, I let my eyes wander. Even the designs laid out for view in the hangars suggested the Naboo's love for peace and beauty. So what in the galaxy had possessed the spineless Neimoidians to blockade the small planet?

I involuntarily shuddered. My Master was right: There was something else behind all this.

The tangible feeling of shock and anger filled the Force. I threw a small shield up to prevent it from filling my mind. The Captain was surprised; the Queen and Bibble had sided with us, despite his protests.

My Master led the way through the hangar doors. I followed in second with the temperamental Naboo Captain scowling in third. In my many years as an apprentice, I'd found it interesting that men of importance could be reduced to tantrum throwing children when the Jedi became involved.

My Master's absent thoughts reached my mind. /Captain Panaka does not approve. He will attempt to make things difficult for us./

/Yes Master…What should we do about it/

/Humor him, as much as possible. We need his trust./

So when the Captain reached for his blaster and motioned towards a mix of mechanics, pilots, and guards, I touched his arm. "I'll deal with that," came my reply to his statement that the pilots needed to be freed. I forced years of experience into my voice to better persuade him. But the Captain, Panaka, did not volunteer to start an argument; he preferred to stay with the Queen.

I broke off from the group. My stride did not falter as I slipped behind a fuel vat. I would use the element of surprise on these droids just like I had done with the others.

Adrenaline began to surge through my blood before I could reach for my weapon. I had been trained as a negotiator, but battle always thrilled me. The Force flew into me with the swiftness of lightspeed as my lightsaber thrummed to life.

I was a conductor for the pure energies of the lightside of the Force: A learner of the great Jedi Order, a protector of peace and justice. I was one with the Force.

I had destroyed all of the bothersome battle droids before consciously realizing it, my actions guided by the will of the Force.

Lightsaber still in hand, I spun to face the Naboo captives. "Go!" I shouted. Turning and heading for the ship, my eyes sought Qui-Gon's. They met instantly; he had been watching my progress.

It seemed as if everyone would make it until one Naboo went down, then another. I squashed the feeling of helplessness that tried to overtake me with the idea that we had to escape. If a pilot or mechanic were killed…it was the will of the Force; I _had_ to remember that.

I ran towards my Master, destroying droids along the way. By now, the only humans left in the great hangar were my Master and I. We traded glances. /We need to get the ship into the air/

I deactivated my weapon and hurried up the ramp. The Naboo pilot in charge did not need to be told. Before the ship could take off, I hurled myself into a seat near the main cabin. I strapped myself in just as Qui-Gon ran in and quickly flung himself into the seat beside me. The ship blasted from the hangar half a second later.

Watching through a viewport ahead of me, I saw the city of Theed gradually grow smaller. The darkness of space snuffed out all external light moments later. The coldness was already seeping into the ship. I unstrapped myself and pulled my cloak tighter. From the corner of my eye, I saw my Master stand. He headed for the main cabin. I followed.

Inside, bent intently over the controls was a pilot that I recognized. He was one that I had rescued. By way of greeting, he introduced himself. "Ric Olié. Thanks for helping out back there."

His eyes shifted briefly to me. It is a Jedi's duty to serve and protect, I wanted to tell him, but I kept my mouth shut and let my Master speak.

Qui-Gon tilted his head in acknowledgment, but quickly added, "Better save your thanks until we deal with what's up here."

Far off in the distance, light from the sun reflected off of something, making it wink at us. It was not a star.

Olié dropped his gaze to the control panel. When he looked up again, a grin graced his features.

I sensed another dry sense of humor.

"Copy that," he said. "What do we do about these big boys? Our communications are still jammed."

Qui-Gon scoffed. "We're past the point of talking. Just keep the ship on course."

When he spoke again, it was directed to me. I somehow managed to keep my shoulders from slumping. It was my job to make sure everyone was "settled safely in place." In other words, put the Gungan someplace where he wouldn't get in the way.

Grabbing Jar Jar Binks by the arm, I hauled him into the anteway, and with an almost desperate urgency to my movements, found a place to drop my burden off at. He protested with ardor, I'll give him that, but I merely shook my head and released the door's lock. I pushed him in and looked up at the creature that was at least a head higher than myself. I fixed a meaningful look at him. "Stay here. And keep out of trouble."

A sigh escaped my lips after the door closed behind me. I was always getting stuck with my Master's pet projects. This one was no different, except now that we were in space, he would become an even bigger thorn in my side.

Around the corner I heard the nervous chattering of women. The Queen, I realized. The noise drew me like a sweet aroma. I stopped just inside the doorway and bowed. "Your Majesty."

The Queen stood before a throne, her regal aura filling the room. My brow furrowed as I straightened. The commanding presence was not coming from the Queen. It was coming from…a handmaiden? But that didn't—

"Thank you for your help, Jedi—What _is _your name Jedi?"

"Kenobi," I said. "Obi-Wan Kenobi. I am Master Jinn's Padawan learner."

Queen Amidala nodded. "Thank you Obi-Wan Kenobi."

"It is a Jedi's duty to serve and protect."

"Of course," she replied, for loss of anything better to say.

I sensed imminent danger on the horizon and prepared to dismiss myself. "I must return to the main cabin, Your Highness. Perhaps you and your handmaidens should find a seat."

The Queen nodded and thanked me once more. I bowed and turned to leave. Just before turning the corner, I glanced back into the room. I could see the Queen quietly conversing with the special handmaiden and nearly called upon the Force to heighten my hearing. But before I could, the handmaiden, sensing my gaze upon her, turned to lock eyes with me. We remained like this until Queen Amidala realized she was no longer the center of attention. I broke the stare by dropping my eyes and leaving. Where the handmaiden had seen a young man, the Queen would see an empty hallway.

Realizing I had taken longer than I should have, I moved into a brisk walk. The 12-year-old boy inside of myself was battling for control again. I was fascinated by the beautiful transport I was on and longed to go exploring.

The ship shook beneath me, effectively freeing me of my curiosity. We were already under fire from the blockade battleship! My stride lengthened instantly. By the third tremble of the resplendent ship, I was running for the control area.

* * *

Page breaks now inserted where needed. (6/22/05) 


	6. Entry V

**Entry V:**

**The Here and Now**

* * *

No sooner had I reentered the cockpit than I was nearly knocked off my feet. Through the viewport, Trade Federation battleships gradually grew larger, filling our view of space. I reached my Master's side behind the pilot's seat as another blast shook the Nubian.

"Look, Master," I mumbled, just loud enough for him to hear. "Our old friends have decided to say hello again."

Qui-Gon peered at me strangely, as if I had just grown three more heads. It was the usual look.

"We should abort, sir! Our deflector shields can't withstand much more of this!" Ric Olié exclaimed suddenly. He was desperately fighting to control the ship as it rocked violently from every blast. The alarms that had been going off since I came in grew louder, if it was even possible.

My Master's face was a picture of calm. "Stay on course," he replied.

I could feel Captain Panaka glaring at our backs, waiting for an opportunity to rid him of us and take control again.

Such a pleasant man, I thought sarcastically.

Another blast buffeted the ship.

I looked to my Master, waiting for his plan to reveal itself. It was not what I had expected.

"Do you have a cloaking device?"

As Panaka yelled angrily at my Master, informing him of the obvious fact that the Nubian was not a war ship, and the Naboo a peaceful, nonviolent people, I turned my eyes back to the viewport. The Captain was right to feel angry and betrayed: He had ceased resistance when it became apparent he would not win. He had expected the Jedi to have a plan. I had been careless not to think up my own course of action as backup. After all, what good would a cloaking device do us if we couldn't even make it past the battleships?

The ship's power drive stalled for the briefest moment. Another alarm joined the cacophony already reverberating within my head.

"No weapons."

Qui-Gon spoke in a low whisper. I realized he had not expected this. He had been focusing too much on the living Force instead of the unifying Force. I regretfully had to admit I had done the same. I couldn't have chosen a worse time to obey my Master.

He turned his steely gaze upon me. I remained unmoving and strong, as I had been taught. Were we not to survive this…

_Nothing happens by chance._

I suddenly recalled something from the briefing for this mission. Qui-Gon picked up on my thought lines.

"The Trade Federation uses pulsar tracking for its weapons. Spin the ship. It will make it difficult for them to get a reading on us."

An out of place thought occurred to me as the ship began a slow spin. What was Bant doing? As I clutched desperately for a handhold, was she swimming? Eating with Garen, who was taking downtime? Thinking of me perhaps?

_You weren't going to say goodbye? You were just going to leave?_

_I've been assigned to the Agricultural Corps. I wanted to say good-bye, but…_

/Obi-Wan/

My eyes refocused just in time to see the Trade Federation's battleship's hull looming dangerously close. I winced, expecting the two ships to collide.

"Shield generator's been hit!" Olié relayed.

An object, plucked from its place under a chair by the spinning of the ship, slammed into one of my shins. Somehow, I kept a groan from escaping. This was not turning out to be my day.

/Obi-Wan/ Qui-Gon called again.

I turned to my Master.

/Focus on the here and now./ He rebuked me lightly, having picked up on my wandering thoughts.

I stumbled over to a readout panel.

The droids that had been dispatched to fix the generator were being blown from the ship to space with unfortunate swiftness. "We're losing droids fast," I told the pilot.

We had no droids besides the ones already out there. Next time, maybe the 

Queen would better equip her ship. _If there was a next time…_

Another droid was blown from its perch.

Of course there would be a next time, I chastised myself, tightening my shields so Qui-Gon would not pick up on my thoughts again. _Concentrate on the here and now!_

I squinted at the small monitor. Just one droid left. Its blue-dome reflected the red light of blaster bolts wherever it was still unmarred by smoke and grit. One blast flew dangerously close. Without warning, the screen was filled with a shower of sparks. My heart skipped a beat. Oh, Force! We couldn't lose that droid! Captain Panaka was right: we would be sitting ducks.

My unwavering expression of calm began to drop away until the screen suddenly became clear again. The droid was headed for the air locks. As Olié announced the shields up and operational again, and piloted away from the battleship, I slipped into one of the copilots' seats to give him a hand, occasionally rubbing my sore shin. It was no one's fault but my own, I thought glumly. I should have been paying attention.

Ric Olié turned in my general direction to see if I had seen the same thing that he had. "There's not enough power to get us to Coruscant. The hyperdrive is leaking."

I nodded in agreement. Qui-Gon gave our only option. "We'll have to find somewhere to refuel and repair the ship."

"Here, Master. Tatooine," I said quietly after a moment of searching through the star maps Olié had pulled up. I glanced over my shoulder as Qui-Gon came to rest his hands on the back of my seat. "It's small, poor, and out of the way. It attracts little attention. The Trade Federation has no presence there."

Captain Panaka was not as easily convinced. "How can you be sure?" he asked urgently.

Qui-Gon did not turn to look at him. "It's controlled by the Hutts."

Panaka's eyes widened. "The Hutts?"

My chair creaked slightly as I swiveled to face him. "It's risky," I began slowly, "but there's no reasonable alternative."

I was beginning to wonder if my Master was rubbing off on me more than I had expected. Sometimes, I took one too many chances.

The Naboo captain was beyond disbelief. "You can't take Her Royal Highness there! The Hutts are gangsters! If they discovered her—"

Qui-Gon finally turned to face him as he interrupted the Captain's small diatribe. "It would be no different than if we landed on a planet controlled by the Federation, except the Hutts are looking for her, which gives us an advantage."

After a few commands, my computer transferred the coordinates for Tatooine to the pilot, who would input them into the hyperdrive. The corners of my mouth wrinkled, threatening to reveal a smile. I could sympathize with the steaming Captain; after all, how often was I on the receiving end of my Master's fierce logic?

More times than I preferred, that was for sure.

Qui-Gon whispered a job-well done to me as the ship blasted into hyperspace, then tapped my shoulder and headed for the door, Captain Panaka leading the way.

It was time to report to the Queen.

Briefly rubbing a still-smarting shin, I hurried after.

* * *

Various crewmembers that I didn't recognize slowed our walk to the throne room. They touched my cloaked arm or hand as I passed them, lavishly thanking me for rescuing them from the droids in the hangar back on Naboo. I bowed my head in return, but they continued to follow us, not knowing of our destination. Captain Panaka finally shooed them off.

"It seems you are quite popular now," Qui-Gon murmured.

I looked into his twinkling blue eyes and snorted, my displeased frown contrasting sharply against his amused smirk.

"Relax, Padawan," he told me. "You're always so serious."

Speak for yourself, I thought when an emotionless mask settled on his face as we walked into the throne room.

Despite what one might think, I was rather shy. It was years of practice and my dry sense of humor that prevented most from finding out. The crewmembers' praise had only caused my cheeks to burn bright red.

The Queen and her handmaidens appeared the same as they had previously. Despite the ship's earlier spinning, not one hair or layer of fabric was out of place on the young ruler. I couldn't help but wonder how she would react to the news of Tatooine.

Her quick agreement came as a surprise.

After an introduction of the droid R2-D2 that had saved us, the Queen assigned a handmaiden to polish it. It was the special handmaiden. Her name was Padmé. Though how the Queen could tell one servant apart from the other baffled me. They had been picked to be nearly identical in height and weight as the Queen. So to say they were impossible to tell apart with their hoods pulled low would not be an exaggeration.

With the droid taken care of, Captain Panaka, then my Master, stepped forward to inform Queen Amidala of our current situation. I wondered if she was able to fully comprehend our drastic situation. As such a young queen, I did not expect her to think about the possibility of the hyperdrive giving out before we made it to Tatooine. I remained in the shadow of my Master, however, silent and attentive. This was how I learned best.

"You must trust my judgment, Your Highness," Qui-Gon finally said in response to more protests from the Captain.

"Must I?" she asked.

I tucked my arms further into the sleeves of my cloak and shifted my eyes to look from my Master to the Queen. You must, I felt like saying. But blunt force against Queen Amidala so early in the mission would not earn us her respect.

The vivid brown eyes of the young Queen finally turned to Padmé. I saw the handmaiden give a subtle nod towards Amidala before moving to stand beside the droid.

The Queen complied.

Nevertheless, a deep frown distorted my mentor's aged face as he left the room. I bowed to the Queen, letting my eyes wonder briefly across Padmé's hooded face, then skirted past a Naboo guard to join my Master and question him about the seemingly important handmaiden.

I was surprised to find him already stopped, conversing quietly with a crewmember. With black hair and vivid green eyes, the young man held a striking appearance. We looked to be about the same age. I wondered how similar our lives would be if I weren't a Jedi. Another moment and he left us.

I waited quietly by my Master long after the young worker had left, giving him the time he needed to put his thoughts together. Finally he turned to me. "We have been assigned our beds for the night. I will share a room with Captain Panaka and Ric Olié. You will bunk with crew members."

Qui-Gon looked at me in such a way that I thought he expected me to be disappointed. I was not, however. I did not like being given false titles of rank or authority.

"It is already 2000 hours, Padawan."

I hid my surprise at his announcement of the late hour and turned expecting eyes upon him.

He smiled. "The evening meal is being prepared. Come let's eat. I'm starved," he added good-naturedly.

My stomach rumbled in agreement.

* * *

The evening meal was grand despite the fact that our transport had not had time to be properly stocked. There was a mixture of wonderful foods to choose from, all from the many different cultures that made up Naboo. My mouth watered at the sight of Thereol soup.

As a dish of royalty, I had not had the privilege of eating it since our mission to Ranefor when I was 19. Its delicate ingredients were made of rare herbs and plants. The slow roasted meat floating in the creamy white liquid came from a bird that was bred predominantly in the small town of Thereol, Naboo; hence its name.

Qui-Gon and I attempted to sit ourselves near the other members of the ship to reinforce our well-meaning intentions, but besides a few curious looks, we were left alone. Not even our earlier followers spoke a word to us. Qui-Gon saw it as a sign of uncertainty and a chance to practice patience. With that patience, we would earn their trust.

The Naboo traveling with us just needed time.

Jedi intimidated most people at first. Master Yoda said it was because they did not understand the Force.

But living in a time filled with greed and corruption made me wonder. Did they not trust the Jedi because they could not even trust themselves? Or was it an envious reaction? I could name many senators back on Coruscant who would gladly sell their souls to harness the mystical powers of the Force.

With these thoughts in mind, I stifled a yawn, bid my Master good night and retired to my quarters deep inside the belly of the ship.

* * *

That night I dreamt of an incident that had taken place many years before when I was a mere child on the verge of becoming a teenager.

I awoke in a cold sweat, rubbing a neck made sore by fancy delusions, and instinctively checking to see that my shields were still firmly in place.

I breathed a sigh of relief. Qui-Gon should not have been awakened by my nightmare.

Not bothering to pull my boots on, I slid off the top bunk I had been resting on and crept barefoot to one of the ship's small, round viewports. Behind me, the ship's crew slept peacefully.

I had befriended most of them before slipping into my bed. They now seemed happy to have Jedi aboard.

My eyes roamed down an adjoining hallway. Qui-Gon's room was meant for those with high rank. Physically, I shrugged and folded my arms over my chest. That my Master had been given rank and I was placed with the lower workers did not bother me. What bothered me was the old memory that had suddenly resurfaced in my mind.

I titled my head to look out the viewport at the stars streaking past one last time. Closing my eyes, I shook my head slightly and headed back to my bunk. They had long been dead, so why did I worry so? Why was I thinking such childish thoughts? Gardulla could no longer slither around a corner and choke me. Jemba could not taunt me.

I was a Jedi Padawan. My Master was Qui-Gon Jinn.

_We were a team._

It would be a simple task to get the hyperdrive operational again once on Tatooine, right? The planet was renown for being abundant with Hutts…

They're dead, I told myself once more, pulling the covers up to my chin, fearful of the dreams that I was certain would come again to mock me in my sleep.

* * *

Qui-Gon had been there for me then.

Now, just a few weeks later, he is gone…and I feel so utterly alone.

I realize how odd that may sound, being on a planet such as Coruscant where one can step out their door and immediately come into contact with another living creature; where the airways above are always filled with ships of various sizes and shapes.

But I do feel so extremely alone.

And, oh Force, how it does hurt…

* * *

AN: Howdy again everyone! I hope you enjoyed this entry (and I hope you reviewed! ). But now I need some help from you, the readers. While working on Entry VI, which takes place mainly on Tatooine, I drew a huge blank about what Obi-Wan did or could have done while he waited for Qui-Gon. According to the Visual Dictionary for Episode 1, he watched over the damaged hyperdrive core, but I really do not want to write an entire entry about him watching it. I imagine it would be the equivalent of watching paint dry! So, any suggestions for what he could have done would be a huge help. Or, if you have the X-Box game Obi-Wan, information about that part of the game would be a big help too. Thanks!

May the Force be with you!

--Marie Kenobi

* * *

Page breaks now inserted where needed. (6/22/05)


	7. Entry VI

**Entry VI:**

**Seas of Sand**

* * *

When I opened my eyes again, I looked up to come face to face with my master.

"Bad dreams, again?" he asked, not meaning to make it sound like a question.

I nodded and wiped the sleep from my eyes. Qui-Gon smiled sympathetically at me and reached for my braid. I sat up, faking a yawn before he could wrap his large fingers around it. A look of sadness dimmed his bright eyes momentarily, and I realized I'd hurt him. It was strange—I would give my life for the man beside me, but I would do just about anything to prevent him from pulling my braid. Speaking of which…

"Master, the tail on my braid is long enough to be braided now. And a haircut would be nice too."

I reached up and pulled on the tufts of hair that were tickling my ears so often these days.

Qui-Gon started away from the bunk beds and I hopped down to follow after pulling my boots on. He waited for me to catch up. "Can that creature growing on top of your head wait until after the mission?" he asked.

"Of course, Master," was my response, "but I don't know if the one on your head can."

* * *

After a quick stretching session and an even quicker breakfast, Qui-Gon and I headed to the cockpit. Ric Olié greeted us with a weary smile. It looked as if he had been up half the night. I wondered if he had been kept awake with reasons similar to mine.

I sat in the seat to the left of the pilot—the one Captain Panaka had filled the day before—and remembered the heated argument that had ensued that morning at breakfast between the Captain and Jedi. Captain Panaka had insisted I go to the settlement, just in case the natives decided they didn't like the looks of us. He believed as a Jedi Padawan, I was more _expendable_ than a Knight or Master. He wanted Qui-Gon to stay and protect the Queen.

But when you choose to argue with my master, be prepared to lose. Unless you're Master Yoda, that is.

As the ship's nav-computer beeped and we fell out of hyperspace, I pulled up a map of the yellowish planet that was quickly filling the viewport. "Tatooine," I murmured nonchalantly, skimming through information of the desert planet, before finally finding what I was looking for: a settlement.

My master ordered the pilot to land near the city's outskirts, and then sent me to uncouple the hyperdrive. He also sent Panaka on an errand, much to the Captain's dismay. I hurried to the main cabin, passing my master, Jar Jar, the handmaiden Padmé, and the R2 unit along the way. A sickening feeling of dread settled in my stomach as soon as the door swished open.

The Force was warning me of something to come.

The hyperdrive was easy to pull from its resting place, but the sight that I was greeted by was not pretty. There was no way it could be repaired.

Suddenly, the door to the cabin flew open and Jar Jar stumbled in, falling to his knees before me. Somehow I suppressed the urge to run far, far away.

"Obi-One, sire! Pleeese, me no go wit Quiggon!"

So that's what this is about… 

Although I agreed whole-heartedly with the Gungan (he would only slow my master down), it was not my place to disagree with him. "Sorry, but Qui-Gon is right. This is a multinational spaceport, a trading center. You'll make him appear less obvious by going along. I hope," I murmured, turning my attention back to the hyperdrive. How was Qui-Gon going to conceal the fact that he was a Jedi? It would be obvious even to those living in the Outer Rim. And how in the galaxy was he going to keep Jar Jar out of trouble?

Qui-Gon answered at least one of my questions a moment later.

The cabin door swished open, revealing my master. He was pulling on a dirty, cream-colored poncho that had probably been collecting dust in the back of a storage closet somewhere for at least a decade. He walked over to me and cast his eyes over the hyperdrive. If it weren't for the burnt marks randomly found, I don't think he would have known something was wrong with it. "What have you found?" he finally asked.

I pried my eyes away from two lights blinking red and attempted not to scowl. Qui-Gon might tell me my face would get stuck like that, although Master Yoda thought it was already too late. I squared my shoulders and said, "The generator is shot. We'll need a new one."

My master nodded and looked around the room with a casual appearance before responding. "It thought as much. Well, we can't risk a communication with Coruscant this far out on the edge of the galaxy. It might be intercepted and our position revealed. We'll have to get by on our own."

I nodded and strained to hear when he lowered his voice.

"Don't let anyone send a transmission while I'm gone. Be wary, Obi-Wan. I sense a disturbance in the Force."

* * *

When the last sign of my master disappeared from view, I leaned up against a nearby wall. Getting the Queen and Captain Panaka to listen to me would be difficult without my master's commanding presence to back me up. Qui-Gon Jinn was a Jedi Master to be obeyed. I was an apprentice to be taken advantage of.

The cabin door swished open a third time, revealing Panaka and Padmé, the latter dressed in peasant's clothes. The two hurried past me and down the ramp. I pushed off the wall and watched them go, then turned back to the hyperdrive.

I suddenly had the impression that the easy part of the mission had passed. It would be sweat and toil from here on out.

It was not long after the handmaiden and Naboo captain scurried off that Panaka returned alone. He look one long, hard look at me then retreated back down the ramp and outside.

I straightened to my full height—which, when compared to Qui-Gon's, was not very tall—and stepped down the ramp. Captain Panaka was staring purposefully off into the distance, shielding his eyes from the sun with a brown, calloused hand. I decided to try and make amends. We would both need each other's help at sometime during the mission and it would be best if we were on good terms with one another.

"Captain—

"Look."

I squinted my eyes against the sun and turned my eyes in the direction he was looking. My left hand dropped unconsciously to rest upon my lightsaber, its presence reassuring to me. "Tusken Raiders," I breathed softly.

I had learned about the infamous race of people at the Temple during the semester that we were taught about the Outer Rim planets. They were a villainous-type of people, using poison on primitive weapons and occasionally raiding settlements. They could prove to be a problem if they decided to _investigate_ our ship.

Commanding the Captain to board the ship and hoping the Raiders would not be brave enough to find out how many more of us were on board, I followed him into the ship, took one last look at the damaged hyperdrive, and parted ways with Panaka, trooping quietly towards the cockpit.

I searched through the ship's computers for a while, absorbing as much information about Tatooine as I could. From this I learned that sand storms were frequent and unannounced, nothing like Coruscant, whose climate was controlled by great computers. Then again, no planet was as diverse or advanced as the city-planet.

I became caught up in my reading and barely noticed when my comlink began to give a faint buzz. An assistant pilot in the cockpit with me stared expectantly at the console where I was recharging my comlink. I ducked my head in fear he would see my cheeks flush from embarrassment of not hearing my own device.

"Kenobi here."

"Obi-Wan, we've run into trouble."

My breath caught momentarily. I shouldn't have let him go alone—

"I have managed to locate a hyperdrive for the Queen's ship. The junk dealer is Toydarian, however, and will not accept Republic daktaries, no matter what I say. Republic credits are not worth anything here. 20,000 will not get us anywhere."

I rolled my eyes good-naturedly. I wondered how many times he had waved his hand around before realizing Toydarians weren't affected by mind tricks. I could have told him that. A chuckle accidentally escaped my lips at the thought of my master actually being embarrassed. Of course, there was that one time Mace and Windu and I—

"Obi-Wan."

A sigh brushed my lips. " 'The here and now', yes, I know. Sorry, Master. So we need money? I have that credit chip you gave me as a present a few missions back."

There was a pause.

"That was not a gift, Obi-Wan. It's just an emergency credit chip the Council gave us that I decided to let you keep track of."

"Uh, oh…"

"Did you say something, Padawan? Oh, never mind. Have you seen anything we could barter with? Are you sure there's nothing left on board?"

Momentarily choosing to forget I'd used some of the money on the chip—and the item I'd bought with that money—I pressed a small button to reply.

"A few containers of supplies, the Queen's wardrobe maybe, but not enough for you to barter with. Not in the amounts you're talking about."

With the promise he would contact me later, Qui-Gon ended the transmission.

I returned to my reading soon after. While searching the contents of the computers, I stumbled upon a picture. My heart skipped a beat momentarily, and then violently pulsed again. The picture was of…Cerasi. Albeit younger, but it was still—No. _No, no, no, no._ I shook my head to clear it. The picture was not of Cerasi. It was of a young girl named Ryoo Naberrie. But wait a second, wasn't the special handmaiden's last name Naberrie? Running my eyes across the text below the picture, I was able to pick out the key words Queen and family, but those three words would not match. Just as I was preparing to investigate further, a wave of warning rolled across the Force. I was out of my chair and to the ramp of the ship before anyone else realized the oncoming danger.

Standing only a few meters from the Queen's vessel were two Tusken Raiders. Looking closer, I discovered they were mere children, but they still were not to be trusted. Each child held a spear in one hand and a stick in the other that possessed pieces of some disembodied animal they had just killed. The head of a womp rat dripped fresh blood onto the ground.

I remained perfectly still and patient, my left hand poised to snatch my lightsaber if it was needed, but the Raider children did not say a word. Suddenly, a violent wind popped up. The children glanced at one another, then me, and with another strong gust of wind, quickly scampered off in the direction I had seen the other Raiders in earlier. I watched them go until they were specs in the distance before turning away.

Deciding the chance of an attack was too high now, I walked a short distance from the ship to a place where I could better see all of my surroundings, yet still remain in the blissful cover of the Nubian's stretched out shadow. Since my eyes told me there was nothing amiss, I closed them, having learned from an early age that your eyes do not always tell the Force. When I tested the Force, however, it told me the same thing.

All was well.

Still…I had to be sure.

Qui-Gon? 

I gathered the Force around me and sent a pulse to my master. Usually he sent it right back, but this time I was met with a wall. I could tell by its structure that it was my master whom had erected it, but why would he be blocking me if everything were all right?

The wind began to blow more violently, howling softly and blowing hot sand into my face, pricking it like a thousand stingers. A sandstorm was coming, and the Raider children had known it. The Force alerted me to a presence just before Panaka appeared at my shoulder. I turned my eyes in the direction of the settlement my master had disappeared into. I was becoming deeply worried about Qui-Gon, even if I did know how competent he was and that he would never attempt to make it back to the ship with these harsh conditions. Perhaps that was what was bothering me, though. That _feeling_ I'd had earlier was once again rooted firmly in my stomach, gnawing at my insides like a half-starved wampa.

When I realized the Naboo captain was waiting expectantly for me to say something about our current situation, I felt a small wave of pride, but quickly squashed it. Pride was not becoming of a Jedi. Squinting against the sun, I spoke. "This storm will slow them down."

He nodded, apprehension rolling off of him in steady waves, although he did his best not to let it show. "This looks pretty bad. We'd better seal the ship."

Without Qui-Gon? 

I didn't like the idea of getting on board without him, but he was a wise Jedi Master; Qui-Gon would know when it was time to return. I just wished he would hurry up about it.

Captain Panaka's comlink signaled as I mulled over this and I leaned towards him to hear over the rushing wind. More sand pelted my cheeks as Ric Olié's voice pushed through the roar of the wind.

"We're receiving a message from home."

Without waiting, I hurried to the ramp, intent on getting to the Queen before she made a rash decision without me. Panaka's voice floated briefly to me as he complied, telling the pilot we would be right there.

Upon entering the ship's throne room, I spotted a hologram of Sio Bibble shimmering in the center of the floor and sidestepped around it, feeling the Queen's and her handmaiden's eyes on me as I took a seat. Oddly, I felt the Force whispering to me to take a closer look at Amidala, but I was pulled back to the present as Panaka walked in, taking a seat beside me, and the hologram shuddered softly to life.

"…cut off all food supplies until you return…death toll rising, catastrophic…must bow to their wishes, Your Highness…Please, I beg of you, tell us what to do! If you can hear me, Your Highness, you must contact me…"

Deciding I'd heard enough, I jumped to my feet. "It's a trick. Send no reply. Send no transmissions of any kind."

The Queen nodded, worry lacing her painted features as her fingers worked nervously in her lap. I turned and strode from the room, but not before noticing the uncertain glance traded between the Queen and her head of security. Gut instinct told me that what I was doing was right, but that exact same instinct had also caused me to make the biggest mistake of my life.

_You're the one who left the Jedi. When you did that, you cast doubt on the commitment of all Padawans, present and future…_

Shock and exasperation were equal as I slid my face into my hands and ducked around a corner. Not only did Bruck find it necessary to taunt me during this critical time, but now Siri did too! Although unlike Bruck, Siri and I had put our differences aside a long time ago, and grew to become allies. She still always managed to bring out my worst faults, however. That was, before _she _left the Jedi.

Pushing away the past for the umpteenth time since this mission had begun and deciding there would be plenty of time after the mission to mull over all of my suddenly reoccurring memories with my master, I headed to the cockpit to contact him. He answered after a moment, bringing a sigh of relief to my lips. Immediately, I launched into the current situation on the ship.

"You made the right choice, Obi-Wan," he told me as soon as I'd finished. I felt a great weight come off my shoulders at those six little words, but my mind was still not at peace.

"The Queen is upset," I said, remembering the look on her face earlier, "but absolutely no reply was sent."

"It sounds like bait to establish a connection trace."

I felt my voice catch momentarily in my throat. "What if it is true, and the people are dying?"

"Either way, we're running out of time."

My comlink emitted a soft screech, the interference from the storm breaking through our conversation before it beeped twice. Qui-Gon had cut the connection and I was left once more to ponder the circumstances alone, while he mingled with low-life scum in a strange settlement, following a plan known only to him. These weren't Jedi thoughts, I knew, but they were human.

I discovered that time seems to stand still when you have nothing better to do and are worried about someone close to you. When dusk finally came and the storm ended—at least for the time being—I stepped outside the ship and took a deep breath of air. It was gritty and stale, making me cough. Something about the endless sea of sand worried me—scared me even.

I looked down and dug the toe of my boot into the sand. For just the briefest of seconds, I thought I could see the image of an old man whose face was weathered and creased from stress that had built up over many years. With a grayish-white beard similar to Qui-Gon's framing his face, he looked very much like the weight of the entire galaxy rested upon his shoulders alone. His eyes held a haunted look, one ridden with failure and guilt and finally I found it to be too much and looked away. I'd felt a whirlwind of emotions when I had looked into those eyes, and silently wondered how anyone could live like that—although I wasn't exactly sure I wanted an answer to my question. After all, as a Jedi, I would never experience so many conflicting emotions at one time.

Off in the distance, casting golden light on my back, the twin suns of Tatooine made their final plunge and allowed darkness to begin creeping in. The image of the man was gone, but it had shaken me up immensely; more so than I cared to admit, and almost enough for me not to have noticed the hunters gathering around me…

* * *

I FINALLY went through and proofed this entry. Sheesh! Talk about bad! _Way_ too many typos if you ask me. I think I'll go back to the others now and see if they're just as bad. I do have two more completed entries from a while back that I was thinking I would type up and get posted here, but as far as finishing the story--I don't know if I'll do that yet or not. I'd like to (seeing as the _movies_ are actually completed now), but I haven't heard from anyone in so long, I don't know if anyone would _like_for me to finish it. I'm not asking for you to post reviews on the chapters, I'm just asking for emails or _something_ to let me know if there is any interest still out there for this series. Hope to see you soon,

Marie K.

* * *

Page breaks now inserted where needed. (6/22/05)


	8. Entry VII

**Entry VII:**

**Worrisome Times

* * *

**

From all around the ship, Tusken Raiders emerged, their faces hidden by dark cloth with small tubes jutting out for sight and air. Two of them grunted, producing animal-like sounds as they conversed amongst one another. I used the Force to feel for their presences. There were eight in total, with all standing in front of me, making a semi-circle. I hated being cornered, but I retreated to the side of the ship. At least now I had a safe side. But what good would it do me if I was outnumbered?

_Keep moving; use reversals; surprise them; change hands when you can; come at them from above and below; use your ground—_

_Of course! _A small grin lit my face as I ignited my weapon. No matter what, Qui-Gon's lessons were always with me.

Four of the Raiders charged suddenly, with battle cries rolling off their tongues. I waited until the very last moment, then gathered the Force into my legs and jumped high over their heads as though my muscles were made of springs. A somersault set me down directly in front of one hunter. I quickly turned his gaffi stick into an unrecognizable heap of splinters. A warning surged through the Force and I dropped to one knee, slashing backward at the same time with my weapon before bringing it over my head horizontally. A Tusken Raider howled. Two gaffi sticks plummeted to the ground. One still had a hand attached to it.

Three down, five to go.

After a moment of hesitation, two seemed to gather the courage to come at me again, this time from each side with their sticks thrust forward in hope that they could catch me in a pincher movement and skewer me.

I'd been in too many battles to let that happen.

Once again I waited until the very last second. As I somersaulted backward, I heard the _whoosh_ of the sticks slice through the air. Both Raiders took their comrade's weapon directly in the heart. They dropped immediately, the poison from the weapons seeping through their bloodstream and paralyzing them.

My somersault had put me half-way up the ship—but not high enough to be on top. When my feet hit the side, I rebounded off and came straight at a pair of Raiders below. They took the blow from my feet square in the chest and stumbled backward, gasping.

There was only one Raider left now who hadn't been bested by me, and he decided he would rather not share in his comrades' pain. He growled in anger, and the remaining Raiders who could still move hurried to the Banthas they had left in the distance. A cloud of dust was left in their wake.

Two dead hunters, multiple broken gaffi sticks, and a cloth-covered hand were all that remained to suggest there had been a scuffle. Just as I was returning my weapon to my belt, the ship's ramp lowered. I had been too focused on the Tusken Raiders to notice someone had sealed it. Captain Panaka and a small group of security guards and pilots bounded down the ramp. Panaka shook his head, removed his hat to wipe the light sheen of sweat from his brow, and then replaced it with another stupefied shake.

"What you did in five minutes, Kenobi—alone—could not have been done by any other living soul except a Jedi. I guess it's a good thing for us you stayed behind after all, huh? Sheesh…" He shook his head one last time and signaled to the group behind him to return their weapons to their holders. After doing so, they moved the two dead Raiders away from the ship and prepared to bury them. I wanted to tell the captain that any well-trained Jedi could do what I had just done, but he slung his arm over my shoulders and started up the ramp. I turned to give the endless sea of sand one last look for the night, knowing the Tusken Raiders would not be back.

Dinner that night was louder than I remembered it being the day before. The Queen and her handmaidens had taken their food in their quarters where it was quiet, but in the food hall, the men cheered and saluted me, exalting what I had done. It made me feel uneasy. I was glad when I could finally slip away.

I did not expect to hear anymore from Qui-Gon that night, so instead, I retired immediately to the quarters I shared with the ship's crew. I thought it would be empty and quiet, allowing me to meditate before falling asleep.

The room was not empty, however.

I recognized the young man with black hair and bright green eyes immediately. He had informed me and Qui-Gon the night before of our sleeping arrangements. Now I found him playing a lonely game of cards. I felt compelled to reach out to him for some rare reason. Usually I kept to myself unless the mission deemed otherwise.

I extended my hand, but he quickly jumped to his feet and bowed, upsetting the stack of cards near him. Realizing I had been scowling at the time I put my hand out, I backed off, smiled a little, and returned the bow.

"My name is Obi-Wan Kenobi. I realize we've never properly been introduced, but—"

"It's okay, really," the young man said shyly. "Jedi are busy. Trust me—I know how important you are!"

_That was not what I had meant…_

"My name is Jono Dunn."

With great difficulty, I managed to prevent my eyes from bulging out. "Wh-Who?" I choked.

"Jono Dunn," he replied hesitantly, no doubt picking up on my surprise.

Endless possibilities ran at lightspeed through my mind. I had known a person by the name of Jono Dunn once: while I was on the planet Gala with Qui-Gon. We had been requested to oversee the planet's first-ever vote for ruler of the planet. Up until that time, the leader had always been the first born in the royal family. Jono and I had become good friends during the mission until finally, in the end, he had betrayed me. It was a hard lesson learned….for both of us. Jono had been relinquished from his job as a servant to the Queen and sent back to his family to learn farming. It was the ultimate punishment that he could have been given.

But had Jono left Gala and come to Naboo? Although it was not the same job, he would still serve the Queen as a member of Naboo's Space Fighter Corps. Serving the Queen on Gala had been the meaning behind his entire life…

"Jono, where were you born?" I asked, hoping it didn't sound too suspicious.

He gave me an odd look. If Jono had come to Naboo from Gala, would he tell me? I was positive he would remember me, but after betraying me, would he be willing to face me again? Even all these years later?

My shoulders stiffened as he opened his mouth to reply.

"I was born on Naboo, of course. You can't serve the Queen otherwise."

My shoulders relaxed and I replaced the grim look on my face with a smile. Jono was telling the truth. It was just coincidence he shared the same name with someone else on another planet. Considering how large the galaxy was, it really shouldn't have come as a surprise. Actually, Gala and Naboo shared many characteristics when I thought of it.

I smiled softly. "Of course," I replied, nodding. "Of course."

* * *

The buzzing of my comlink made me sit upright in bed immediately. I ran the back of my hand across my eyes, which were still heavy from staying up late and talking with Jono about our pasts, and then retrieved the beeping device from where it lay on a shelf beside my bed. 

"Kenobi here." I pulled my cloak on and hurried to an adjacent room for privacy. I didn't want to wake the others or worry them with whatever I was about to learn.

As expected, Qui-Gon's steady voice filtered through, explaining the situation. I released a breath of air I hadn't meant to hold. My master did not hear.

"If all goes well, we will have our hyperdrive generator by tomorrow afternoon and be on our way."

I was silent for a moment. It was good news, but—"What if this plan fails, Master? We could be stuck here for a long time."

Had he thought about that? Probably not. Qui-Gon lived only for the minute he was currently in. He never thought of the consequences that may arise five minutes later. It was that difference that made us such a good team.

I sensed distance between me and my master. It was not the sort of distance made up of time or space, but rather it was like a physical presence. Another living being—

"A ship without a power supply will not get us anywhere. We have no choice."

The connection died. It was not something I mulled over this time, however. I was getting used to Qui-Gon's peculiar secretiveness on this particular mission.

I turned around just in time to find Jono staring at me. He gave a sympathetic smile.

I tried to smile back, honestly I did, but I found I couldn't and turned away. Jono had enough to worry about—his Queen and his planet were in danger of being destroyed. He should not have to deal with the worry that the Jedi team assigned to this mission was slowly, agonizingly, falling apart. I watched Jono converse with one of his fellow pilots, then turned and headed straight to the wardrobe room. It was large, giving me plenty of room to move about in. I took the two top layers of my tunic off before removing my boots and setting the power of my lightsaber to low. I took one more moment to tie a strip of cloth over my eyes and place small objects randomly on the floor—such as a portable map reader and my breathing mask—then leapt into the very first kata that I had learned as a child. Three-fourths of the way through the advanced series, I felt the unmistakable pressure of eyes on my back. I whipped the blind-fold off and spun around. A handmaiden—Eirtaé, I believe was her name—stood watching me from the doorway. She nodded to me and said serenely, "You are a good warrior. I'm glad to have you on our side. Most may not realize it, but the Republic would be lost without the Jedi. Let us pray that such a day never comes."

I sensed sadness in her words as she retreated and unconsciously shivered. There was something about the way she'd said it. There had been so much conviction held in those words, like perhaps she had already witnessed what she hinted at.

But the Jedi would always be around. Why wouldn't we?

I bowed tentatively to the air. "It is my duty to serve and protect."

But even that familiar and usually comforting mantra sounded hollow to my ears.

The sudden appearance of Captain Panaka in the doorway brought me back from my wonderings. "Her Majesty requests an update."

I nodded, setting my mouth in a grim line and squaring my shoulders. I would not tell the Queen of my master's plan. Surely she would attempt to prevent it. But then again, I would not lie to her either.

I collected my belongings, wiped my face clear, and put the two layers from my tunic back on to make myself presentable. Panaka waited, and then walked with me to the throne room. Jono passed us on the way, smiling faintly at me. I inclined my head in acknowledgement. He seemed to realize I was getting ready to conduct "business", for he bowed and stepped to the side until we passed.

The Queen was talking quietly with her handmaidens when we arrived. "Your Majesty," I said, bowing.

Queen Amidala seemed to puff herself up. "Padawan Kenobi, have you heard any news from your master?"

I swallowed. "Master Qui-Gon contacted me early this morning. He informed me that he had found a hyperdrive to replace the ship's damaged one, but—"

"But what, Jedi Kenobi?" Amidala asked with a hint of desperation.

"The only way he can obtain it is by betting on a podrace tomorrow."

The room grew deathly quiet. Somewhere in the back of my head, my dry sense of humor tried to sprout, but I squashed it down and instead waited, expecting her to demand me to give more details. Surprisingly, she nodded. "I have put my trust in the Jedi." She spread her hands toward me, palms up. "If your Master Jedi believes he can help my home and my people this way, then I will allow it."

"Thank you, Your Highness." Bowing low at the waist, I turned and left the throne room, once again wondering if I had done the right thing. If only I had as much faith in Qui-Gon's plan as the Queen did.

* * *

I remained in solitude the rest of the day, meditating. Shortly after noon, Jono's hesitant presence filtered into the room, but it faded quickly as he discovered I was still deep in meditation. 

Later, just as I was standing to stretch, preparing to turn in for the night, my comlink signaled. I nearly pounced on it.

"Kenobi here."

"Obi-Wan?"

"Yes, Master?"

"I need an analysis of this blood sample I'm sending you."

So I was right. A physical presence was coming between us, and I couldn't shake the feeling that I was being replaced. "Wait a minute." I pushed aside feelings of jealousy. Such an emotion was not worthy of a Jedi. Quick steps took me to the cockpit. The console before me turned the small room red as I switched it on.

"I need a midi-chlorian count."

The sinking feeling in my stomach emerged again.

The readings began to come through.

I blinked in surprise, and then rubbed my eyes. They had to be playing tricks on me. Perhaps something was wrong with the computer or the transfer was bad. Maybe the blood sample was no good, but when I told Qui-Gon this, he seemed to shrug it off.

"What do the readings say, Obi-Wan?" he asked.

Briefly I wondered when the last time he had called me Padawan was, and then unconsciously recoiled at the thought. Were things between us becoming that bad? "The reading's off the chart. Over twenty-thousand. Even Master Yoda doesn't have a midi-chlorian count that high!"

"No Jedi has."

I blinked again, scowling at the console and the readings it presented. The weight in my stomach grew heavier. I couldn't help but ask the question that lingered on my tongue—"What does that mean?"

"I'm not sure."

When the communication ended this time, without so much as a thank you or good night, I felt my stomach churn. Things were getting out of hand quickly. Qui-Gon and I were due for a long talk at the end of this mission.

How was I to know then that it wouldn't be possible?

* * *

The next morning dawned bright and early. I checked my comlink for messages, but was not surprised when I discovered none. When I arrived in the galley at breakfast, Jono was obviously waiting for me. A grin of mischief lit his face. 

"We heard there's a race today. One of the crew intercepted a local communication by accident. Me and some of the guys are going to sneak in close to the settlement to watch. Care to join us?"

I looked contemplatively at the bowl of Thereol soup in my hands and suddenly lost my sense of appetite.

"Thank you for the offer, Jono, but I think I'll stay here. There are a few things I need to take care of." Not to mention Qui-Gon would put me through the worst punishment if he discovered I'd left the ship and Queen unprotected. I did _not_ feel like cleaning the Crèche's 'freshers for another month again…

Jono nodded and I saw barely concealed sympathy rise up in those vivid, lime green eyes. It was more than I could bear. I left my untouched bowl of soup on the table and hurried outside. I was never one to appreciate the effects of pity.

Lost in a mindless stupor, I realized how much simpler life seemed as an initiate back at the Temple. I remembered waking at an early hour—before the sun rose into the sky—and thinking it was normal for every being, no matter age or location, to be up during pre-dawn. I remembered how I "zoned out" during morning meditation so that I could greet the sun as it rose from the very depths of Coruscant. Master Yoda, my leader at the time, knew my secret, but I think he too paused during meditation to watch the sun come up.

I remembered the first time Bant sat with me at lunch. Garen had teased me ruthlessly for weeks. I remembered the first time Bruck Chun picked a fight with me—and how I gave him a bloody nose because of it. I remembered the first time I successfully dismantled and then reassembled my practice saber without help. And most of all, I remembered the first time I saw _him—_

I was nine perhaps, and a common visitor of the Healer's Ward (as I remain to be to this day). I had just been released, carefully scrutinizing the thumb that had been sprained during a sparring lesson with an older initiate, when I rounded a corner and very nearly ran straight into a senior apprentice—Xanatos. I'd heard of him before. The Masters often talked of the _beautiful, talented_ Padawan. I was impressed by him, but the arrogant sneer on his face told me the feeling wasn't mutual. He started to say something (which I imagine couldn't have been nice), when his master caught up with him.

Qui-Gon Jinn.

I was memorized from the start by that chiseled face, stoic expression, and…laughing eyes. The Jedi Master was everything I hoped to be: strong, powerful, respected, and the keeper of his own council. Qui-Gon Jinn often did things against the Jedi High Council's better judgment—or at least that's what I'd heard—and although I'd never been before the imposing group of 12 Jedi Masters all at once, I knew that was exactly what they were: Imposing. Grand. Intimidating. Powerful. For anyone to go against them was unimaginable; down right unthinkable! But he did it, and all the time from what I'd understood.

I watched him place a strong, yet gentle hand on Xanatos' shoulder and bow his head to me. As the two walked away, leaving me with my mouth slightly ajar, I promised myself that I would be a Jedi Knight, just like him, and I would be the perfect Padawan…to him. Qui-Gon Jinn just had to be my master. But, I realized, before I could become the perfect Padawan, I had to get to class—on time.

When my train of thought returned to Tatooine, where I sat on top of the Royal Naboo cruiser using my cloak to prevent myself from being burned by its searing hull, I contemplated whether or not I had accomplished what I set out to do all those years before—to be the perfect Padawan. Everyone else seemed to think so. Except him, the one person I would do absolutely anything for in the entire galaxy, because—sometimes—even that didn't seem like enough to please him.

* * *

Sweat dripped lazily down my face and over the tip of my nose. I was just about to wipe it away when a cloud of dust in the distance caught my eye. 

Expecting the worst, I pulled my cloak back on and leapt lightly from the ship, landing in a crouch. The cloud of dust was bigger now, but I could clearly see the outlines of tall, four-legged creatures. I hurried into the ship, looking for Panaka. He met me in the main cabin and together we walked back out under the twin scorching suns. A few co-pilots and crew members, with Jono amongst them, came out one by one to either see to those who had returned from the spaceport, or aid in bringing in the parts to repair the hyperdrive.

The boy had succeeded.

And I suddenly felt nauseous with dread.

I walked away from the ship, ignoring the Gungan Jar Jar more of out distraction than dislike when he spoke to me, and stopped in front of my master whom still sat perched on the long-nosed creature. I squinted up into the wizened face of Qui-Gon Jinn, trying to hide my uneasiness.

"I was getting worried," I said plainly, fervently hoping he would step off his high throne—literally—and reassure me that everything was fine, especially between us.

No such luck.

"Well, we have all the essential parts we need. I'm going back. Some unfinished business. I won't be long."

_Isn't that what he always says?_

I didn't mean for it to happen, any more than I meant to blurt my personal feelings out, but I found myself unable to hold the suddenly cold, blue gaze of my master. He knew what I was preparing to voice.

"Why do I sense we've picked up _another_, pathetic life form?"

Those blue eyes chilled me to the bone. It didn't matter that I could have probably melted one of my spare saber crystals on the sleek hide of the Naboo Royal Cruiser; that gaze nearly—just nearly—caused me to pull my cloak closer. I felt his piercing gaze hit me like a blast of wind from Hoth's icy atmosphere.

"It's the boy who's responsible for getting us these parts. Get this hyperdrive generator installed."

"Yes Master, it shouldn't take long."

My response was as emotional as the archive droids back at the Temple—sarcasm fully intended, of course. Even if Qui-Gon Jinn never noticed, I would still be the perfect Padawan. Because I was Obi-Wan Kenobi and there was nothing Qui-Gon could ask of me that I wouldn't do.

I spared one last look at the figure of my master as he was quickly shrouded by dust, and turned towards the ramp. I felt empty inside, like my master and I had never even met. I knew why I felt like that, too: because of the boy.

Suddenly, it was all about the boy…

* * *

Eek! Big apologies to all those who read the copy of this that had my notes inside it. I uploaded the wrong one it seems! But this is the correct version, and not only has it been spell-checked, but proofed, too. Whew! Good to hear that! As always, please let me know what you think. Should I continue this series or not? MTFBWY,

Marie K.


	9. Entry VIII

**Entry VIII**

**We Shall Be Patient

* * *

**

Jono sat in the main chamber with me while I installed the generator. He seemed utterly astounded by how easily my fingers danced along the machine's components. But despite the small talk he tried to make, he couldn't pull me from my stupor. Connecting the last wire, I turned to Jono. The young pilot quieted immediately.

"I—I have to go," I told him lamely, pulling my cloak tight around me despite the heat and unconsciously folding my arms across my chest. The habit was something I'd picked up from Qui-Gon and usually did only when unknowingly demanding respect and cooperation. Jono got the message and moved to leave. Just before disappearing around the door he stopped and turned back to me.

"If you need company, the guys and I will be playing a game of sabaac later. You're always welcome…"

"Thank you," was all I could manage to reply as he left. Rubbing my face wearily, I tightened my mental shields, effectively blocking Qui-Gon in the process—although I didn't see where it mattered since he had already clamped down on his end of the training bond—and replaced my old, worn image of Jedi calm with a fresh one complete with my customary scowl.

Satisfied that my 'perfect Padawan' image would not be tarnished by visible showings of self-pitying emotions, I swept out of the cabin and headed towards the cockpit, passing Panaka and the special handmaiden along the way. After a quick, respectful bow I was on my way again, the corners of my mouth twitching into a half-smile when I heard Padmé ask why her beloved Queen's ship reflected scars from lightsaber and blaster wounds.

The young handmaiden had no idea and could never hope to understand what had taken place both inside and outside the Nubian craft while she had been away playing tag-along with my master.

Inside the cockpit, I was greeted by the cheerful face of Ric Olié.

"Got that hyperdrive generator installed, Jedi?" he asked.

"Yes, Captain Olié," I responded.

"Pshaw!" the captain exclaimed. "Call me Ric."

I found myself smiling slightly. "Then you can call me Obi-Wan."

"Deal!" he replied with a smile of his own. "So Obi-Wan, care to help me with the preflight check? I'm dying to get off this planet."

"You're not the only one," I grumbled softly, earning a large smile from the older man. While rechecking the present coordinates for Coruscant, however, a dark cloud seemed to settle over my mind. I just barely registered Ric as he placed the last test wires in their storage compartment.

"Everything checks out. We can leave as soon as Qui-Gon gets back."

"Good," I said in reply, but silently I wondered why I did not feel as relieved as I should have. After all, I had been wanting to leave this sun bleached planet even before we touched down. I wished someone would remind me again why I had chosen it….But why, now of all times, did I feel so compelled to leave the ship and venture back out into the sweltering heat of mid-afternoon?

Without warning, the cabin door swished open and a young child dressed quite nearly in rags hurried through. Panaka and Padmé flanked him.

The captain wasted no time in explaining their sudden appearance.

"Qui-Gon's in trouble!"

The simple uttering of those words sent my heart racing into an uncontrollable fit. All negative emotions I had been harboring inside myself were gone in a single gush of words as I dropped into a chair and leaned towards the viewport, squinting my eyes. "Take off," I commanded the pilot, leaving no room for second thoughts.

"I don't see anything," he retorted, but Ric was not a Jedi. The Force was not his ally.

I could see a small haze of dust lingering in the air beyond the viewscreen, and when I pieced this together with the raging turmoil of emotions coming from it, I knew we would find Qui-Gon in its midst.

The ship lifted smoothly, despite the quick speed Ric piloted it with. I pointed to where I sensed the disturbance and informed Ric to fly low. He set about doing as I said and I gripped the arms of my seat tightly in anticipation and worry as we glided just above the desert towards the dust cloud. As we came closer, I noticed that I could catch brief glimpses of not one, but _two_ lightsabers! But that was impossible! Only Jedi carried those weapons!

_Could it be a dark Jedi?_ I wondered briefly, just before my heart momentarily stopped beating. An old memory resurfaced. One about a young man with midnight blue eyes and a scar on his cheek in the form of a half-circle.

_Snap out of it, Obi-Wan! _I chastised myself. _The here and now; the here and now! Xanatos has been dead many years now!_

Swallowing and hoping to dislodge the stubborn lump of worry in my throat, I glanced over the ship's readouts. Ric had left the entry ramp open. I reopened the bond between my master and I, but did not dare try to contact him to inform him of the ramp. The battle below looked to be intense; if my master was distracted and injured—or worse—because of something I did, I'd never be able to live with myself.

_The ramp, Master! _I pleaded silently, careful to not broadcast my thoughts. _See the ramp!_

As though Qui-Gon had heard me, despite the precautions I had taken, I felt a brief swelling of the Force as we flew close to the fight. All eyes turned to the camscreens situated outside the ship, seeking the tall figure of my master. The Force told me he was on, yet it also told me he wasn't alone. Suddenly, I could see his attacker—a horned beast with red and black tattoos, clothed in pure black that was now stained by the Tatooine dust, and eyes as yellow as a fierce catling from Duna.

Beside me, Ric struggled to keep the ship steady as my master engaged with the warrior once again. The fear of those around me surged through the air, completely assaulting my senses until—quite surprisingly—I realized that the fear that filled the cabin the strongest was my own. I feared for my master's life like I never had before. He was a skilled warrior—one of the Jedi's best—and he had fought against and conquered more men—and women—than I could dream of.

But none had wielded lightsabers.

Save Xanatos.

And although I knew there was no way in the galaxy that that could be Xanatos, it still did not succeed in calming my raging heart.

Unconsciously, the name of the man I loved with my very soul brushed past my chapped lips, revealing all of my swarming emotions. Without waiting to see the outcome on the camscreens, I leapt from my chair and tore through the hall towards that bright—exhausted—light in the Force that could be only one person.

I felt as though I was running through a cloudy haze that caused everything, including the soft pitter-patter of the running boy behind me, to be obscured to an unidentifiable blob.

Except for the doorway.

The doorway that would reveal my master loomed ahead of me like one of the gargantuan caves of the planet Merol. I hesitated briefly just before I would have turned the corner and realized the fear still radiating off my essence would never befit a Jedi, especially when it was an apprentice preparing to encounter his master. Taking a deep breath, I tried to banish the 'what if's' roaring through by mind, but found they stayed stubbornly where they were.

What if Qui-Gon had defeated the dark warrior, but had been injured in the process?

What if the dark warrior had been trapped in the ship?

What if he stood just beyond the doorway, his lightsaber poised centimeters away from my beloved master, just waiting for the lowly apprentice to arrive so he could get the complete satisfaction at seeing the looks on the faces of both master and apprentice when he delivered the final blow?

The pitter-pattering of the boy's running feet and a foreign feeling—_jealousy_—raked through my emotionally exhausted mind.

_I _would be the first one to Qui-Gon's side; this time would be no different than how it had been for 13 long, glorious years. When one was in distress, it was always the other that comforted him.

Master and Padawan.

Teacher and student.

Not Jedi and boy!

Trusting the Force completely, I delved deep in its power and allowed it to confirm for me that Qui-Gon was alive—oh, how I hated to have to even think twice about that!—and alone. I yanked my comlink to my lips, barked "He's safe," then vaulted around the corner just as the boy arrived at my side.

Qui-Gon was struggling to push himself up onto his elbows; the droid R2-D2 whistled near his shoulder as we burst into the room. Despite what I had promised myself earlier, the boy beat me to it. He almost seemed to try and push me out of the way as he exploded with, "Are you all right?"

Hiding my distaste for the boy, I dropped to one knee as Qui-Gon was finally able to sit up, still breathing heavily.

_Of course he's all right!_ I wanted to yell at the boy. He's a Jedi Master! He's Qui-Gon Jinn! He's _my_ Jedi Master Qui-Gon Jinn! Mine, mine, mine!

But I had to be a Jedi. I couldn't pick childish fights with a boy at least 15 years younger than myself…even if he did stare at Qui-Gon with hungry eyes, like he secretly planned to take my master away from me.

I mentally shook myself, tossing the unneeded, distracting thoughts aside, and focusing once more on Qui-Gon.

"I think so," came his response to the boy's and admittedly _my _question. "That was a surprise I won't soon forget."

_That makes two of us_, I thought grimly. _Force! I've never seen him in such bad shape after a fight! If we hadn't gotten to him when we did…Argh! That should have been me down there!_

"What was it?" I asked quickly, almost hoping he would give Ric the command to land the ship again so I could deal with the beast.

But Qui-Gon shook his head, allowing the gesture to hold two meanings. No, he didn't know what it was, although he believed him to be trained in the Jedi arts and after the Queen. And no, we could not go back so I could pick up where he left off. I could already hear his reasoning: _"Do not chase trouble, Padawan. There are not many guarantees in the galaxy, but I guarantee you this: Trouble will find you."_

Confused as to the fact the warrior had been trained in the Jedi arts, I nodded nonetheless, believing it had been after the Queen as well and prepared to ask if the beast had said anything that could be used to identify it. The boy smothered my plans with the annoyance of a rainstorm during a picnic.

"What are we going to do about it?" he asked.

I found myself frowning…deeply. The boy should not be bothering my master with such petty questions. "_Go play with Jar Jar,_" I wanted to tell him, but years of diplomacy training could not be discarded so easily.

"We shall be patient," Qui-Gon responded, still panting and speaking in a tone I quickly recognized: his teaching tone. Why was he wasting it on this boy? Wouldn't we be parting ways soon anyhow?

If Master heard my thoughts, he said nothing. Instead, he smiled. "Anakin Skywalker, meet Obi-Wan Kenobi."

_The pleasure's all mine_, I thought sarcastically, making sure my shields were strong enough that I wouldn't broadcast. I shook my cloak sleeve back and extended my hand towards the young boy.

_Anakin._

A _new_ thorn in my side.

"Hi!" he said, and then seemed to really take a good look at me for the first time. "You're a Jedi, too? Pleased to meet you!"

I graced the child with a tiny smile despite myself. His enthusiasm was contagious. Had I not already developed a bit of prejudice against him, I many have come to realize this.

Suddenly, our shielded bond grew a little less gray. _Looks like you've made a new friend, Padawan._

I turned to Qui-Gon, the smile on my face widening as I watched him chuckle quietly. It had been too long since I had heard him laugh. Even still…_I don't know what you're up to,_ I told him, _but I'm sure it won't work—_whatever_ it is…_

_Oh, ye of little faith_, he retorted softly, his own grin growing larger.

The bond quieted on my side and I leaned forward slowly as though to brush a loose strand of hair out of his face as he often did with my braid. I pulled back before my fingers brushed the damp skin of his cheek, leaving my hand to dangle in the air before him as I remembered the distance that had grown between us while on Tatooine. Retreating into myself slightly, I reached out with the Force instead, seeking his true condition. He needed rest and a good meal.

Just as I prepared to delve further, I felt him simultaneously send waves of calm reassurance along our bond and he clasped my dangling hand with his larger one.

"We should get to the cockpit."

I pulled my attention back to the room with reluctance. I would have stayed in my trance for as long as I felt Qui-Gon's soothing presence so close to my mind again if I could have, but Anakin's fidgeting at our silent conversation and my master's voice caused me to snap back to the present moment.

Feeling Qui-Gon's rough hand still around my own, I helped him to his feet and waited for him to step ahead of me so I could take my rightful place beside him. He placed his hands on Anakin's shoulders and started down the hallway, never looking back.

With hurt and confusion oozing past my shields and coming to rest in my eyes—and ultimately in my heart—I pushed the raging, un-Jedi-like emotions I felt to the part of my mind Qui-Gon Jinn would never see. Taking a deep, somewhat shaky breath, I strengthened my reserve, banished—for the time being—Obi-Wan Kenobi the living, breathing human being, and released from his hold Obi-Wan Kenobi…the perfect Padawan, Jedi extraordinaire.

* * *

I trudged into the cockpit slowly with my hands thrust into the sleeves of my cloak. Qui-Gon looked over me impassively and nodded, his moves stiff. I noticed he had overcome a transformation of sorts between here and the entry—he looked as though he had never worked up a sweat or battled for his very life. I noticed that, although he released soft waves of exhaustion to roll off him and into the Force, he looked as if he had just emerged from a refreshing, warm shower or timely nap. Such were the deceptions that a highly trained Jedi could present to the unknowing that were around them. But most importantly, I noticed his hands were still gently resting on Anakin's shoulders. 

A strange thought came to mind. Had he ever done that with me?

No, no…The perfect Padawan does not require physical reassurance.

_Nor does he require verbal or mental or tangible_, a small voice said inside my head.

"Everyone, I would like for you to meet Anakin Skywalker. Thanks to him, I was able to acquire the parts we needed."

Qui-Gon's voice was warm with praise. Not knowing what else to do while the boy was introduced to those present in the cockpit, I leaned against the door frame, crossing my arms across my chest. Finally, Qui-Gon moved to stand beside Ric.

"Ready?" the pilot asked.

Master folded his arms and nodded, murmuring quietly, "Let's hope the hyperdrive works and Watto doesn't get the last laugh."

I groaned softly. _Oh Force, don't even mention that possibility._

Everyone reached for a handhold or settled into a seat for the jump. An announcement was sent to the rest of the ship to prepare via a soft, monotone beep. As Ric engaged the hyperdrive, however, and the stars successfully turned to glowing streamers, I fervently began to feel that fate was finally on our side.

With the ship now steady and safe in the clutches of hyperspace, everyone began to file out. After a little urging from Padmé—with a subtle hint of promised food—Anakin left with her, leaving only my master and myself in the cockpit. Simultaneously, from years of working side-by-side, we relaxed into two chairs. We sat in silence for a while, watching the stars streak past. I'm not sure what was running through Qui-Gon's mind—was I ever?—but I knew what was running through mine. I was ecstatic that we were together again; just the two of us, just like it should be. Happiness rolled from my end of our bond, and I mixed a bit of love and loyalty. I wanted my master to know I'd do anything for him.

Unexpectedly, Qui-Gon turned to me, his emotionless mask quickly driving away the small smile that had been smeared across my face. I watched his lips part and wondered why I felt distraction on his end of our connection.

"Never give your heart away completely to anyone, Obi-Wan. It only ends in devastating pain."

That said, Qui-Gon used the arms of his chair to push himself to weary feet and exit the cockpit.

As for myself, I could merely stare out into space, my mouth slightly agape as I contemplated his words. Was he disappointed in me? Had I done something wrong? Had I not done anything at all?

_He only picked you because the other masters felt sorry for you and forced you on him!_

_Shut up Bruck!_ I wanted to shout, banging clenched fists against my chair and then holding my head in my shaking hands. But how did one tell a memory—a ghost—to be quiet?

Sighing deeply and rubbing my face, I left the cockpit behind and searched for someplace quiet. I needed time to think, time to figure out why Qui-Gon was being so reserved, why he suddenly seemed not to trust me. I didn't think time—_patience_—would resolve this problem. I felt it would make it worse. Yet somehow, I, the perfect Padawan, couldn't sum up the courage to confront Qui-Gon about it.

Dropping the image of ultimate Jedi reserve for awhile, I trudged through the different hallways, allowing my fingers to run along the cold, smooth walls.

What had I done _this_ time?

* * *

Hey, look! Another entry! Everyone say it with me now: _"Wooooowwww..."_

LOL And it only gets better from there. I have another entry all typed up and _another_ in the process of being written. I must be sick or something! Big thank you's go out to: lovenhope, Flutie2891, AAvatar, Katieelessar. It's nice to know this story is still appreciated.

A note for anyone who is interested: I am writing this story as close to the "official" word as I can. By this I mean I am pulling from a HUGE variety of resources to try and get the best viewpoints for our lovely Obi-Wan. If the way I write him conflicts with any preconceived idea you may have had for a particular scene, I am very sorry. I am writing this to the best of my ability.

A list of resources I am using: The Phantom Menace (the official movie, adult novelization, and children's novelization); Padme's Episode 1 Journal; Anakin's Episode 1 Journal; the Obi-Wan Kenobi Episode 1 comic; the Episode 1 Visual Dictionary; The Jedi Apprentice series; The Jedi Quest series.

Hope you enjoyed the entry. As always, let me know what you think and see you in a while with the next entry. MTFBWY,

--Marie K.


	10. Entry IX

**Entry IX**

**Knightly Walks

* * *

**

I hadn't been walking long when the astromech droid that had first saved the ship crossed my path. Despite a furrowed brow, I found myself smiling at the little droid. R2-D2 was strolling through the hallways, whistling softly to himself. He gave an upbeat chirp as he passed me, and if I hadn't known any better, I could have sworn he nodded his head in acknowledgement of my presence—_if _he had a head and neck in which to do so, of course. _How odd,_ I thought to myself, resuming my wandering. _A droid with personality._

Eventually, the soft chiming of the dinner bell—and my nose—led me towards the kitchen. Surprisingly, the queen and her handmaidens were gracing us with their presences in the dining hall, albeit secluded in a corner. By the looks of the highly-stacked plates, a sort of feast had been prepared; no doubt in celebration of our successful departure from that horrid desert planet.

Rounding the corner to the serving line, I nearly collided with the boy Anakin as he came out on the wrong side. He gathered his bearings quickly, passing me a rather embarrassed and shaky half-grin, and then scurried away as fast as his short legs could carry him; the faint echoes of a murmured "Excuse me" wafted back to my ears. I watched him briefly over my shoulder as he navigated carefully through the throng of people, tables, and chairs that littered the dining hall, a plate heaped full of steaming delights clutched fervently in those two small hands. Scanning the room quickly, I found Qui-Gon to be nowhere in the vicinity. Somehow, I knew not to be surprised. I quite nearly shrugged as I let the concern and implications of it all float free of my already raging mind.

The dinner turned out to be marvelous indeed. In a pathetic attempt to distract myself, I sat with Jono and a few of the other pilots and crewman, including a mechanic that was just recuperating from a blaster wound he had sustained during our initial escape from the Theed Palace hanger bay. The mechanic—Satru, I believe was his name—explained to us everything he had learned from the memory bank of the witty R2 unit I had crossed paths with earlier. It turned out that, amongst other happenings, Anakin was a freed slave (freed by Qui-Gon, no less) whom had left his mother behind to pursue a future career as a Jedi.

_Well wasn't _that_ interesting..._

As careful as I was to try and hide my bewilderment, it still didn't prevent my brow from furrowing further.

What exactly was Qui-Gon up to? Truly? There was obviously more to this than met the eye.

Suddenly finding my food to be rather bland, I left the table with my trash and, on a whim, proceeded back to the serving line. Behind me, the mechanic was talking animatedly about some protocol droid that the boy had supposedly constructed from scratch.

Or so said the silver and blue astromech.

* * *

The serving line was empty when I came back through it. Unperturbed, I called out. "Hello? Is anyone still back there?"

A somewhat heavy-set man poked his bent nose around a corner, his chef's hat hanging crooked over his head. "The main meal is over," he said. "Cold snacks are in the cupboard as always. No more service from the galley staff until tomorrow's breakfast. Unless it's for the queen," he added quickly, stepping away from the wall when he noticed I hadn't left yet. He squinted slightly, as though trying to see better, then straightened considerably. "Master Jedi! Ah—may I help you? Were you displeased by your dinner?"

He sounded unnerved to have me back in his station for a second time.

"The dinner was superb, Master Chef," I said, inclining my head in respect. "I came back to inquire if it would be at all possible for me to take a plate back to my master, Qui-Gon Jinn."

"Jedi Jinn, you say?" He squinted again, as though he expected to see the older man somewhere behind me. "Ah—that would be, ah—well…ah, if you don't mind me asking—how much does he _eat_ exactly?"

"What?" Somehow I got the impression that there was more to that innocent question than what could be seen on the surface.

"Ah—well—not to be nosy, you see, but, ah—well, he _did _get a heaping plateful _earlier_."

"You mean he's already been in here to eat?" I thought I had gotten here relatively on time. Had he managed to slip in and back out before I arrived? How did I miss him?

"Well, no. It was, ah—it was…what's his name? Ama? Aha…? Ana—"

"Anakin?" I ventured to guess, just barely—barely—restraining a roll of my eyes.

"Yes, yes," he agreed enthusiastically. "I believe he, ah—left with a plate for your master Jedi just before you arrived."

For the briefest of seconds, I pinched the bridge of my nose, hoping to stop a headache before it began that I _knew_ was bound to spring up sooner or later. I much preferred the option of it coming _later. _Much, _much_ later… "Of course," I said to the chef when I noticed I was making him nervous. "Thank you." Bowing, my hands tucked resolutely in the wide sleeves of my cloak, I turned and left the dining hall.

_What a day_, I thought. It was quite nearly as bad as that time during initiate training when Garen and Reeft had dared me to stick my head between the railings of a banister on a seldom-used stairway. Bant had been against it the whole time, of course, so when my head became stuck, she was the one who stayed behind to help; Garen and Reeft had taken off. It was only after Bant had started using my training saber to slowly burn through the supports pinning me that we realized what they had gone to do: Garen and Reeft returned just a short while later with two of the youngling masters. I'm not sure who was more embarrassed that day—myself for getting stuck, or Garen and Reeft when they were ratted out by faithful Bant. Those two trouble makers were given punishment for a week; I got off easy: the masters thought getting my head stuck was enough punishment in itself.

Surprisingly, by the time I pulled out from my reminiscing, I was standing just short of Qui-Gon's cabin. The door was just slightly ajar, allowing soft voices to float out. I sensed only two presences; by the sound of the voices and the words spoken, it was easy to confirm that neither Ric nor Panaka were one of the cabin's occupants.

"Are you okay now?"

"Yes, sir." A sniffle.

"You are a brave young man, Ani. Your mother is very proud of you."

"Thank you, sir." Another sniffle. "I'm sorry; I just really miss Mom."

"I understand."

The muted sound of a hand patting clothing touched my ears. I could easily picture the large, calloused palm as it rubbed circles on that small back.

"Master Qui-Gon, sir?"

_Was that a twitch? I think I just twitched…_

"Yes, Ani?"

"Who is the other Jedi Knight? Are you partners?"

"He is not a Knight. He is only a student who is learning under me."

_And partners? Are we not partners, Qui-Gon?_

Yes, that was _definitely_ another twitch that captured my right eye.

"So he is your student? Isn't he a little…_old_? Did he fail a course or something? A couple of courses?" The boy asked this latter question in a much softer voice, but I had already tuned him out.

_Old! Failed! Why that little—_

"Obi-Wan has been my apprentice for over a decade now. He is an apt student. He will be taking his trials soon to be knighted and I will no longer be his master. He has done much to be proud of."

Was that wistfulness I heard in his voice? Sorrow? Regret? Why wouldn't Qui-Gon just let me in!

Slowly and quietly so as not to alert them, I placed my hot forehead against the cool durasteel wall and laid my palms on either side. _There is no emotion, there is peace; there is no emotion, there is peace; there is—_

Noise. Shuffling. Footsteps.

I backed away from the wall in time to see Panaka stroll around a distant corner, headed towards the cabin he shared with Ric and my master. A friendly smile stole onto his stoic features when eye contact was initiated. I nodded in both greeting and farewell, then turned in the opposite direction to head towards my own cabin. I could just make out a soft sigh of appreciation as I fell out of hearing range.

"Thank you, Ani. Dinner was delicious."

* * *

I couldn't sleep. Calm meditation was just as elusive. I needed to be moving.

Because when I closed my eyes, _he _was there: the horned beast.

At this hour of the night, the only lights tended to be from the guiding lamps. These small lights were usually placed on the edge of the floor—or sometimes along the tops of walls—and followed whatever trajectory was taken. They lit the pathway just enough to keep the walker from running into things, but were no good for practically everything else. So when a light at the end of the hallway caught my eye, I also let it catch my path and soon found myself peering into the bridge. Standing before a console, still in her bright orange robe, was handmaiden Padmé; she was deeply engaged by the hologram of Sio Bibble as it continuously played, re-looping every few seconds. I cleared my throat softly, not wanting to startle her too terribly bad. For some odd reason, I felt like being a little more sociable at this odd time of the night than I usually was during reasonable day-light hours. More proof, I guessed, for why I was a night person and _not _a morning one. Now, if only ­_Qui-Gon_ would come to accept it.

"Jedi Kenobi!" the handmaiden exclaimed when she saw me standing in the doorway. I watched her turn away, trying to conceal what I already knew. I said nothing as she attempted to hide the tears that were obviously there, giving her the benefit of the doubt. Before turning back, she cut the hologram's looping and cast a glance over her shoulder at a sleeping Anakin (who, I discovered, had taken refuge here for the night). Was it just me, or was there something in the way she looked at the boy?

Swiftly covering the few steps it took to where I was, she re-dimmed the lights on the bridge and began walking, expecting me to fall into step. Suddenly, I found that I wasn't sure of what I should say. Luckily, she was.

"I've heard that the Jedi have unparalleled stamina, but I didn't expect to find them roaming the halls of a ship deep in slumber at ungodly hours of the night."

Heat rose up from my neck to my cheeks; thankfully, I didn't think she could see this is the dim lighting. There were a couple of ways that statement could be interpreted…but it was best not to think about _that_.

"And I never expected to find a diligent, loyal handmaiden walking the hallways at night, either, when her queen might request her full attention and service the following day."

_Oh…was that a reprimand? Good move, Oafy!_

I waited for the sarcastic comment that I was sure would come, but received instead a—somewhat—withering glare. Either she was being nice or she was in actuality too tired to care. I thought the benefit of the doubt was indeed the best way to go again….

Inclining my head slightly, I averted my eyes in apology.

We rounded a corner and kept walking; our pace was a comfortable stroll, as though we had been friends for years instead of beings that had only recently met and spoken perhaps only half a dozen words to one another up until that moment.

"Master Jinn trusts his instincts devotedly."

Was that a touch of sarcasm I caught?

One corner of my mouth twitched in amusement. _If she only knew..._

"Qui-Gon has always been…a mite unorthodox in his endeavors. His habits can be…_taxing_ at times to one's patience, but more often than not he turns out to be correct in his assumptions. My master is one of the Jedi Order's greatest."

Despite all my training, despite all our recent problems, bragging about Qui-Gon Jinn was still one of my favorite pastimes. (Of course, complaining about him seemed to rank pretty high on the list as well.) "You'll find he grows on you," I added to my earlier thoughts, and looked down to see the handmaiden raise an eyebrow and give a quirky grin that I hadn't seen on her serene features before.

"I'm afraid he already has," Padmé laughed quietly. We turned down the left side of a forked hallway, in the direction of the droid storage compartment (which was now empty because R2-D2 stayed in the queen's company and the rest of the astromechs had been destroyed at our journey's onset). "He is a very compassionate man," Padmé continued, almost somewhat forced as though she didn't want to reveal what was happening inside her head. "I imagine most Jedi are."

From the corner of my eye, I just caught the look she passed me. Unsure of how to respond to that, I kept my mouth closed and gave a subtle nod of my head.

"Master Jinn and Shmi—"

"Shmi?"

"Anakin's mother." Something under her surfaced bristled, as though she wasn't used to being interrupted.

"Oh."

"Master Jinn and Shmi seemed connected on some deep level, if you don't mind me saying so."

"No, not at all. Please, continue." _Yes, continue. Because I have no idea what you are talking about..._

"I'm not sure I would call it love—"

"Love is forbidden for the Jedi."

No bristle that time. Instead, only surprise.

"Really?" Padmé stopped short to stare at me. "All love? Even between two Jedi? How lonely!"

"Well—" How to explain it? The answer was 'yes' and 'no'. I _loved_ my master, yet like him, I was not allowed to _love_ another—I could not _love_ Siri; he could not have _loved _Tahl when she was alive. Yet we both had broken the rules at one point. Like Master, like Padawan as the old saying goes, I guess. It was, in actuality, compassion that we really felt…or at least that's what I'd been taught.

Padmé must have seen the multitude of thoughts racing across my eyes and face, because she waved a hand in dismissal and began walking again. "That's okay; forget that I asked." She turned in the direction of the queen's personal cabins and I realized our talk would soon be over.

"No, it was not love between your master and Anakin's mother, but perhaps it was a mutual understanding. It is why I stated that he is a compassionate man—to be able to connect like that with a complete stranger. Shmi is a brave woman to let her only child go off with a man she just met to pursue a life that is wholly foreign to the both of them. Especially considering that she is now alone and still a slave to that awful Watto. Master Jinn must know how if feels to give your heart away to someone and then lose them."

"_Never give your heart away completely to anyone, Obi-Wan. It only ends in devastating pain."_

The realization hit me like a durasteel brick. In some way, Qui-Gon must have been reminded of Tahl by Shmi's own heart-wrenching goodbye…which lent some renewed hope to the idea that this rift between my master and I would be healed in due time.

"Jedi Kenobi?"

"Pardon?" Padmé was standing just inside a doorway, a worried expression etched onto her face. I realized she'd been trying to garner my attention for a while now.

"I said, 'Thank you for keeping me company.' Kind dreams to you, Jedi Kenobi."

"I wish you the same, milady." I bowed and swept off to my quarters. By the time morning came, I was still searching for those "kind dreams".

* * *

I was stuck in the seemingly never-ending world of my least favorite part of _every _mission: Waiting. Whether it was waiting for action, waiting for news, waiting for a meeting, or any other numerous numbers of things, I absolutely abhorred it. 12 years of apprenticeship to the endlessly calm Qui-Gon Jinn had helped somewhat, but not to the extent needed to fill my bottomless pit of impatience. Qui-Gon had told me many times that all it required was time…but didn't _time_ also require _patience_? What irony! And what luck….

Sleep had remained a rare commodity for me the past few days. Mainly for one reason alone—

The beast from Tatooine had started coming much more rapidly and consistently. To keep him from my mind's eye, I paced the ship at night (Padmé and I did not run into each other a second time) and meditated throughout much of the day to keep my strength up. This helped calm me somewhat and refocused my attention back on the mission. It also provided a valid excuse to squirt the curious, prying eyes of both Qui-Gon and Anakin. And really anyone else for that matter.

On my walks throughout the ship, however, I came to realize where my visions of the horned beast were coming from: Qui-Gon. Still as protective as ever, I visited his cabin at least once a night to send Force-enhanced suggestions of sleep and calm to his weary, raging mind. I was always careful—careful to be quiet so as not to wake the cabin's three slumbering occupants—and careful that my master never discovered my late night retreats to his room. I did my best not to make contact with anything but the floor; to do so would be to leave my Force-signature behind for Qui-Gon to read. I was sure, however, that if he really just took the time to clear his mind and focus, my personal insignia would rise up from the highly-polished durasteel floors and stab him blatantly—mercilessly—in the gut.

* * *

Sithspit…What a choice of words to have…I could have kicked myself for thinking such thoughts.

_But oh, Force…What a choice..._

_

* * *

_

Many, many thanks to the wonderful reviews of The Jedi Princess, Lady Larken, AAvatar,Jade Rhade, Vespa, and Katieelessar (especially you Katieelessar for reminding me to get on the ball! LOL). For those who are curious, the Obi/Qui angst is definitely brewing, especially considering they'll be arriving on Coruscant soon as we all know what happened _there._ I've already written up to Entry XII (the group is just getting back to Naboo in that entry), but because I don't know how long it will take me to write the Duel of the Fates scene, I've decided to take my time posting up to that point. I will probably post one more time before I leave to go out of town on the 28th of this month. I start my first year of college around mid/late August, so my biggest goal is to complete the writing part of this story before then. I managed to write the Council scene fairly quickly with results that--personally--turned out very satisfactory in my opinion, so I'm hoping the DotF will be just as easy. (Though I doubnt it!) Anyway, I'll stop yacking my jaw now. I hoped ya'll enjoyed this entry. As always, please let me know what you think and MTFBWY!

--Marie K.


	11. Entry X

**Entry X**

**Spaces between Us

* * *

**

The sight of Coruscant looming ever closer in the viewports was like a breath of fresh air inside the stuffy Nubian transport. We would be back at the Temple soon; the Queen would reach the Senate and solve this problem soon; and this mission would be over—not soon enough. I was already looking forward to having a normal relationship back with Qui-Gon, even if the inevitable "talk" set my heart to racing. I wasn't worried of the outcome—Master and I had always been able to work our problems out successfully. Besides, we had all the time in the world, didn't we? The words that would be exchanged were the only things leaving me somewhat jumpy about the whole ordeal.

Feeling drawn by a familiar presence, I turned towards the cockpit. Once inside, I wordlessly took my rightful place beside Qui-Gon. He was giving last minute instructions of what was soon to happen to the boy. I watched him slowly straighten back to his full height. The serene expression on his face did nothing to hide the fact that I had heard the words "Temple" and "Council" come out of his mouth numerous times. So that's what this was all about—the boy with the high midi-chlorian count would be put before the Council for testing. I said nothing, instead watching as he and Ric conversed about the ship and the city-planet, but deep inside, I already knew: the boy would not pass the Council's test.

* * *

Ric set the ship down gently with his expert touch. With Anakin and Jar Jar in tow, Master and I moved to the main corridor where the Queen waited with her vast entourage. Queen Amidala encouraged Qui-Gon to go first with a nod of her head. He acquiesced and we walked through the open hatchway and down the loading ramp. Chancellor Valorum and Senator Palpatine, both graying men, were the first to greet us as we spotted them amongst a sea of guards draped in blue.

I looked between the two men and my master, noticing the age similarities, but characteristic differences. Unlike the two other men, Qui-Gon's hair was still mostly untouched by gray. _Is that what politics did to a person?_ I wondered. _Stress you to the point of being overly, maybe even prematurely, gray? Or in Valorum's case, prematurely bald?_

Thank the Force Qui-Gon wasn't a politician. I could never imagine my master going gray.

These thoughts were still in my head but rapidly receding as my body automatically bowed to the two politicians. Qui-Gon and I shifted to the side to allow the Queen and her ridiculously large traveling gown to pass. I had seen worse dresses in my time as an apprentice and understood for the most part what their manner of existence was for, but in my opinion, a functionally capable cloak, tunic, and boots were all one ever needed, even for the most prestigious of events. Why wouldn't they work? They'd always been enough for me.

After a moment, our two groups parted ways. The Queen and her entourage went one way, and the Jedi drifted to Chancellor Valorum. My master and I were one of the Chancellor's favored teams, having been specifically chosen for many important and volatile missions alike. This fact enabled us to get straight to the matter at hand and skip any unnecessary preliminaries. I'd heard rumors from time to time that Qui-Gon, as an apprentice, had run into Valorum, as a senatorial aide, many a time when the two were younger. The men certainly did not hesitate to let their thoughts be known by each other.

Qui-Gon crossed his arms over his chest, a scowl coming to rest on his wizened features. "I must speak to the Jedi Council immediately," he said. "The situation has become much more complicated."

_That's the understatement of the year..._

A flash of tanned, sandy brown lost in the fiery-red handmaiden cloaks across the landing platform caught my eye. Qui-Gon's as well, it appeared. Anakin looked with a confused expression between where he was and where Qui-Gon stood, obviously trying to decide whom he should go with. Thank the Force, Padmé decided to speak up at that exact moment and urged Anakin to her. The boy finally scuttled away when Qui-Gon waved his hand in a dismissive sign of permission. I graced my master with a semi-appreciative look, but whether he saw me or not, I'll never know.

I couldn't help but look quickly at the boy, however, as he climbed into a seat beside Jar Jar in the taxi speeder. Why was I suddenly seeing something else to the boy? Surprisingly, in the naivety that shone in his eyes, I saw myself all those years ago when lonely thoughts of Bandomeer and the Agri-Corps filled my mind, when I was naïve still to so much of the Jedi's ways. But look at how much I had learned since then! Since I was just 13! And if I had learned all of that with my fairly average midi-chlorian count, what could Anakin do with the highest count yet discovered?

Too many questions. Not enough answers.

The thought of the boy being trained as a Jedi sent chills down my spine. My only consolation was that maybe, hopefully, the Council would reject him due to his age. Coming to the Jedi Temple to learn as an infant was one thing. Coming at the age of nine (and as a former slave, no less) was an entirely different story, I didn't care _who_ you were, "Chosen One" or un-chosen.

When he finished talking to Chancellor Valorum, Qui-Gon headed towards the opposite edge of the platform. A mental tug prodded me along. "Yes Master, I know," I said quickly. "'Keep your concentration on the here and now.'"

"If you think you know so well, then why do you not do it?"

I felt my cheeks heat in embarrassment, but did not apologize. I was sure Qui-Gon noticed.

I hope he noticed.

I felt a rebellious streak coming on, and truth-be-told, I looked forward to it as a form of relief. Maybe now I could get the attention I desired.

Was that childish? Maybe. But at the moment, I didn't think I was sure of anything anymore.

* * *

Waiting for us at the platform's edge was a Jedi pilot, most likely an orphan of the Jedi Starfighter Pilot Program that had been created on a whim, then just as quickly cancelled. My good friend Garen Muln had been one of such orphans until Clee Rhara took him as an apprentice. For a brief moment, I held hope that indeed it was Garen, but when the helmet came off, I discovered it to be Sema Das, a female humanoid only a few years older than myself, whom I had sparred with occasionally before she joined the program and I was accepted as a Padawan.

Sema stood as we approached and greetings were quickly swapped, as we had not seen each other in quite a while. Sema filled us in on the latest Temple news as we sped off in that direction. Not much out of the ordinary had happened. It never did.

As Qui-Gon and I stepped from the transport onto the Temple's landing platform, I turned back on a whim. "Muln?" I asked simply.

Sema smiled and brushed a strand of dark purple hair behind her ear. "He's just returning from a training run with a younger student this afternoon. Look for him within the hour."

"Thanks sweetheart," I crooned, tapping her chin before heading after Qui-Gon.

'Perfect Padawan' though I may be, 'Flirtatious Hunk' I could be also.

* * *

I had expected to receive at least an hour and a half of rest before the entire Council was brought together. Imagine my surprise when, half way to our quarters where clean clothes awaited us, our comlinks signaled and gave the code that every Jedi learned from a young age:

'Report to the Council chambers.'

I bit back a weary sigh. _Whatever happens,_ I told myself, _remember the Jedi's most important rule: Don't cross-examine a master!_

Usually this wasn't a problem for me.

Usually….

Usually Qui-Gon wasn't being such a stubborn blockhead even to me, and usually I wasn't feeling quite so rebellious.

Usually….

I drew on the calmness that exuded from every familiar wall, room, object, and being in the Temple, my home of 25 years, and allowed it to course through my entire being, straight down to my core.

_Don't cross-examine a master..._

The large, ornate doors swung open unhindered and Obi-Wan Kenobi, perfect Padawan, reared his ugly head yet again.

I didn't think holding my tongue would be a problem any longer.

So much for being rebellious.

* * *

The briefing went…_better_ than I originally expected. Of course, we were still sans the boy. I was already preparing for the disaster that I was sure would come about when Anakin and Qui-Gon found themselves in the Council chambers together up against the formidable stares of Yoda, Mace Windu, Ki Adi Mundi, Plo Koon, Adi Gallia…the list was practically endless in a sense. There was not a master on the Council that could be intimidated by Qui-Gon Jinn and a young, former slave boy. (Or so I hoped.) Still, by the rigid frame of Qui-Gon's shoulders as we stepped from the Council room, I could tell he was both determined and concerned about the boy's upcoming test.

As for myself, I had done as I had hoped and managed to hold my tongue throughout. Sometimes the 'perfect Padawan' guise came in handy. But whether or not I would be able to accomplish such a feat a second time remained to be seen.

The members of the Jedi High Council had taken Qui-Gon's suggestion of a possible return of the Sith hard. From the retelling of his story to the Council, I was able to pick-up things I hadn't previously known—hadn't previously been _told._ This latter half wouldn't have disturbed me nearly as much if not for the rebelliousness and clash of emotions that swirled inside of me again at that moment, for there had been numerous times throughout my apprenticeship that Qui-Gon had not informed me of one detail or another for his own private reasons.

Still, because of my current state-of-mind, the notion stung more so than usual.

* * *

I followed my master for a ways in silence, unsure of his destination. After a while we appeared on the roof. Sema was there, walking with none other than Anakin. It appeared that Qui-Gon had been so convinced of his ability to persuade the Council to see the boy that he'd sent for him ahead of time.

Something about the situation irked me, so that when Sema told me Garen had reported back and was preparing for a new mission, I passed my cares to the wind and hurried towards the main hangar just a few stories down. Qui-Gon remained with Anakin; whether or not he was taking him to the high tower for his testing, I didn't know.

* * *

Garen was still an apprentice himself. He and his master were a special team, both expert pilots, who often took on undercover work that could last anywhere from 6 months to 3 years. My good friend Siri Tachi was doing the same.

The fact that both Garen and I were at the Temple at the same time was good fortune. Careful not to run, but hurrying as quickly as I could, I made my way towards the Wing Apartments. They were called this because of their proximity to the hangar bays. Garen and Master Rhara had lived in there for as long as I could remember.

Each region of apartments was given its name for particular reasons. Qui-Gon and I lived in the Sun Apartments, due to the fact that Qui-Gon loved the Living Force and the sun was one of the greatest supports of the Living Force; our quarters were lucky to have a balcony that faced east. Together, we had seen some of the most beautiful sunrises.

When I arrived at the Rhara/Muln quarters, I found their apartment door open—not surprising considering the intimate safety of the Temple. Voices wafted out gently along the air currents. A smile tugged at my lips and I stepped inside. The adjoining room, which consisted of a kitchen and sitting area, was empty. A few steps to the right led me to my fellow Padawan's room. Garen's back was to me, but I could tell he was packing. Where in the _Sith_ was he being sent _now_? By the contents of his bag, this upcoming mission looked like a long one.

I ducked a low hanging fighter model suspended just inside the doorway and stepped all the way into the room. My eyes glanced along the walls, taking in the various posters of ships, speeders, fighters, and other assorted transports. They stopped at a still figure sitting in a chair in one corner of the room and I smiled. Bant Eerin was here, another of my close friends from my initiate days.

_Fortune must truly be on our side this afternoon_, I thought.

Luminous eyes lit up at the sight of me, but I motioned silence. I wanted to catch Garen unaware and send the young man for a loop. I had become so adept at masking my presence that he would never know I was there until I had chosen to make my presence known, and by that time, I would have already made my move. I crept up closer as Garen spoke up.

"I love these missions, Bant, but sometimes I think it would be nice to stay home a while; to not have to run every minute of the day, know what I mean? The times are getting so rough that it seems all we do is fight. Whatever happened to diplomacy? Not that I was ever one to enjoy mediation—that was always Qui-Gon's and Obi-Wan's specialty, but—Hey, speaking of which, have you heard from those two recently? I haven't seen Kenobi in a while and I'll be gone for quite some time with this mission, so—

"Ow!"

Just as I got behind him, the avid pilot turned in pursuit of more clothes. I do believe Garen's head was the hardest I'd ever smacked into. Over in her corner, Bant was giggling in giddy amusement at our whole charade. I grimaced and touched my throbbing forehead gingerly. Garen simply smiled, unfazed.

"Obi-Wan!"

"Sheesh, Garen—what's that head of yours made of exactly?" I felt him wrap his arms around me in a hug even as I still winced at my throbbing skull; after a moment I felt capable of exchanging the gesture. Bant was next on my hug list, and when we finished I searched the room again, this time for Reeft.

"He's out on an interplanetary dispute," Bant supplied.

"And Siri?"

Garen combed his hand through dark locks. "The Outer Rim," he said. "Working undercover. Adi is supposed to be joining her soon."

Bant resettled herself in her chair and I smiled as she misted herself with a sprayer. She didn't necessarily _need_ the moisture, but being a Mon Calamari, she did appreciate it. "Master and I will be heading out within the next week or two according to the Council. I'm not sure what our mission is yet, just that we're needed."

Bant's master was the formidable Kit Fisto. Originally, she had been chosen by a good friend of Qui-Gon's: Tahl. But Tahl had been killed not long into the Master-Padawan connection. Bant had nearly chosen to become a healer after the incident, but swiftly changed her mind when Kit Fisto asked her to become his Padawan learner. It was a great day for my friend and a huge step in her recovery from the loss of her first master.

Together, the three of us updated one another on all that had happened during our absences. Garen explained that he, like Siri, would be leaving for an undercover mission in the Outer Rim soon. In fact, he would leave that night just around dusk. He didn't know when he would be back: he thought it would be a long assignment. For my part, I told very little of my most recent mission. I had a feeling that, even though I said nothing, my two good friends were still able to pick up on the troublesome emotions that swarmed inside me.

Garen was just bringing matta mahn, a drink from his home planet that we all loved, when my comlink chimed another code. 'Seek me out,' it said, and I knew without being told that it was Qui-Gon. Garen and Bant knew the code as well, but if they wondered why my master didn't contact me via our bond, they didn't ask.

I had a feeling they already knew.

Quickly I said my goodbyes to Bant. Garen and I shared a mutual look before I left the apartment, throwing the Mon Calamari one last wave. Garen and I never said goodbye to each other; only I really knew how much he hated it.

* * *

Qui-Gon was easier to find than I first thought—he'd reopened a slither of our normally endless bond for me to follow. I found him striding purposefully through an upper hallway on the floor that put him as close as possible to the Jedi High Tower. We said nothing when I arrived, simply nodded to acknowledge the other, and kept walking.

Now that I was back in Master's presence, the urge to hold my tongue was slipping again. I felt that I had to make my feelings known. I'm sure he already knew how frustrated I was with him—try as I might, I couldn't keep traces of it from sliding through our—somewhat—reopened bond. But I was also beginning to feel embarrassed for him. _Someone needed to_, I thought grimly. With Anakin currently up in front of the Council, he was making a fool of himself; ironic that he didn't even have to be there for that to happen…

Didn't Qui-Gon know how he was hurting his respectability—again—by doing this? Doubtful: chances were he didn't even care….

But I did.

A door slid open ahead of us, revealing a balcony that I noticed was empty. I refused to look at the beautiful sunset up ahead of us, afraid that it would temporarily blind me and cause me to forget what I wanted to say. Knowing an opportunity when I saw it, I pounced; the words poured over my lips, unheeded. "The boy will not pass the Council's test, Master. He is too old."

There. I'd said it.

"Anakin will become a Jedi, I promise you."

Magic blue eyes, the ones that had always managed to quell my resistance before, sought me out. But for once, I was not the first to look away. A small sense of desperation flooded my insides. _Stop him while you can!_ it said. _You vowed to protect him!_ it said. And if I had to protect his reputation _for_ him, if I had to protect him _from_ _himself_, I would.

"Do not defy the Council, Master, not again." Was I pleading with him? Did I really care at this point if I was?

In unison our steps ceased and we turned so that we were facing each other. That look on his face…I recognized that look….

"I shall do what I must, Obi-Wan." _Would you have me any other way?_

The question was there, unspoken, but there. _No_, I thought, _I would never have you change. _If he did, my master would no longer be the man I had grown to love, the man I had grown up with who was as close to me as any father could be. I don't think I could take that…if he changed…

Still, his stubbornness aggravated me.

With a look on his face that spoke volumes, he turned and finished walking the short distance to the end of the balcony.

_Can't you see I'm just looking out for you!_

I wanted to scream. I wanted to yell at him and be angry for once in my life—I wanted to be_ human._ But I knew I couldn't. I had been raised and taught in the Jedi ways since before I could remember even being taught. So I said the next best thing as I hurried to be back at his side. He kept his eyes riveted on Coruscant and the sunset. "If you would just follow the code, you would be on the Council." _That's all I've ever wanted for you, Qui-Gon Jinn: For you to get the recognition you so deserve...But—_"They will not go along with you this time." He knew that—he knew that, deep down inside, didn't he? How could he not?

Qui-Gon looked over at me and smiled softly, almost sad-like. Was there something else, something bigger and more important to this meager squabble that he wasn't telling me about? My frown deepened as I returned his gaze. In one of his rare, open displays of affection, Master draped an arm over my shoulders and gave me a slight shake.

"You still have much to learn, my young apprentice."

Something in my gut churned as the connection of touch was broken between us. Simultaneously, as one mind, we both leaned our weight onto the balcony railing and looked back out over the Coruscant skyline. But despite the physical closeness between us, it felt as though the crack that had developed between master and apprentice was growing; before long it would be a chasm. The spaces between us were multiplying.

We were so close, yet really, so far.

* * *

Qui-Gon, you old bloke, what happened?

What happened that caused you to make your next decision?

* * *

Sorry for the long wait, ya'll. I was holding off on posting this next entry because I'll be going out of town later this week and will be gone for about a week and a half. I wanted to make sure you had a nice, long entry to keep you entertained while I was gone.

I can't remember if I proofed this entry or not and for that I apologize. I have up to Entry XII typed and up to Entry XV written, so I'm going to proof all of the typed entries today and make a note of it before I forget again. I'll be starting Entry XVI either today or tomorrow hopefully, and that entry starts off with the battle to get into the palace, so the Duel is getting _really_ close!

I wanted to add a bit of "the normal life" to Obi-Wan's adventures in this one, thus the inclusion of Bant and Garen. I also studied the balcony scene so many times that I'm sure my DVD player was about ready to spit the DVD out at me, LOL. I try to pick up on things that most people normally wouldn't give much thought to while watching the movie, mainly body posture. Since this is a first-person narrative, body language is especially important, so as the next few entries are posted, keep your eye out for little body details and then go check out the movie again. Hopefully it will give you a whole new perspective of the scene.

Thanks go out to Katieelessar, koriaena, Jedi Wanderer, and AAvatar for being such kind readers that they left a little note for me on the last entry. Now I _know_ there are more people out there reading this because I have _more_ than just four people who put this story on story alert! Please let me know what you think! This story has been nothing but a labor of love with lots ofblood, sweat,and tears (and I'm not just talking about for Obi-Wan! XD). Until next time, MTFBWY.

--Marie K.

* * *

A little edited snippit from the next entry, "Trials".

"Qui-Gon—Master," I began fervently. "The boy cannot come with us."

Qui-Gon stopped at the top of the landing ramp and turned to me, one eyebrow raised. "And why is that, my _young_ apprentice?"

_Do you have to sound so degrading when you say that?_ "He would only be in the way. We do not know what we will find on Naboo. You were wrong to take him before the Council—we all know it was a waste of time. The boy is just that: a boy. He is no more special than any other—"

"He _is_ the Chosen One!"

"Master?" Surprised at the outburst, I sought out Qui-Gon's eyes. He was avoiding my gaze.

"If I had wanted your opinion, _Padawan_, I would have requested it. You are in no position to verbally be approving or disapproving of my actions. It shows nothing but immaturity—No, _disrespect. _I thought you were above that, Obi-Wan."


	12. Entry XI

**Entry XI**

**Trials

* * *

**

By the time we were called back into the Council chambers, night had fallen on Coruscant. From where we had stood on the balcony, I had been able to follow each transport that entered and left the Temple. As we stepped inside, the last one caught my eye: It appeared to be a new model, perhaps still in testing. I recognized it from a blueprint picture on Garen's wall. It was deep blue in color, symbolizing the Republic's preference of shade, and of a wedge shape; it had no onboard hyperdrive. Instead, an equipped ring awaited it in space, just beyond the city-planet's atmosphere. I gave a slight wave and watched the ship grow smaller with distance. "Goodbye, my friend," I said, knowing it could be years before we met again. "Take care; and may the Force be with you."

* * *

We were issued immediately into the Council room. Anakin stood in the center, watching us expectantly. From the stoic faces of the masters, I was unable to tell if the boy had passed or failed. Ki-Adi-Mundi confirmed what we already knew. "The Force is strong with him."

"He is to be trained then?" Through the nearly strangled, but still partially open bond, I felt something inside Qui-Gon rise up, like hope renewed.

I looked away, focusing instead on Master Windu and Master Yoda. Somehow, I felt I already knew what was coming next; it was inevitable.

Master Windu, ever the picture of cool calm, stared down my master, his friend of many years, and said what most of the other Council members were too hesitant to say to Qui-Gon Jinn. "_No_."

While I know more was said—the dark skinned Jedi's moving lips were a testament to that—I wasn't able to hear it. That one word caused something in my master to break. A shielding wall partly crumbled and a growl greater than a Raykin bear smothered my mind. It was coming, I could sense it: the moment that Qui-Gon would forever embarrass himself in front of the Council; the moment when his reputation would be eternally tarnished…if things didn't go his way.

"No?"

I looked over at Qui-Gon, watching as he advanced forward a few steps. Had the moment not been so tense, I was tempted to come out with an "I told you so." In front of my master, Anakin's shoulders went rigid.

"He is too old." Mace waited for his words to sink in to my stubborn master's head, but suddenly I was reminded of what Anakin had said previously, concerning me—

"_Isn't he a little…old? Did he fail a course or something? A couple of courses?"_

It sent a non-too-pleasant shiver down my back, but it was nothing compared to what was soon to come.

The argument between my master and the Council continued. I stared at Qui-Gon, willing that single look alone to bring him back to his usually reasonable self.

To no avail.

"He _is_ the Chosen One. You must see it!"

"Clouded this boy's future is." Yoda lowered green eyelids, then raised them again. He waited for a comeback.

The Council waited for one.

Anakin waited.

I waited.

What I got was a near fatal heart attack.

"I will train him then."

_Wh—what? Someone pinch me; I want out of this nightmare! Qui-Gon?_

Desperate for relief, I looked to the ethereal image of my master. Funny…he _looked_ real.

"I take Anakin as my Padawan learner."

Those hands on Anakin's shoulders—The hope that flared in the boy—

_Qui-Gon?_

"_I was his Padawan. So I know what you go through every day, Obi-Wan Kenobi…."_

"_I don't care."_

"_You don't care about what?"_

"_I don't care that I broke the rules. It was right to break them…."_

"_I know what you wait for. His approval. His trust…."_

"_And was it right to break my trust?"_

"_I'm sorry I had to. But yes."_

"_But he keeps both from you. The more you try to please him, the farther away he goes…."_

"_At least you're still in one piece this time. Well, did you discover anything?"_

"_No, Si Treemba was captured before we could find the thermocoms."_

"_Obi-Wan rescued us."_

"_A man who puts himself in the path of danger deserves to face it alone."_

"_Will you ever take me back, Qui-Gon? I know I am meant to be a Jedi. I'll never doubt that again."_

"_I know you are meant to be a Jedi, too. But whether you are meant to be my Padawan again is not so clear."_

"_Everyone vies to be his apprentice. But he is the worst kind of Master. He denies you his trust. Yet he demands everything of you."_

"_Obi-Wan Kenobi. I heard you were back. I thought Qui-Gon Jinn dumped you. And you dumped the Jedi."_

_Oh, gods…oh, Force no…Stand tall, Kenobi; stand straight! Don't let him bring you to your knees! Oh, Force—this is real, isn't it? This is all real…!_

Masters Yoda and Windu were saying something. What were they saying?

"….you have, Qui-Gon. Impossible to take on a second."

"The Council forbids it."

"_I would be honored to accept you as my Padawan, Obi-Wan Kenobi."_

"_I accept, Master, Qui-Gon Jinn."_

"Obi-Wan is ready."

So that's how it was going to be…Dump me, _replace_ me right before my Trials, the second most crucial moment of my entire existence.

"_I accept, Master, Qui-Gon Jinn."_

Fine, I'd play his game. But not for him. Before this was over, before the bond was shattered, I swore I would let him know how I felt.

"I am ready to face the Trials." _Son of a Sith—can't even look me in the eye as he dumps me for this _kidBut somehow, those seven words I'd spoken aloud sounded hollow even to my own ears.

I can't hear Yoda or the other Council members. I can't hear the soft hum of the transports outside or Plo Koon's breathing mask. I can't even hear my own breathing as I rasp it out. All I hear is him…and the rush of emotions—fear, anger, confusion, loss—that cascade from me like a waterfall in the Room of a Thousand Fountains.

"He is headstrong and he has much to learn of the living Force, but he is capable."

'_Headstrong?' 'Much to learn?' 'Capable?' _The nerve! But…it was all true, wasn't it? I could feel the shame burning in my face as I looked briefly to the floor.

_Dammit, old man—_look_ at me!_

"There is little more he can learn from me."

There it was: that look. Brief, but there. The look that sat on the face of a man I had loved since first sight. I heard, but didn't comprehend the rest of the meeting. Where my mind was, it was hard to say.

"_I thought Qui-Gon Jinn dumped you. And you dumped the Jedi."_

* * *

The ride in the taxi speeder felt torturously long. There was space for only three, the pilot included, in the front seat. I sat in the back, alone with my thoughts as I stared at the passing skylines, seeing but not necessarily registering what went on around me. I was glad our pilot was not a Jedi this time.

I do believe that was one of my few coherent thoughts during the entire ride. The other sensible thoughts were of our extended mission. The Queen had requested returning to Naboo; the Council had reappointed us to the quest, despite the emotional turmoil I know they all felt coming from this particular Master-Padawan team.

'Emotional turmoil….'

Wow.

Sweeping a shaky hand across weary eyes, I bit back a sigh. If someone had offered me all the known Republic credits in the galaxy at that exact moment, I still could not have singled out one emotion that ripped through my mind. Perhaps it was for the best, though. For a moment there I thought I could picture a blue saber blade protruding comically from Anakin's head, or even a young man dressed in a tunic and cloak (a thin braid trailing him), as he fell through the comfortable Coruscant night air.

With a jerk I shook my head. We had arrived at the platform where we would await the Queen. Suddenly, the realization hit that this was my last chance to try and get through to Qui-Gon before the mission consumed our attention again—for the Queen to be returning to her blockaded planet, she had to have _something_ more in mind than surrendering.

I hoped.

I sat in the taxi speeder for a moment after its other passengers had exited and tired to collect my thoughts. When I looked up again, Anakin was the only one to be seen. He stood next to R2, presumably awaiting instructions. Hoping I didn't attract _too_ much attention, I fairly raced across the platform and up the ramp of the ship. Qui-Gon and Ric were discussing last minute details before our scheduled take-off; I quickly fell into place beside my master and found it suddenly hard not to tug impatiently on his cloak sleeve like a small child. There was no telling when the Queen would arrive—I had to convince Master _now._

"Qui-Gon—Master," I began fervently. "The boy cannot come with us."

_Whoops…those weren't the _exact_ words I first had in mind. _Think, _Obi, _think!

Qui-Gon stopped at the top of the landing ramp and turned to me, one eyebrow raised. "And why is that, my _young_ apprentice?"

Do you have to sound so degrading when you say that? "He would only be in the way. We do not know what we will find on Naboo. You were wrong to take him before the Council—we all know it was a waste of time. The boy is just that: a boy. He is no more special than any other—"

"He _is_ the Chosen One!"

"Master?" Surprised at the outburst, I sought out Qui-Gon's eyes. He was avoiding my gaze. As soon as he started down the ramp—no doubt to keep out of range of overly sensitive ears—I bolted after him, sticking close to his side.

"If I had wanted your opinion, _Padawan_, I would have requested it. You are in no position to verbally be approving or disapproving of my actions. It shows nothing but disrespect; I thought you were above that, Obi-Wan."

_Oh, I see…I'd hit a nerve. I'd injured his pride by speaking the truth. But it gave him no right to say what he had!_

"It is not disrespect, Master! It is the truth!" Why was he so blind to all that was happening?

"From your point-of-view, perhaps."

'Point-of-view?' How many times had he admonished me for perceiving things from a 'certain point-of-view?' I _had_ to make him see the truth! Before it was too late….

"The boy is dangerous. They all sense it, why can't you?"

Qui-Gon turned on me like a wild, angered malia. I was forced to stop abruptly, lest I run into him, and then it was all I could do to not back up a step in trepidation. That gaze of his was stinging and I felt my brow furrow and my eyes narrow just slightly under the pressure of it. Somehow, I couldn't click my mouth shut. Qui-Gon stared back into my unsure face with a look of—what? Disappointment? Hurt? Offense? It was hard to tell anymore with him.

"His fate is uncertain. He's not dangerous."

I clicked my mouth shut as we both noticed the Naboo crewmen file past us towards the ship. I didn't look for Jono; I was too consumed by the chiseled face before me. Qui-Gon turned to face me fully and in a slightly softer voice, provided the reminder that, "The Council will decide Anakin's future. That should be enough for you."

Somewhere between those two sentences, I felt myself jerk in surprise. Was that what I thought it was? Had Qui-Gon reopened the bond again? This time it felt nearly whole. But—

"Now get on board."

I hesitated slightly—I didn't mean to—and with a quick lick of my lips wondered if I shouldn't say anything. No, nothing more. To do so now would probably create more trouble. But—

_Just go, Obi. Just let it go…._

Yes, it was best just to go.

There would be time to talk it all over in detail later. I was sure of it. When this mission was over and we were back at the Temple, then we would discuss it, piece-by-piece. But—

As I turned to go, temporarily defeated, I realized for the first time that we had paused just beside Anakin—the center of all our troubles. He had to have heard everything. I gave him the briefest of looks, not wanting to linger, but it wasn't a negative glance. I think—I think—

As I boarded the ship, I was finally able to distinguish one emotion from the tangle that spasmed in my clustered brain:

Confusion.

Above all else, I was confused.

And if this was all it had truly been _before_ the realization hit me, I felt a million times worse now that I knew what it was.

* * *

Hello again everyone! Sorry for the wait, but I just got back in town Friday evening and have been trying to unpack everything I bought! LOL

Would you believe I spent TWO hours searching through my JA books just to find all of those quotes? But I like how it turned out. Again, I studied the parts of the movie included in here until I thought my DVD player would kill me (and I would suggest watching those places again--you might pick up more of the body language that Ewan and Liam gave).

Many, many thank yous go to Katieelessar, Christina B, AAvatar, koriaena, and silverzircon. I hope everyone enjoyed thisentry. Gotta run, please please be a good reader and R & R! MTFBWY,

--Marie K.

* * *

Excerpt from Entry XII, "Blue Eyes":

It started with sand—everywhere—as far as the eye could see. I was back on Tatooine (curse that Force-forsaken dust ball of a planet). I was walking with purpose in my step, though where I thought I was headed alludes me now in my wakefulness. And then, as suddenly as he had appeared atop my master in all of _his_ dreams, the beast was coming at me, barely seeming to touch the ground as he rapidly drew nearer. I watched that figure of red and black for the longest of minute seconds, fascinated by the whipping of his black cloak in the breeze.

And then I matched his feral grin with my own.

And I let my hatred for who he was—_what_ he was—and how he had attacked my master bubble to the surface and boil over.

I matched my hatred with his.


	13. Entry XII

**Entry XII**

**Blue Eyes

* * *

**

We were on our way back to Naboo.

During my 12 long years of apprenticeship—and even before then—I'd come across the emotion I was feeling at that moment quite a few times. It had never, however, been as strong then as it was now; except for one ordeal: Melida/Daan. I felt I was on a path long over-grown by weeds, shrouded in fog, and with more than a dozen branches that broke off of it. I had no clear indication of where next to put my feet. It was…_disorienting_ at best.

I found myself retreating many times to the Queen's storage room where most of her wardrobe was kept. This was where I had first met Eirtaé, the strange handmaiden whom had left me questioning everything I thought I knew about the Jedi and their place in the Republic's future. In my current emotional state, however, that was the last thing on my mind. Here—Here I could be alone with my thoughts. The engine or hyperdrive rooms would have been good for solitude as well, but—swinging a lightsaber around in those tight spaces with such precious equipment wouldn't have been the wisest course of action. Of course I was sure the Queen would have said the same if she found me in her wardrobe storage.

I kept busy by exhausting myself with training exercises, both with my weapon and sans its comforting weight in my hand. Sometimes I would turn to find a face peering at me through the partially opened door. Usually it was the ship's crewmen; sometimes Jono; sometimes Panaka and his troops; and even a curious handmaiden stopped by every now and then. When I turned to find Anakin there one day, I went so far as to stop and turn to face him, switching my saber off. I waved a hand casually at my training probe and it powered down to standby mode. A brief spark of amazement flashed from the boy's aura.

For a long instant, the two of us simply looked at each other. Somewhere, in the back of my mind, I was comparing this situation to the first time I had stood face to face with Xanatos. Old Padawan vs. new; young boy vs. young man. The age differences were certainly similar enough. Something about Anakin's crystal blue eyes set me on edge; I felt that he was picking me apart inside his head, piece-by-piece and it was unnerving.

_No._

The realization was a surprising one. Anakin was not picking me apart to find weaknesses as I had first led myself to believe. That would be the ill-will deep inside me talking. Anakin was picking me apart…in an attempt to better understand me. The boy didn't understand me—It was clear as day in his projected Force signature. He was…_curious_

Well this was unlooked for….

When I looked into his eyes, I saw the innocent naivety of a child; he honestly didn't know what hardships he had placed between my master and I by simply _being there_. But also in those eyes, I saw weariness and…fear? This slave boy—_former_ slave boy—had seen things that would shake even my experienced reserves. Even without speaking, I somehow knew this to be true. And…he had been asked to leave behind his mother, his entire world, to pursue a dream that may never come true. There was bravery in those eyes, too, though maybe he didn't know it.

We stood there for an indefinable period of time, taking the other in and digesting what we could without swapping even the first word. It was the appearance of a third person that awoke us. Padmé appeared behind the boy, admonishing him for disappearing. "We've been looking all over for you, Ani. Come here, we found something you might like. Oh! Jedi Kenobi!"

"Milady." I brushed my eyelids closed as I dipped my head somewhat. Padmé hadn't seen me until she'd straightened up and started leading Anakin away to wherever it was she was so excited about; but I never saw them leave. This was because my eyes shifted to take in the sight of a fierce jaw and freshly-trimmed beard that was beginning to be sprinkled lightly by gray. I followed this movement of sight to a humped nose, then to a pair of soft blue eyes with endless wisdom contained therein.

For the briefest of seconds, perhaps the time that elapsed from one blink to another, I thought I saw…an apology in those gentle orbs. But before I could be sure, they drifted from contact with my own and the eyelids fell. Without reaffirming contact, Qui-Gon turned and strode away, presumably after the handmaiden and boy. Was that…_shame_ that I saw in his slumped shoulders? Maybe I was just wishing too hard to see something that wasn't there.

But then again, maybe I wasn't.

Something must have happened, I must have fallen into a trance of some sort; because when the dinner chime sounded that evening, my eyes still stared unblinking at the place they had last been focused. I still stood where I was, lightsaber hilt poised in my hand, training probe floating lazily nearby, and dried sweat making my skin sticky. I gathered the sweat-dampened tunic from where it hung off my shoulders and around my waist and used it to wipe my face. I stunk—that much I knew and realized with a half-hearted, half-amused grin. With my stomach growling in protest over the delay, I hurried to a 'fresher unit to clean up. After all, how professional would it be if a smelly, sweaty Jedi apprentice tramped into the ship's dining hall and ruined everyone's appetite?

* * *

A few days into the journey, I managed to fall into an exhausted sleep. I had been training since early hours that morning, barely stopping to eat or rest, and it was beginning to take effect. Grimly I knew I couldn't keep doing this to myself: Naboo was only days away. I had to be ready for anything—weariness and sore muscles would never do. But my encounter with Anakin…well, it had shaken my reserve. Part of me wished that when this was all over, he would choose to remain on Naboo, maybe even garner a job that would serve the Queen. Somehow though, deep down inside, I knew he would still be that little thorn in my side when the mission ended…and possibly for years down the road, as well.

For a while I slept comfortably. It was often quoted that Jedi didn't dream; I wouldn't say this was entirely true, however. Sometimes I dreamt of things that could never in a million years turn out to be visions of things to come. From the onset of this dream, however, I knew I could never be so fortunate as for it to be "random energy" as Qui-Gon so loved to call it. This dream was true—from a certain point-of-view, at least. It was more than just eager energy, and the fact that I knew and believed this so strongly is what frightened me the most.

It started with sand—everywhere—as far as the eye could see. I was back on Tatooine (curse that Force-forsaken dust ball of a planet). I was walking with purpose in my step, though where I thought I was headed alludes me now in my wakefulness. And then, as suddenly as he had appeared atop my master in all of _his_ dreams, the beast was coming at me, barely seeming to touch the ground as he rapidly drew nearer. I watched that figure of red and black for the longest of minute seconds, fascinated by the whipping of his black cloak in the breeze.

And then I matched his feral grin with my own.

And I let my hatred for who he was—_what_ he was—and how he had attacked my master bubble to the surface and boil over.

I matched my hatred with his.

We leapt—high into the air to meet each other—and it felt like a lifetime that we were suspended just out of reach of the blade of our own enemy. He was mine, I was his.

The wind shifted, whipping my cloak about in the hot breeze that peppered exposed skin with sharp, grainy sand. One leg was bent high, prepared to extend and take my weight when I landed. I raised my blade, readying it for a downward swipe.

It was never completed.

I was awoken by the imagined torture of a red blade sticking unceremoniously through my mid-section. I came awake so fast that I rolled straight off my bunk, tangles of blankets wrapped around me, my head spinning. As I panted pathetically for breath and bit my tongue in an attempt to keep from vomiting, the strangest memory came to me.

Like most human males in their late teens, I had gone through a stage of my life where sleeping in the nude was preferred over any form of clothing I could acquire. I was broken of this habit when, on two entirely different missions in two entirely different planetary systems, I was startled from restful sleep by prying eyes. Two maids, one on each mission, and strangely alike in appearance, had been caught snooping in my assigned quarters. I had been mortified to say the least; as both incidents had occurred during relatively hot months when sleeping _under_ the covers wasn't exactly _comfortable_. Coincedentally (or perhaps not if one gave it even the smallest thought), I discovered later that the two young women were related. Qui-Gon refused to let me live that down for over a year.

_Qui-Gon…._

The name snapped me back to the present. After a cursory once over of myself that included an extra long pause at my midsection, I was able to reassure myself that I _was_ clothed—at least up to the waist—and there _didn't _appear to be a lightsaber sized hole protruding through my body. Stumbling quickly to my feet, I hurried out of the room, wiping sweaty palms on damp pants.

_Qui-Gon…._

Like a drunkard I tripped my way through the ship's hallways, hunched over like an old man. My bare toes took occasional abuse when I ran into something, but I didn't slow. I never really saw the guiding lights; it felt more like blindly walking through a black hole.

_Finally—_I'd made it to Master's cabin door.

Taking the time to compose myself, I leaned back against the cool durasteel wall. One hand held my heavy forehead, the other protected—what? An imaginary hurt? When I pulled the shaking hand from my midsection, I half expected to see it red with blood.

_No…the blade would have cauterized the wound immediately. Only a few drops would have seeped if anything at all. I've known this since initiate days._

_What? _Why was I even thinking these thoughts! _Come on, Kenobi! Snap out of it!_

The slight rustling of sheets in the room behind me caught and held my attention momentarily before I palmed the door open and ventured in. Suddenly, I missed the cool sensation that the durasteel wall had provided to my warm, sweat-slicked back.

_Qui-Gon…._

He lay tangled in his sheets, much as I had. Seeing him thrash about as the was, still caught in the throes of the nightmare and possibly seeing more than I had (if he just wasn't continuously reliving the dream like how Padmé had continuously watched Sio Bibble's message), struck a chord inside me. My rebelliousness fell away completely this time, dropping like leaves in the fall. I crumpled to my knees and took his hand in mine, placing the other atop that creased, proud sweaty brow that I knew all too well; I was sure I could state where each wrinkle appeared in each of my master's different emotional states—not that I thought anyone would be asking that question of me anytime soon…or ever.

I closed my eyes, sinking into myself to touch the Force. Simultaneously, waves of calm and sleep encouragement brushed over Qui-Gon like thousands of delicate feathers. I waited for the two to take effect, then delved even deeper. This time I slipped along our bond with the ease of 12 years of practice and sorted through Master's still-raging emotions. I would erase the memory of the dream and all the ill-effects of it; I wouldn't allow my master to suffer needlessly over me. Just as I was preparing to halt my healing caresses, however, I stumbled upon a well of emotions that had been harbored since—since the confrontation in the Council chamber. What I found there brought tears of guilt to my eyes. How could I have ever doubted Qui-Gon? Xanatos words had been just as unjustified in the Council room as they were 12 years ago. How could I have been so stupid? After 12 years of apprenticeship, how could I doubt my master's love for me? I had been too hurt by it at the time, but I knew now that Qui-Gon would never dismiss me in the way I imagined he had. My master cared for me deeply—he truly felt I was ready to face my Trials. It just so happened that that was the best time he thought to bring the subject up. Crazy 'ol fool….

Movement in the hand that held Master's brought me back to awareness of my surroundings. Force, my knees hurt…How long had I been kneeling? _Hours_, I guessed. The cabin's lights were intensifying, slowly but surely, signaling that it would be time to wake soon.

With my bare feet treading lightly, I left the cabin to its sleeping occupants and headed quickly through the hallways. I hadn't traveled far when an incessant tug of the Force shifted my direction to the bridge. Anakin was there, still huddled in his same corner, shivering due to the fact his blanket had slipped off at some point or another during the night. For a minute I considered walking away; one foot had already made it back out into the hall as a matter-of-fact. But I stopped, wondering miserably to myself. _Are you really that cold-hearted, Kenobi? Has Qui-Gon really been that lousy of a teacher? _A memory, perhaps of some similar moment in my own life, teetered at the edge of my consciousness. Somewhat hesitantly, I raised a hand and drew the Force around me, preparing to shift the misplaced blanket back onto the boy.

Anakin's eyes snapped open.

I hid my surprise well, resorting to a simple blink as I felt first one presence then another touch my mind. My hand faltered and shook, falling numbly to my side of its own accord as Anakin drew the blanket around himself. I saw his blue eyes shift and focus on something—some_one_—behind me. I didn't have to turn to know who it was—honestly I already knew—but I did anyway, the temptation proving to be too enticing. Qui-Gon stared back unblinking, his hair a disheveled mess. I blinked a second time and set my lips into a thin line, unsure of what to think.

_Bow, Stupid, and get out of there!_

Bowing rather stiff-like, I shifted to walk away. The slight touch of a hand on my Padawan braid stopped my escape; I hesitated. Our gazes met…and my callous reserve shattered entirely. I knew then that I would put an end to the rift between us if it was the last thing I did.

* * *

No sooner did the warning bell sound then the ship lurched out of hyperspace. I barely had the forewarning to grab hold of the bedpost beside me for leverage. Jono wasn't as lucky; when I stared down at him laying spread-eagled on the floor, he flashed me his trade-mark lop-sided grin that I'd come to appreciate so much. I helped him to his feet and we hurried towards the cockpit; Naboo was still a standard half-day's travel away if I wasn't wrong.

So why had we emerged from hyperspace so soon?

Half-way to the cockpit, we were intercepted by a royal guard. He came straight at me in urgency, for once not showing any of the trepidation I'd come to expect from most of the Naboo. We bowed, but he rose half-way through and caused me to look on in quiet curiousity. What had him so anxious?

"The Queen—"

_Ah._

"—has requested your presence in the throne room immediately."

I raised one eyebrow at this surprising news, especially when there was nothing else forthcoming. "Of course," was my automatic response as I watched a pilot bolt around the corner. He latched quickly onto Jono as soon as he spotted him and took off. Jono mouthed an apology and shrugged, just as confused as I was.

Waves of agitation rolled off the forgotten guard standing in front of me. "The throne room?" I asked, seeking confirmation more for his sake.

"Yes, yes, the throne room—_immediately_."

* * *

He was late.

Wasn't that odd?

Qui-Gon had always been the sort of person who liked being at _least_ an hour early for appointments. It was a fact that had always irked me. Although I was the type of person who appeared an hour _late_ for each appointment, so in actuality, we cancelled each other out and still managed to get everywhere—fairly—on time.

Yet here I was, in the throne room (having been there a decent five minutes or so already), sans a master and unsure of what was about to take place. Finally, with a flourish of his cloak and a sweeping bow, Qui-Gon strode into the crowded room where everyone else was awaiting his arrival. He turned back to me, almost as an afterthought in his rushed state, it seemed, and we nodded cordially to each other. Slowly, discreetly, I worked on patching my shields in his presence (for the time being until I decided on what to do), but gave in when I was only half-way finished. No use hiding what I was sure he had already seen. I put my game face on and settled my mind, resisting the urge to touch the bond between us that had flared to a hyper awareness compared to the quiet staleness that it had been before he walked in.

Queen Amidala allowed her eyes to rake along the crowd gathered, checking to see that everyone she had called for had made it. I was startled to find Jar Jar fidgeting in a corner behind me. It was somewhat amusing hearing him squirm back there; reminded me of my own first few encounters with royalty during a high importance level meeting.

The Queen's bright lips parted just enough for her to speak and pulled me back to the present without having Qui-Gon do the honors first. "When we land on Naboo," she began, "it is my intention to act on this invasion at once. My people have suffered enough."

Qui-Gon refused to react on the outside, but through our recently refueled bond I sensed curiousity. Beside him, Panaka practically had waves of irritation rolling off of him and pooling at his feet. He looked stubbornly at his Queen and set his jaw. "As soon as we land, the Federation will arrest you and force you to sign the treaty."

Master stood with his posture relaxed and hands by his sides. I didn't try probing the bond to see what he was feeling. I let it come to me naturally of its own free will. I would wait to see what he was going to say.

"I agree," Qui-Gon began serenely. "I'm not sure what you hope to accomplish by this."

Neither was I.

"I will take back what's ours." The Queen held a determined look on her face that I admired, especially for one as young as she. But if I hadn't known any better, I would have said she didn't give a flying Upani monkey about master's or Panaka's opinions. An itch in the back of my mind said what she was doing sounded familiar. But why—

_Ah, yes_, I thought, barely keeping the smile from my face. The Queen _must _have something else in mind if she was doing this. _Decide your course, stick with it, and tell the pessimistics _after_ it's too late to do anything about it. _The urge to smile hit me again. I knew exactly what the Queen was doing—I had done it myself enough times. Through our bond, I sensed Qui-Gon was beginning to follow the same train of thoughts. My master was a maverick in his own right—this sort of thinking came naturally to him. I realized idly that 12 years of apprenticeship to the man standing before me had probably molded me into much the same shape.

To Qui-Gon's left, Panaka was becoming rather bent _out _of shape… "There are too few of us, Your Highness. We have no army!" he reminded her unhappily.

The Queen dragged her deep brown eyes to my master. It almost seemed she was _enjoying_ doing this to the captain—and every other disbelieving soul in the room. How did her handmaidens keep a straight face throughout the entire discussion? _Much like the Jedi do_, I reasoned, then realized that that would be an interesting notion to bring up to Padmé. Speaking of which, where was the special handmaiden? I could sense her in the room, or at least nearby, but she was not one of the two handmaidens behind the Queen and I hadn't noticed her as being the one standing near the door. Yet the Queen had only chosen three to bring with her from Naboo. Padmé must have been behind me somewhere. A slight brush of my thoughts from Qui-Gon reminded me why I was here. Whatever Amidala had in mind, I decided, must be a good plan for her to look so non-chalant throughout this entire debate. Master, ever his calm self, faced the Queen down without hesitation. He seemed to think his words out carefully before he bothered to speak them, reminding her of our duty. "And I can only protect you. I can't fight a war for you."

_No, we most certainly cannot, though it would make things simpler._

I watched those brown eyes before me shift again, heading this time surprisingly in my direction. No, not at me; something behind me. She was thinking; she would give her plan away soon, that much I was willing to bet. I couldn't help but wonder, though, what grand miracle she had stumbled upon that gave her such hope, courage, and strength to return to her captured planet and the inevitable war that awaited us all. What miracle creature had she spoken with that set such determination and reassurance in her heart? _He must be great indeed, _I thought, _to influence a Queen._

"Jar Jar Binks!"

_What? No…._

"Mesa, Your Highness?"

_Please don't say it. Please, _oh please,_ don't say what I think you're going to. Please don't say—_

"Yes. I need your help."

_Sithspit!

* * *

_

Eep! I nearly forgot it was posting day! I'm currently posting a Lord of the Rings story of mine somewhere else and the two stories are on different schedules, so I forgot! Many apologies everyone! I realize most of you won't get the notification of this now until tomorrow morning/afternoon sometime.

Warning: Long authoress' notes ahead!

I just have to say this: thank you, thank you, thank you. _SIX_ reviews! I don't think I've _ever_ gotten so many before for an individual chapter on _any_ of my stories. It really means a lot to me to hear what ya'll have to say--and you were very vocal about the last entry, which is good! Because to hear what everyone thinks of the story and what they think/hope will happen in the next entry really gets me pumped up. I start thinking, "Man, I hope what I've written lives up to their expectations, but maybe if the upcoming entry doesn't, the one after itwill." So I go back to my rough drafts and start working diligently on the next entry. I try to think, what would Obi do that everyone would just _love_ to read, that they haven't already read? Late last night I finished up the hangar battle scene which puts us at (drum roll please): the Duel of the Fates! This is going to be the part where I really wrack my brain as I try to think up fresh ideas for ya'll that no one else has ever put down on pen and paper (or Microsoft Word, LOL).

koriaena and Christina B--Thanks for the feedback! Sometimes I find myself thinking FOR Obi-Wan so to speak and it's scary to realize that our reactions to many situations may be the same! O.o LOL It's good to know I'm keeping him in character.

Professor Authordude--Welcome to the band wagon! As far as the body language goes, I don't really think there was as much in the last entry as I thought. Ewan does seem to jerk back a little during the argument scene on the landing platform as they are waiting for the Queen. It's right between the sentences "The Council will decide Anakin's future." and "That should be enough for you," just like I said it was in the last entry. I own a horse and am thinking of studying Equine behavior; horses rely heavily on body language, so maybe I'm just picking up such slight nuances from the characters whose actions really can't be described, but the resulting emotions can be. This entry was, for the most part, made up, so I wouldn't say there's much body language that you can search for. In the next entries though, I'll be sure to mention any.

Katieelessar--I can't thank you enough for all of your kind words. You've stuck with me quite a while and you give lovely, detailed feedback (every writer's dream). I'm glad to hear I'm not disappointing you and hopefully you'll find that everything just keeps getting better.

Newbie--Hello there Newbie! Welcome! I want you to know that just because you told me to finish the story, I will do so. Sooner or later! LOL I do have all intentions of seeing this through to completion though, so have no fear. Please stick around for the rest of the ride--I love havin ya:-)

TempleMistress--Hi there! Wow, how lucky am I exactly? Three new reviewers! Ya'll are great, you really are. I hope this story doesn't spoil any of the JA books for you, but let me tell you: you are going to love every JA book and when you get to #18 and learn there aren't anymore, you are going to pitch a fit and scream like I did! Jude Watson shouldn't have stopped! I've read so many stories where Obi is the perfect Padawan with absolutely no complaints about it that I decided that just wasn't right. Obi is human, he's not perfect. (But he is a flirtatious hunk! ) I just wanted to portray him as being a bit more real. I'm glad you enjoyed the scene between Obi and Padme, too. That was actually a sort of spur-of-the-moment thing and so far I don't have anymore planned, but you never know what might happen after the duel. ;-) Thanks for stopping in to join the rest of us here!

Quick notes on this entry: According to novelizations, Ani and Padme didn't see each other between the return trip from Coruscant to Naboo. Well, I wanted to do things my way, so I decided they should have had contact, LOL. (Really the only reason I kept it the way I did is because by the time I learned that little fact, everything was typed and sounding "pretty okie-day". I just didn't want the hassle of changing it! ;-P) Also, I just had to find a purpose for that cool promo shot of Obi-Wan and Maul in the desert, so...I made up the dream. Foreshadowing is always fun, wouldn't you agree?

And last but not least, this entry gave me my first, really big chance to: 1)get inside Obi's head, and I mean _deep_ inside his head, 2) show that Qui-Gon really isn't as bad as some people made him out to be after TPM came out, and 3) show that maybe Anakin started to grow on Obi-Wan and affect him in more of a positive way afterall, despite what so many other fanfics have said over the years. I just can't believe Obi would dislike/hate Ani so much that he wouldn't even give him a chance until _after_ Qui's death. That's not how he was 'raised.'

As always,I thank every single one of you for taking the few moments that are required to leave a review. It means the world to me and encourages me to write quality stuff, not just crap. My reviewers are my foundation and I love you all. Sorry again for the long notes! See you next week!

A small tidbit for Entry XIII, "Apologies in Hands":

I resisted the natural urge to clear my throat. "Jar Jar is on his way to the Gungan city, Master."

"Good."

"_Good?" _

Did he not have anything else to say?

I needed to get Master talking. I needed to pull him from the slump that I felt he'd fallen into. "Do you think the Queen's idea will work?" I asked. That was innocent enough, wasn't it? It was a proper question shared between a Master/Padawan team.

Right?

"I've been thinking."

Those three words snapped my head up so sharply that for a moment I wondered if I'd given myself whiplash. Qui-Gon still didn't look at me.


	14. Entry XIII

This entry provided the chance to honor the journey taken thus far by Master and Padawan.

In other words, I am going to start setting everyone up for the "fall," so that you'll all cry your eyes out.

Lovely, yes? ;-)

--Marie K.

* * *

**Entry XIII**

"**Apologies in Hands"

* * *

**

She was crazy; she had to be. It was the only logical explanation. It must have been the white face paint she wore so lavishly. _It's seeped through her pores and poisoned her._

Queen Amidala had lost her mind.

She was relying on an undeveloped alliance between two races that skirted each other like the plague. And the worst thing was, she planned to gather _warriors_ from this alliance. Gungans? Warriors? The two words just didn't sound right side-by-side, or meters apart for that matter if Jar Jar was any indication of what their competence level was. Still, I knew the Queen wasn't stupid (I still believed she was crazy, though), so I figured she had to have more ideas and information than she let on. It _would_ be nice if she actually _told _the Jedi what was sifting through her mind. We _were_ supposed to protect her after all. It was the duty of a Jedi.

Jedi….

I'd been doing some thinking since the meeting with Amidala ended.

I was ready to end the petty feud that had grown into an obstructing wall between my master and me. No, not a wall; it was a chasm. I could still see him, I could still sense him; he'd just become impossible to reach.

And _that_ would never do when we were bound for war.

Venturing into battle while harboring those emotions was beyond foolish—it was downright idiotic. A shiver coursed sharply along my spine at the thought of my dream alone. Only…I wasn't sure what to say to Qui-Gon. Or perhaps even more important than that was _when _to say that something.

* * *

Naboo crewman were hustling past me, going both directions as I kept up a steady pace towards the cockpit. Things were beginning to get crazy on board. I wasn't even sure where Master was and at the moment didn't have time to go searching. The Queen had specifically asked for my help in assisting Ric and Panaka in the cockpit as we advanced towards the planet. Something about using my "Jedi gifts" to assess the situation. I hadn't bothered to tell her that from this distance in space, I wouldn't be able to decipher much.

Qui-Gon's cabin companions were waiting on me when I arrived. I gave them each a nod and settled myself between the two. I was interested to discover the planet and its immediate possession of space were already visible through the ship's wide viewscreen. While Ric focused on piloting, Panaka and I watched the computers. We drew closer and small oblong dots became vessels. Ric looked briefly at his console, barely taking the time to pry his eyes from the swiftly approaching planet.

"I have one battleship on my scope," he said quickly, strangely sounding both confident and confused at the same time. My mind worked quickly as I gave it a visual inspection, then checked the computer's readout for confirmation.

"It's a droid-control ship."

I'd studied documents on the Trade Federation en route to Naboo—on our _first_ go-around. One ship up alone in space may not have _seemed_ very threatening, but I knew from firsthand experience how many droids and droid carriers the control ships could hold. Chances were that other ships had dropped their droid cargo before fleeing from the scene. Who knew how many could be down there? For the umpteenth time since the meeting, I wondered if Queen Amidala hadn't perhaps lost her mind. How were the Naboo, a peace-loving people with alienated allies, supposed to pull off a victory against hundreds, maybe even thousands, of armed, heartless, no-questions-asked killers?

"They've probably spotted us."

Despite his brave face, I saw right through Panaka's mask. He was worried—deeply so. And with good reason. Part of me wondered if he felt the same way about his Queen at the moment as I did. But no, Panaka's mind was swarming with so many other things that a mad queen appeared to be the last of his worries.

_Does he have family on planet?_

For some reason, the thought had never occurred to me before now. Regardless, he was here to fight for his planet—naturally he would be apprehensive. And just as he was here to fight for his planet, I was here to fight as well—for peace and justice and the honor of the Order. _And perhaps,_ I thought without even truly considering the implications of it all, _I was here to fight for the honor of being called a Knight and being one step closer to becoming my master's equal._

I swallowed and set my jaw. I was ready; I just hoped everyone else felt the same. "We haven't much time."

Not much time at all. For anything.

Not even proper apologies.

* * *

Ric set a course for the swamps; we wanted to remain hidden as long as possible, yet still be able to locate the Gungans quickly. With a quirky half-grin, I was reminded of my own terrible landing on this planet just days ago. Strange—it seemed more like years. Without thought, my hand drifted to where my lightsaber hung on my belt; it wasn't until I realized I was lowering the power supply setting that I broke through the hazy fog of the past.

_Make a decision, make another. Remake a past, you cannot,_ as Yoda liked to say.

This weapon was my _life_, I knew that. To lose it would be like losing an arm, it had become part of me. The memory of building my "adult" saber six years ago was still fresh in my mind. My "teen" saber with its too small hilt sat under a protective casing in Qui-Gon's room back at the Temple.

Idly I looked down at my hands. There were calluses there, as well as scars and even a few scabs that would be gone within a day or two. Were these the hands of a Knight? I couldn't help but wonder over that question as I recalled the words spoken during the Council meeting.

"_Obi-Wan is ready."_

"_I am ready to face the Trials."_

But was I really? An unsettling feeling was sinking into my gut slowly. There was no time to dwell on it, however. The ship had landed and its occupants were filing out. Jar Jar would be headed to Otoh Gunga soon to begin his part in the forming of the alliance. I didn't know where Qui-Gon was, but I knew I needed to find him.

The time had come.

I knew, somehow, with that slight churning in my gut, that I would get no second chance this time.

* * *

_We leapt—high into the air to meet each other…I raised my blade, readying it for a downward swipe—

* * *

_

_No...!_

"No. I haven't seen him."

"Thank you."

I bowed slightly to the mechanic I had been talking with and exited the engine room. At least ten minutes had passed and I had yet to find Qui-Gon. A part of me knew it would be a simple task to reach through our open, yet silent bond, but another part of me knew that if I did that, I would leave myself vulnerable. As far as I knew, Master had no lingering effects or memories of the dream; I wanted to keep it that way.

Beginning to feel frustrated, I decided to try resort to plan B and search for the boy…_again_…for the _third_ time. Either Qui-Gon had taught him to shield or he already knew how. Anakin, as a living, breaking being, was nowhere to be found in the extensive regions that my mind scanned. I was just about to give up when something unexpected happened: I felt a brush on my mind and saw suddenly a blinding explosion of blue light. When both the light and the spots dancing before my mind had receded, I saw in my mind…myself. I saw myself exactly where I was, standing at the bottom of the ship's loading ramp. A fringed veil of black shadowed the scene temporarily like a blindfold put on and removed in the blink of an eye. Again the intense blue flashed, almost as though I was seeing from someone's eyes other than my own and now I found myself staring at a pair of strong shoulders, covered by a dark cloak and partly obscured by long, light brown hair. The feeling—_the presence_—touched my mind again and just like that I knew who it was. The realization sent me stumbling and it was all I could do to grab a support strut on the ship to keep from toppling over. The image in my mind shifted again and for the briefest of seconds I saw myself bent over, leaning against the strut. Just as quickly as it arrived, the touch and its effect were gone. I looked up, partially straightening, and just managed to catch a glimpse of bright blue and dull tan as it retreated into the vibrant green foliage.

Anakin had unknowingly been projecting again, and without realizing it, he had slipped stealthily past my shields. I couldn't stop the shiver that overtook my frame. That boy…How could he be so powerful in the Force when—

"Kenobi!"

"Yes, Captain Panaka?" I collected myself as the man bore down on me quickly. Worry laced his normally stoic expression and I could see in his eyes exactly how much the upcoming mission was getting to him.

"Go find Qui-Gon. Let him know Jar Jar is well on his way to their—" he waved his hand dramatically, "—city. I have to get back to the Queen. I'll join you in a few moments."

With a nod of comfirment, I dismissed him back to his pressing duties. Taking a step in the direction I'd see Qui-Gon in—that Anakin had seen him in—, I decided it was time I did the same.

Duty called.

* * *

It wasn't hard to find my master once I knew where to look. Best to approach this slowly, I thought. _Approach _him_ slowly? Or best to approach the _situation_ slowly?_

Ah, what was the difference, really?

Carefully, quietly, I lowered what few, thin shields I had erected around my mind. The act left me feeling cold and vulnerable, but I knew this was just the response of my mind, the insecure part that still tried hopelessly to hold onto every negative thing any creature had ever said or done to me. Wasn't it strange how living beings did that to themselves? Not even Jedi, try as we might, were above it.

"_So the perfect Padawan is a living, breathing creature after all. 'Human' as your race would put it..."_

_Oh, not now—Bant, you have the worst timing!

* * *

_

"_Obi-Wan, your _father_ just _died_. Doesn't that mean anything to you? Don't you feel any remorse? Any at all?"_

"_Bant, my 'father' is currently in the healer's ward, picking up medicine for me so I can get rid of this killer headache. Where's my comlink? He should pick up Mon Calamari repellant while he's at it. Hey! Let go of my wrist!"_

"_For being 21 you sure are a baby. No, at least babies cry. You on the other hand—He's your _father_, Obi-Wan. I cry my eyes out enough just watching sappy holo-vids. I can't imagine losing my parents. Look at me, you stubborn, uptight glaysher monkey! The man helped to bring you into the world, for Force sake! He _loved_ you."_

"_He tried to keep me from the Jedi."_

"_He _loved_ you!"_

"_He never approved of me coming to the Temple."_

"_Obi-Wan!"_

_A whisper. Barely audible. "I didn't want to be a farmer..."_

"_Obi—_"

_A sob as strong shoulders shook. "Owen said I looked like him."_

"_Obi-Wan, I didn't mean to—_"

_Tears. "I never got to say goodbye to Mom. Dad—Dad and I were angry at each other—_"

"_Oh, Obi, I'm so sorry." Ginger locks brushed aside. A whisper. "So the perfect Padawan is a living, breathing creature after all. 'Human' as your race would put it. I was beginning to wonder...

* * *

_

_Bant..._

Force, what was wrong with me? I'd been a walking bundle of emotions since the whole Force-forsaken mission had started. Where was my Jedi calm?

"_Don't center on your anxieties..."_

"_We are living beings, not machines."_

"_What beings say and what they feel are not necessarily the same. Jedi are different that way."_

Yes, Master. We are different.

But perhaps not always to the degree that we would like….

* * *

He was standing with his left shoulder towards me, hands on his hips. _Slowly, approach the whole situation slowly..._I tucked my hands into the wide sleeves of my cloak, drawing strength and reserve from the familiar gesture. Had I stopped to think about it (as I did later), I would have realized that the slight trace of amusement I suddenly sensed through the bond was Qui-Gon noticing how he had rubbed off on me.

I resisted the natural urge to clear my throat. "Jar Jar is on his way to the Gungan city, Master." I don't think I could have felt more sheepish at that moment if I had wanted to.

"Good."

"_Good?" _

Did he not have anything else to say?

I needed to get Master talking. I needed to pull him from the slump that I felt he'd fallen into. "Do you think the Queen's idea will work?" I asked. That was innocent enough, wasn't it? It was a proper question shared between a Master/Padawan team.

Right?

"I've been thinking."

Those three words snapped my head up so sharply that for a moment I wondered if I'd given myself whiplash. Qui-Gon still didn't look at me as he continued, but I was happy enough just to be speaking civilly with him.

"We are treading on dangerous ground. If the Queen intends to fight a war, we cannot become involved. Not even in her efforts to persuade the Gungans to join with the Naboo against the Federation, if that is what she intends by coming here." He paused and looked me seriously in the eye. "The Gungans will not be easily swayed. And we cannot use our power to help her. The Jedi have no authority to take sides."

I already knew all of these things. I just thought I should remind Qui-Gon of the one detail he had forgotten to mention. "But we do have authority to protect the Queen."

I watched my teacher gaze at me for a long time. Finally, he sighed. "It is a fine line we walk, then."

There was more to those words than what was readily visible on the surface. We both knew it. This was an opening I'd be foolish not to take.

"Master," I said, speaking the title with all the love, admiration, and respect that I always had. "I behaved badly on Coruscant; and I am embarrassed. I meant no disrespect to you. It is not my place to disagree with you; I do not wish to be difficult in the matter of the boy."

"Nor have you been," he quickly reassured me. His words were comforting to hear. "You have been honest with me. Honesty is never wrong."

Quickly I bowed my head, already feeling my face flush red. "I _am_ grateful that you think I am ready to face the Trials."

"I did not lie when I told the Council you were ready. You are. I have taught you all I can." I could hear the traces of a soft smile in his voice; wistful pride coursed slowly through the open bond. "You have been a good apprentice."

"_He is an apt student."_

"You are much wiser than I am, Obi-Wan."

"_Our work is well begun, my Padawan. And though we are beyond the beginning of our journey, we are not quite at the end."_

"_I know. I still have much to learn."_

"_Yet you have already grown so much."_

"I foresee you will become a great Jedi, my young Padawan."

"_Then you'll take me back?"_

"_We will take each other back. You will make a fine Jedi Knight. I would be proud to continue the journey we started together."_

It felt like I the weight of the entire galaxy had just been lifted off my shoulders. I didn't have to see my face to know it was glowing. I was quick to give credit where it was due. "If I do," I replied to my master's (most likely) biased foresight, "it will be because of what you have taught me."

"You will make me proud." _You already have_, his eyes said. Qui-Gon grabbed my hand in a quick action, as though if he didn't do it at that moment, there would be no other time for when it felt right. I looked at our two tanned and weathered hands, one a master's, one an apprentice's, and I was struck by pure, shocked amazement.

There was no difference.

* * *

"_Who taught you to fight like that?"_

"_What do you mean?"_

"_Students in the Temple rarely attack so viciously. They learn to defend, to wear one another down. Yet you fought…like a very dangerous man."_

"_I wanted to end it quickly. The Force allowed it."_

"_I am not so sure."_

_Together, Qui-Gon Jinn and I fought side-by-side. The Force pulsed between us. We knew without speaking where the other would move, when the other would strike. When Qui-Gon moved forward, I sprang back to protect his flank. When I leapt to the right, Qui-Gon made sure I was covered from the left._

_I went for my lightsaber. Qui-Gon moved only a fraction of an instant later._

_Here was the moment. I only had to step forward to challenge Master. I only had to move one muscle for it to be taken as an offensive move. Then the battle would begin._

_Simultaneously, we both lowered our weapons. I handed my lightsaber to Qui-Gon. "You may go, Qui-Gon Jinn. But I will stay."_

"_Let's split up," Qui-Gon said grimly. "We're running out of time."_

_He reached into his cloak and brought out my lightsaber. He tossed it to me. "Here. I have a feeling you're going to need this."_

_My hand curled over the hilt of the saber. I lifted my chin. For the first time since Qui-Gon's arrival, I felt no shame._

_It didn't matter what Qui-Gon thought. I was still a Jedi._

_We moved at the same split second without exchanging a glance. Qui-Gon knew when and how I would strike. Now the two of us fought as one. Xanatos stood at the edge of the water behind him._

_Instead of attacking me, Balog aimed his fire at the sensory deprivation device. Qui-Gon ignored the ping of blaster fire around his head; he knew I would deflect it._

_I could see it in his eyes. He had never been happier to see me in his life. I quickly leapt into the fray, lightsaber swinging. "Where do you think Balog is?"_

"_I think we should go outside and spar. It has been too long since we did lightsaber training together."_

_My eyes locked on Qui-Gon's. I was challenging him to do something, to make the first move._

_Qui-Gon did. He brought his lightsaber down in a powerful strike—once, twice, three times. I was there to block each blow. My eyes never left Master's face._

_I think he suddenly realized that my saber skills had improved significantly. I was fighting like a Knight.

* * *

_

No difference.

_I raised my blade, readying it for a downward swipe…awakened by the imagined torture of a red blade sticking unceremoniously through my midsection—_

It was the strong, yet gentle squeeze of Qui-Gon's hand over my own that drew me back. When this mission was over, I would ask Master to meditate with me, to help me re-center my focus and myself. My connection to the unifying Force had been growing at an unprecedented pace, especially recently, and I wasn't sure Qui-Gon knew any better of what to do with it than I did. When this was all over with, I would ask my master to help me more with _his_ world, the living Force. These memories and visions were distracting me. I didn't need that. Not on high priority missions…not on any missions. I knew Master could sense my distress and the 'aftertaste' of memories relived, but for once he did not admonish me to keep my concentration on the present.

Cautiously, like a man hesitant to draw too close, Panaka sidled up beside us. I watched him unconsciously blow out a deep breath as a slight grin twitched on his lips. Had the tense atmosphere been so great between Master and I that it affected those around us? Our strangled holds on the Force had been so great that it was highly likely, and though he never said it aloud—just as the Queen and her handmaidens who stood watching us from behind didn't—I could still sense them all projecting one unifying thought in reference to my master and I:

_Good._

Yes, it was good now.

* * *

Jar Jar's return from the lake snatched everyone's attention off of Qui-Gon and myself. Confusion and bewilderment wafted off of the Gungan as he strolled quickly to us. "Desa nobody dare."

"_Nobody dare?"_

This time I stopped myself before I could twitch. Being stuck with us on this mission and now having to depend on him was one thing, but when had I started to _talk_ like Jar Jar!

_Nobody _there_, nobody _there_, nobody _there, there, thereBut if there was no one there, then—

"…Some kinda fight mesa tinks."

I felt what little relief that had been in the atmosphere suddenly crumble. I turned to Qui-Gon, having already felt the "wheels" in his mind start to turn. "Do you think they have been taken to camps?"

It would make sense. It was what had happened to the Naboo. Why would they be treated any differently?

_Because they have warriors,_ a voice whispered into my mind. No, not just any voice, _Qui-Gon's_ voice.

Panaka could not hear our silent trade of conversation. "More likely they were wiped out," he ventured and I could hear in his voice the "I-told-you-so" he had felt all along. The captain had never given approval of his Queen's plan.

"Mesa no tink so." Jar Jar pointed one still dripping finger at the captain, oblivious to the distaste the man was still shooting in his direction.

As usual, however, Master was on top of things. Obviously, he still placed high hopes in the warriors of Boss Nass. "Do you know where they are, Jar Jar?" he questioned, letting courage float along his words with hope that it would convince the clumsy creature standing before us to continue speaking all that he knew.

The Gungan turned to Qui-Gon, the one he owed his great life debt to. "When in trouble, Gungans go to sacred place. Mesa show you. Come on! Mesa show you!" In his eyes I saw fear as he gave away his people's most-prized secret; but there was also a deep sense of determination to be found there—determination that rose from stubbornness, and instantly I saw something other than "another pathetic life form" standing before us. I saw a creature that had taken the strength and encouragement from a willing, kind, understanding soul and turned it into their own.

"_Wars not make one great."_

How many times had Master Yoda and even my own master told me this? Only now, hidden in the swaps of an imprisoned planet with a ragtag assortment of characters did I understand. Qui-Gon was not the successful, respected Jedi—no, _man_—that he was today because of the battles he had endured through and conquered. Qui-Gon was _great_ because of _who_ he _was_, on the _inside._

That notion gave me something to strive for in the future, something perhaps even greater than my commitment to and the demands of the Jedi Order.

* * *

As we began our trek through the swamps following Jar Jar to his people's sacred land, I felt the forgotten churning of my stomach suddenly erupt into mad, half-crazed flutter flies. No one knew what was to come, but I decided not to worry. All was well between Qui-Gon and myself.

I looked briefly down at my hands, then to Qui-Gon's.

There was no difference.

Master felt my gaze and turned with a smile, his presence filling my mind with the warm touch that was him, that always _had_ been him. That always _would_ be him, even when we fought side-by-side as more than just student and teacher, but as equals, partners, and friends: Jedi Master and Jedi Knight, Jinn and Kenobi.

No difference.

* * *

Whew! I'm exhausted! My mom ordered a new bedroom set for me a few weeks and we received word Thursday afternoon that it was coming in FRIDAY. Thus began the adventure of completely emptying out my room, painting everything, and cleaning the carpet. Luckily the delivery was set back to Monday. We finally finished everything around 6 this afternoon but man, am I tired! Anywho, due to that (and the fact I start my first semester of college tomorrow O.O), the writing of the Duel of the Fates entry has been pushed back a bit. I don't think it will be that much of a setback, but I'll keep everyone informed.

TempleMistress--I'm so pleased to hear that you're enjoying the story the way you are. I really hope this story doesn't spoil the JA series for you. If anything, maybe it will make the books more interesting. I've always thought that you have to feel sorry for Obi-Wan, no matter who you are or what you think of him. The poor guy lost his "father" and then basically became a father in the same day! That's hard on anyone. And the _nude_ part...I plead the fifth, LOL.

koriaena--Lucas really should have included some form of interaction between Ani and Obi. Now that you mention it, I realize that that _was_ basically the only thing they said to each other: their names! What a way to get to know each other! hehe

Professor Authordude--Yes, Obi does seem to have a lack of self-confidence--he was like that even during his initiate days--but it just goes to show that he is indeed human and not 'perfect'. Now if only he could figure that out for himself:-)

Vespa--I agree with you about Qui-Gon's cold shoulder. So many authors have written about it, but they've never given him a good reason. I thought I should finally fix that. I hope you're enjoying my "certain point-of-view" so far.

Katieelessar--I hate it when Qui and Obi fight, too. But this entry set everything right! I just couldn't let them get any further without fixing things. They have an important adventure coming up, after all. This is another of my favorite entries, just because I was able to get so deep inside Obi's head and their relationship again. If those two were real people, I would have to be a fly on the wall. (Or a pesky reporter, hehe.) They have such a great connection!

Im Just Lurking--Hello again! Wow, you have a lot of will power--there's no way I could skim a story without reading all of it! Hopefully I won't keep you waiting too much longer to read all of it.

Notes for this entry: As I'm sure all of you noticed, all of the JA quotes were changed from 3rd person point-of-view to 1st to better flow with the story. I hope everyone was satisfied with my little editing. (Not sure if Jude Watson would be, LOL.) This chapter had a grand effect on me as I wrote the calming of tensions between Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan and I hope you as the reader felt the same.

Oh, and BTW, the scene with Bant and Obi was made up but it's also a sort of shameless plug for my Kenobi Family Album story "He's My Son." If you are interested, go give it a read. It's not very long. Until next week, MTFBWY!

* * *

Small snapshot for Entry XIV, "Smart-Mouthed and Block-Headed":

"Ah, da Naboo. Yousa bringen da Mackineeks. Yousa all bombad."

"_Mackineeks?" "Bombad?" _Was that some kind of trendy Gungan speak?

_Obi-Wan—_

_Yes, Master._

A sigh, half-amused, half-irritated, or perhaps weary drifted lightly to me. _Sometimes I wonder about your true age, Padawan._

_Yes, Master._

Despite Boss Nass's harsh words, Queen Amidala seemed unperturbed. "We have searched you out because we wish to form an alliance," she said calmly, never turning from the head Gungan. Until—

"Your Honor."

_Padmé? _


	15. Entry XIV

My deepest and most sincere apologies to everyone who has been waiting on this next entry. RL has been a royal pain in the rear. As always, more author notes at the bottom.

--Marie K.

**

* * *

Entry XIV**

"**Smart-Mouthed & Block-Headed"

* * *

**

Amazement rolled off Anakin with the ferocity of—

Well, I couldn't think of anything at the moment that would fit the comparison, but it was overpowering at best. In the beginning I'd been content to toss my eyes, but gradually, as time wore on, I found a smile attempting to slip onto my face.

That _would never do,_ I decided. I didn't want Qui-Gon thinking I'd gone _soft_ or anything. Even still, I'd catch him trading glances between Anakin and myself from time to time, the barest traces of a self-assured grin touching his lips. Something about Jar Jar's recent courage and my few encounters with the boy on the return journey here had caused a long-held belief of mine to be shaken: maybe I was judging others too soon . I hadn't always been inclined to label every novel being that we came across as being "pathetic." I wasn't sure when this transformation came about; perhaps it was just in the past few years as my connection to the unifying Force grew and my link to the living Force fell to the very back of my thoughts. Regardless, during our walk through the Naboo swamps, I decided it wouldn't hurt to start being more…_civil_ to those we came across.

_You're a smart lad, Padawan._

_Master—!_

Chuckling erupted from his side of the bond and flustered embarrassment burned from mine. I hadn't realized I'd been broadcasting; I'd been too deep in my thoughts to think to check the holes in my shields. When Anakin glanced over his shoulder and gave a slight smile in my direction I felt my face heat physically instead of just the mental sensation this time. It was possible Anakin hadn't heard me, but I was embarrassed nonetheless.

Jar Jar led us with surprising speed through the rich, moist undergrowth. Time was greatly of the essence and I was pleased to find that he had most likely taken this into account. We skirted large puddles of standing water and slipped under curtains of moss. More than once I found myself swatting at bugs that swarmed around the exposed flesh of my neck. Obviously, by the sounds of hands slapping skin coming from all around me, I wasn't the only one having difficulties. Each time before Anakin slapped at his neck, he leaped nearly two feet into the air, a comical sight to be sure. Jar Jar appeared to be the only one unaffected. (And Master, of course, but I have a sneaky suspicion he was somehow cheating.) When I looked behind me to where the Queen walked, I noticed that she was having the greatest difficulty: the bugs loved her make-up and whatever sweet smelling mist she sprayed in her hair. At least the women finally decided to dress practically. If the Queen and her handmaidens had arrived in another set of elaborate dresses and robes, I may very well have made them wear my extra change of clothing. Well now, wouldn't _that_ be interesting—

_Padawan._

I sent Master the most innocent expression I could muster through our bond. I don't think he bought it, however. My actual physical expression was just a trifle too devilish.

_Look Obi-Wan, we've arrived._

Peering around Qui-Gon's shoulder, I just heard Jar Jar proclaim "Dissen it" before I caught sight of where we'd stopped. There were patches of moss, stands of trees, and…a giant wall to get through. Instinctively I moved for my weapon, thinking that we might have to hack through, but by Qui-Gon's prodding, stayed my hand. The Gungan lifted that oddly-shaped face of his and…_chittered._

_Well this is exciting…and very beneficial to our cause, may I add._

_Obi-Wan—_

_I apologize, my master. I meant no harm—_

_Obi-Wan, _listen

Wisely I shut up and turned my attention outward. By the time Captain Tarpals and his troops appeared to us on kaadu, Master and I had already been aware of them for quite a few tense moments. They jabbed electropoles at us in warning and those nearest to them shirked away in fright. Instinctively, the Naboo drifted to each other, forming clusters of refugees whose rapidly pounding hearts rent through the Force like a vibroshiv. People feared what they did not know. How many times had I seen this since beginning my apprenticeship with Qui-Gon? The Naboo, under the glaring stares of the Gungan warriors, were the perfect examples of this. I did not even have to touch Qui-Gon's mind to know he felt the same.

This may very well be harder than we'd first imagined.

Words were traded brusquely between Jar Jar and Captain Tarpals. In another moment we were herded off in the direction the warriors had only just come from. For a moment Qui-Gon lagged behind. "Master?" I queried, and he abruptly returned to our chosen path. I traced where his gaze had rested…and found Queen Amidala deep in a private conversation with Padmé.

* * *

Swiftly, yet calm to the point that it seemed we were all out for a leisurely stroll, Tarpals and his troops led us further into the swamps. The bugs were just as bad _here_ as they had been everywhere else. How did the Gungans ignore them so well?

Day turned to night as the trees and foliage grew so thick that they nearly block out all light. Slowly but surely I began to notice a difference in the land. Small pebbles turned to chunks of rocks. These chunks became boulders and eventually the boulders transformed into forgotten statues. They appeared to be of heads mostly, and I couldn't help but get the feeling that this had at one time been a sacred place for the Naboo as well: the heads were humanoid it seemed, and the further we delved, the more they appeared, half-buried and decorated with lavish dressings of vines and moss. They were everywhere to say the least.

No…_they_ were everywhere—

No sooner had we broken through a high wall of grass than I found multiple pairs of eyes staring back at me; young Gungans raced beside us.

We had reached the Gungans' safe spot, their haven.

Abiding my Jedi training, I kept my eyes riveted ahead of myself, just as I knew Qui-Gon to be doing beside me, and even though we appeared oblivious to all else we couldn't have been more aware. Of course, the most persistent thing hazing over my mind at that moment was Anakin's bubbly excitement. And the bugs.

Still atop his kaadu, Captain Tarpals announced Queen Amidala to Boss Nass and his retinue of advisors that rested nearby. The Queen stepped around my master and I to join Jar Jar at the head of our company. Her handmaidens stayed surprisingly out of the way, just behind Qui-Gon and me. Their jumpy behavior at the situation (both with the Gungans and with being left behind, I decided), drifted erratically along the currents of the Force. Strange—was the Queen emitting the same?

Jar Jar stumbled over a humiliating greeting just a few feet ahead of us. Whatever resolve and determination he had garnered from Master had obviously just deflated like a punctured oxygen bubble mask.

Boss Nass, his large hand and arm trembling, questioned who the banished Gungan had dragged to their secret place with him. Something inside my head prompted me to glance down: Anakin stood before me, beside Qui-Gon; he had taken advantage of where my Padawan status placed me in concern to Master and sought out the comfort of physical closeness. Trepidation clouded his Force presence and I frowned somewhat. The boy had already let emotions like fear take control of him. Even if the Council did grant permission to train him, the fear would be a hard problem to work through.

Feeling comfortable with our current situation (despite the fact we were surrounded on all sounds by irritated, electropole-weilding Gungans), I slipped my arms into my cloak sleeves and waited.

Gee, wasn't _that_ just my most favorite thing to do—

There was a slight tickling sensation along my scalp that drew my attention away. A bug must be crawling through my spikes like it was a forest or something. With great concentration, I was slowly able to tune the bug _out_, and the Queen _in. _I'd deal with it later.

"I'm Queen Amidala of the Naboo," the young monarch ahead of us began. "I come before you in peace."

The deep rumble in Boss Nass' voice told me his reply wouldn't be favorable even before he spoke.

"Ah, da Naboo. Yousa bringen da Mackineeks. Yousa all bombad."

"_Mackineeks?" "Bombad?" _Was that some kind of trendy Gungan speak?

_Obi-Wan—_

_Yes, Master._

A sigh, half-amused, half-irritated, or perhaps weary drifted lightly to me. _Sometimes I wonder about your true age, Padawan._

_Yes, Master._

Despite Boss Nass's harsh words, Queen Amidala seemed unperturbed. "We have searched you out because we wish to form an alliance," she said calmly, never turning from the head Gungan. Until—

"Your Honor."

_Padmé? _What in the galaxy was she doing? True, I had interrupted my master at certain times throughout my apprenticeship, but never, _never _under such extreme situations as this. She must be crazy! _It's the make-up, it's driving them all to insanity! Master? What is Padmé doing?_

_Hush, Obi-Wan. Be patient and listen._

Patient? Yes, patient. Patient was my middle name. _It must be Padmé's too,_ I thought sarcastically. _Crazy handmaiden..._

Boss Nass seemed to think much of the same. His already big cheeks puffed up even larger. He clicked his tongue in disapproval. "Whosa dis?"

"_I_ am Queen Amidala."

By the Force—what?

Padmé—the Queen—_whoever_, pointed to the white-faced royal—handmaiden—_whatever_! Girl number one indicated girl number two. _There, that works well. Why didn't I just do that from the beginning?_

"This is my decoy, my protection, my loyal bodyguard. I am sorry for my deception, but given the circumstances, I am sure you can understand."

Turning quickly, presumably to keep from losing the head Gungan's attention, Padmé—Amidala—_Padmé _Amidala looked to my master and me, her gaze resting finally on Anakin's rigid frame. The boy was obviously in a state of shock. "Gentlemen," she addressed us, "I apologize for misleading you."

I felt my eyes narrow somewhat. Yes, she had definitely mislead us. The deception did not cause me to be angry, rather it left me feeling foolish. How many times throughout this mission had I picked up on something unique and different about the Queen and her special handmaiden, or rather the Queen/handmaiden since really they were the same person.

Suddenly, the late night stroll I'd taken with the young girl standing before us seemed that much more interesting.

The soft, underlying scent of unchecked smugness seeped through my bond with Qui-Gon. "You knew," I accused, just barely loud enough for him to hear. Qui-Gon did nothing but peer at me through the corner of his eye, slipping in a nearly invisible grin that somehow transferred itself to my lips. Imagine, a 25 year-old senior Jedi Padawan learner had been bested by a 14 year-old Queen. Well, maybe not bested…maybe just fooled….

Qui-Gon may not have vocalized his opinion over the whole matter for everyone to hear, but R2-D2 sure did, though his whistle and chirp sounded more like a confirming affirmative than anything else. Great—even the _droid_ had known.

My attention returned to Padmé Amidala just as she did the most peculiar thing: she fell to her knees on the moist swamp floor and released a hoopla of mixed emotions from the nearby Naboo. I barely had time to clamp down on my exterior shields before their stunned bewilderment could leave me drowning in its wake. Wouldn't this be the hot news sensation of the week: "Deceptive Queen Bows to Obstinate Gungan."

I got the feeling this was a mission I wouldn't soon forget.

I wish I'd been wrong.

Slowly, one-by-one, the Naboo around us sank to the ground onto their knees. I hesitated, as did Anakin, when the thought that the Jedi kneeling might look like we had taken sides, but prodding by Qui-Gon lowered us both to the lush forest floor. The _real_ Queen offered us all up as "humble servants." Somehow, by the curt emotions tumbling from Panaka, I imagined the captain of the guard to be anything _but _humble at that precise moment. Or ever for that matter.

There was a moment of quiet, awkward stillness as the Naboo who had been left in the dark continued to absorb their Queen's identity and as the Gungans mulled over the new proposition.

_Master, how long?_ I asked, feeling but still choosing to ignore the tickling sensation that had suddenly intensified along my scalp. The only thing I received from the man beside me, however, was another smug smile in my mind. That sneaky old bloke. If I didn't know any better, I'd say he'd been aware of the whole switch before we even touched down on the planet.

Sudden laughter brought a deep frown to my face. The last time I'd heard Boss Nass laugh was just before he ordered Jar Jar to be "pune-ished." A shudder caught me and stuck between my shoulder blades without having meant it to. There were more Gungans in visible sight than the eye could count. Maybe Qui-Gon and I could get out of this if it came down to an escape, but what about the others? We couldn't protect everyone. Beside me, Master visibly tensed as he raised his chin. It was like he was testing the air and as soon as the emotion appeared, it vanished.

Something akin to joyful relief flowed down to me. Boss Nass was smiling—and sincerely at that! "Yousa no tinken yousa greater den da Gungans!"

Dead stillness as everyone held their breath. Padmé Amidala's already stiff back straightened further if it was at all possible. Boss Nass continued to laugh; then, surprising us all, he shrugged his massive shoulders and his face grew a large grin.

"Me-e-esa lika dis! Maybe…wesa…bein friends."

The tense atmosphere melted away like ice in fire. I slipped Qui-Gon a lop-sided grin; how funny that Master smiled back the same as I did.

Things appeared to be looking up. It was wonderful news, only—only that darn bug _bit_ me! _I can't take it anymore!_

Moving quickly I worked to squelch the irritating little life-form. _Blasted swamp! Blasted bug! Blasted _mission

"Obi-Wan?"

I stopped my ferocious scratching and looked up to see Qui-Gon staring down at me. I was the only one still kneeling; everyone else had already risen to their feet and dispersed. In the near distance Boss Nass was climbing down from the statue he'd been sitting on. Amidala waited at the bottom for him, Jar Jar, Panaka, her handmaidens, and even Anakin standing with her. Somewhere I heard Jono's excited voice as he spoke with his fellow Naboo. Tentative Gungan voices piped up, then grew louder until eventually the only thing to be heard was that of excited beings as they prepared for the struggle of reclaiming their planet.

Feeling Qui-Gon's eyes still on me, I rose as gracefully as I could. That little piece of Sithspit had gotten me good! Slowly, I looked Qui-Gon in the eye. "Yes, Master?" I asked. I watched as the corners of his mouth twitched violently. At least he was kind enough not to laugh in my face over the matter. Or so I thought. Hearty snickering turned into bellowing laughter as my teacher finally gave up the fight. "Nothing, my Obi-Wan," he said between breaths.

I glared the sharpest daggers I knew how with no effect except to make him laugh harder, until—

"Oh!" Qui-Gon's eyes went wide and he slapped at something near the back of his neck. Grinning feral-like I pushed his hair out of the way in time to see a disgruntled bug fly wobbily away from its attacker, woozy but nevertheless very much alive.

"Well, Master, what do you have to say for yourself now?" I queried, beginning to laugh.

"You are an evil apprentice," the older Jedi responded as matter-of-factly as he could, turning to head in the Queen's direction.

I barked a short laugh and started after him just as another fierce pinch seared my neck. Up ahead, Qui-Gon began laughing again, even though I hadn't uttered a sound.

"Smart-mouthed Padawan."

"Block-headed Master."

We stared each other down for a moment, our eyes and expressions hard. When Qui-Gon took a playful swipe at my head I shifted right, falling into him instead. A protective arm encircled my shoulders and I grinned up at my master.

We were father and son, friend and friend, partners and companions, student and teacher; One half of the other. I knew without words that nothing would ever separate us or the love and respect we held for each other. Time was irrelevant and precious all at the same time, but regardless, we were on this journey together, just as we had been for the past 12 years.

Side-by-side we took a step toward Padmé Amidala, Anakin Skywalker, and the determined beings who would save Naboo. Somehow, I knew this was the future laid out before my eyes, but I wouldn't worry, because we really were on this journey together.

From start to finish, past to present to future, it would be together.

* * *

"_And if darkness lies ahead of me, I will fight it."_

"_We will fight it together, Padawan."_

_

* * *

_

I want to apologize again to everyone for making ya'll wait on this entry. I hate making excuses, but I feel like I have to. Since I started school, my personal life has gone downhill, LOL. Talk about no free time whatsoever...! I _still_ have not had time to sit down and write the DotF entry (Entry XVII). I get a three day weekend starting tomorrow, so I'm keeping my fingers crossed that I'll be able to write it. Entry XV is currently in the process of being proofed. Entry XVI is written and waiting to be typed and proofed. I'd really like to keep my posting schedule the way it was, once a week, but until I get Entry XVII typed I'm really not sure how that is going to work. So, tohopefully keep everyone from fretting (and needlessly checking for a new entry), don't expect anything new until Sunday September 11th. That gives me roughly a week and a couple of days to finish XVII.

Thank you's go out to the **_SEVEN_** wonderful readers who reviewed!

TempleMistress--Continue the story into AotC and RotS? Oh dear...I don't think ya'll could put up with the wait that I would put ya'll through IF I wrote journals for the other two. LOL I _have_ given the idea of writing them about a second or two of thought in my mind, but that's basically it. It's easier for me to connect with the younger Obi for some reason. Probably because he's still a "student" and a "child" in TPM and in the other two he's like a parent. I don't have experience with those things. I'll give the other two movies some thought though and if I decide anything it will go up on my profile page first. One of these days I may actually try to finish The Kenobi Family Album. > 

Katieelessar--I'm going to do my best to not just write the action moves of the duel. I've read a few stories like that and while they are interesting, they get dull after a while. While I haven't started writing the entry yet, I've been wondering if I should write the entry all the way to Qui's death, no matter how long it turns out to be (I usually try to stick to a certain amount of pages for each entry), or if I should stop it at the point where Obi gets separated from Qui...Ya'll would probably kill me if I did that though! LOL College is...interesting so far. My favorite class? Volleyball:-P hehe

Professor Authordude--"Obi-Wanitis," huh? You know, I like that! I may have to start using it! (Including on myself at times! )

koriaena--I'm really not sure what Lucas was doing in the first movie except focusing on everyone else BUT Obi. Considering what a big character he is in ALL the movies, it seems like Ewan would have been allowed to flesh him out a bit more, but...guess not. Oh well. That's what fanfics are for!

Vespa--Thanks for the kind words! I love hearing that I'm on the right track with Obi's actions and thoughts. And yes, he definitely was the bigger man for apologizing first. (Especially when it wasn't his fault anyway!)

Anakin's-Angel359--Thanks for dropping a note! I hope you enjoyed this last entry!

Christina B--You aren't the only one dreading the end--I'm trying to figure out the best way to write it! LOL I've been mulling over where I should end the journal. If I stopped it where the introduction started, it would be a few days after Qui's death, but I'm tempted to show a bit of Obi's "new" life in the Temple. We'll have to wait and see...

Notes on this entry: This was another fun one to write, especially towards the end. My cousin was actually the first to point out Ewan scratching his head in this scene, way back in '99 and I specifically focus on it everytime I watch the movie! I figured I jsut had to add that in here for all of those who had never noticed it before. Hopefully you enjoyed the levity of the past couple of entries, because starting with the next one we're going to be getting pretty serious and gloomy. I wish I could change the ending, but we all know it's inevitable, so we'll just have to make the best of it. Until next time, MTFBWY!

--Marie K.

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Snippit from Entry XV, "Battle Plans and Preparations":

I looked around me at the many colorful speeders, all loaded to the brim with mix-matched oddballs; hope, despair, and anticipation dripped from them and pooled together, leaving something akin to an emotional river in our wake.

The sensation of eyes boring into my skull turned my attention a little closer to my presence. Jono was staring. After a moment he gave me a grim smile and thrust out his hand. "Luck," was all he said.

Like Garen, Jono didn't believe in goodbyes.

I shook my head, but took his hand anyway. "There's no such thing as luck." I shook his hand hard once, a grim frown painting my own lips.

Somehow, I knew that wouldn't be true. We would need every ounce of luck we could get.

All of us would.


	16. Entry XV, Part 1 of 3

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Entry XV

"**Battle Plans and Preparations"

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By the time Qui-Gon and I joined the Queen and Gungan leaders, Captain Panaka was already striding off with a few of his men. Amidala had sent him on a mission to learn what had been taking place on Naboo since their absence. Boss Nass gave orders to his generals who in turn passed the information on to their troops; Gungan sentries were assigned to various lookout stations; runners were sent out to collect even more who could still fight.

Amidst it all, during one unhurried moment of silence, a loud, angry stomach grumbled its dissatisfaction. For a moment I thought it was mine—I had just started on the road of adolescent growth spurts when Qui-Gon took me as his apprentice and it had been rather common for my empty stomach to make its presence known, even during the not-so-convenient times. Qui-Gon glanced at me quickly and I shook my head.

_It wasn't me._

So if it wasn't me, then that meant—

Anakin turned a deep shade of crimson as numerous pairs of eyes turned to peer in his direction. "Sorry?" he ventured, his grimy hands resting lightly on the fabric that covered his abdomen. Despite everything going on, Padmé Amidala smiled at the boy. She turned to Boss Nass and, seeing his own mirth, let her grin grow larger.

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A short time later found all of the Naboo party that was present to be well fed with content bellies. Qui-Gon and myself had only taken enough so as not to offend our "hosts." The food was a valuable resource that would have a better purpose serving those who really needed it. That was the Jedi way of handling such things.

Now knowing when we would get another chance to eat or rest after the planning ended, Master and I both downed the bland contents of two of the protein capsules hanging on our belts. I couldn't help grimace at the taste: no matter how many times I'd been forced to rely on them as my only source of nourishment over the years, I still hadn't gotten used to them. I was beginning to wonder if I ever would.

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Our group of rebels was moved from the swamps to the edge of the grassy plains where the Queen planned to hold her greatest attack. If I looked hard enough, I almost imagined I could see the gleaming rooftops of Theed in the distance.

For a long time my master and I did nothing but stand by the Queen as she mulled further over the plan she had started way back on Coruscant. The droid R2-D2, now proving to be one of Amidala's most trusted confidants, also rested nearby. I would not be surprised if the rest of Padmé Amidala's plan was contained in that little silver and blue dome.

I was surprised at how well Anakin did in the beginning, but eventually the waiting turned out to be too much for him. Qui-Gon gave him the errand of standing near the main Gungan lookout and relaying messages back and forth between the sentries and leaders. For a moment I imagined a touch of envy seeped from the back of my mind to the forefront: how many times when I had been his age, or even older, had I wished I could leave whatever dull scenarioI was involved in to go do something a bit more…_stimulating_? More than once, I knew that much for a fact. But as soon as the envy arrived it disappeared. Did it really matter? My greatest ambition, my most important dream in life had always been to be a Jedi. Standing next to Qui-Gon Jinn at that moment, immersed in the company of Naboo's leaders whom had been hostile enemies not too long ago, I sensed that the completion of that dream was just around the corner. It was a bittersweet realization, one that I'm not entirely sure I was prepared for, and had I known just _how_ close it was, I may—no, I _would have_ asked for time to rewind. I would have asked to go back in time, to be returned to the _Monument_, to Bandomeer, to Telos, Gala, Melida/Daan, or any of the other numerous places I'd been to during my life beside Master. Just so long as I didn't have to go _forward_, to the future, that damnable limbo I always seemed to be stuck in, because there was something deadly licking at my perceptions of the unifying Force that I didn't have the time or the skill to decipher at the moment.

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The sound of Anakin shouting as he ran towards us garnered everyone's attention. "They're here!" he exclaimed enthusiastically, and like a magnet was drawn to Qui-Gon's side. It didn't bother me like it would have a few days ago. Could it be I was maturing?

_Nah, not me._

In the distance, three older model land speeders came to a screeching halt; the sight of more Naboo approaching bolstered the hope of those who were nearby watching. A few pilots ran to the new arrivals to see what they could do; Panaka made his way over to us as quickly as he could through the rush of bodies. I did not see Jono among the retreating pilots.

Oddly enough, as Qui-Gon acknowledged Captain Panaka's presence, I discovered the boy had taken a place next to me. Without truly being aware of it I tightened my shields. During such a hostile time as this, I would not run the risk of having an errant, untrained Force-user cutting into my mind for a second time. Mimicking Master, my hands disappeared into the wide sleeves of my cloak and the game face was put into play.

It was time to take up the role of perfect Padawan again.

Could any less be expected of me?

No, never. I would follow my master's word until my dying day, or the end of the galaxy, whichever came first.

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_Oh, the irony...

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**To be continued in Part 2...**

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Wow...talk about short. You don't have to complain to me about it, because I hate this small part just as much as you do. But...here's the deal:

I still haven't had time to write Entry XVII. Entry XVI is now typed and proofed and ready to be posted, but because I only have two entries that can be posted and I don't see myself being able to write Entry XVII and have it ready for posting in three weeks time, I have decided to break the two entries that I do have ready into parts. These parts will still be posted once a week, ususally on Sundays. There will be a Sunday in two weeks time that I won't be able to post on (in that case, look for the next part to be posted Monday). I hate leaving everyone hanging, but I figured some of the story would be better than none at all. What I would really like is to be able to watch RotS again, because that is what convinced me to finish this story in the first place.

**To give me some ideas, let me know what you, the reader, would like to see/read in the Duel of the Fates entry. Also, tell me how far you would like me to carry the story. Currently I'm planning on taking it to Obi's return to the Jedi Temple and describing a bit of his new life.**

That's all for now. I apologize for the wait and for this new, aggravating way of posting the story, but I thought this was the best way to resolve the matter for the time being. Until next week, MTFBWY!

--Marie K.

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	17. Entry XV, Part 2 of 3

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Entry XV**

"**Battle Plans and Preparations"**

**_Part 2 of 3_**

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Panaka made haste in reassuring us that they had not been detected, or at least he didn't believe so. As it turned out, most of the Naboo were heaped together in detention camps. Most Gungans had slipped past the Federation's defenses; a decent number of Naboo guards and officers had managed to form an underground movement. Suddenly I found myself respecting the Naboo all the more: it had taken true courage to do what they did, and a few hundred extra capable troops were better than nothing at all. But would it be enough? We wouldn't know until the Queen informed us of her plan, and our worst fears were confirmed when Panaka explained that the Federation's army was much larger and stronger than first expected. Amidala and Boss Nass, however, had placed great faith in the Gungan army. Years of training taught me not to make visible contact with Master that might reflect doubt, but I still couldn't help feeling trepidation over the situation.

As usual, Panaka felt the same. He, however, did not hesitate to say so. The dark-skinned man shook his head gravely. "Your Highness, this is a battle I do not think we can win," he said, imploring his Queen to reconsider. But if I had learned only one thing about Padmé Amidala, it was that she could be just as obstinate as any being I had ever encountered.

The battle was not explicitly meant to be a success, she explained. It was a diversion.

_For what the Queen plans to accomplish._

_Yes, Padawan, exactly. She will not make our job easy, I am afraid._

Further explanation—with a little help from R2-D2, provided the necessary details: use the palace's secret passageways to get just outside the palace. Get to the main entrance and allow Panaka to provide a safe diversion, then enter the palace and capture the viceroy; without him the troops and lower-ranking Neimodians would be utterly helpless.

A decent plan not without its faults, but then again, no plan ever was. Only—

"What do you think, Master Jedi?"

Amidala turned to Master and I felt more than saw him straighten himself further, thus giving him a larger, more commanding stature. I'd seen him do this often in the past 12 years; deep inside, something was bothering him, but with his hands hidden in his cloak sleeves and his own steely calm game-face in place, Qui-Gon looked for all the world like worry was the last thing on his mind…or even like he didn't care at all. Beside me I felt Anakin stir, whether from boredom or excitement it was hard to tell. Regardless, his constant shift in attention from Qui-Gon and myself to the Queen was rather blatantly obvious. I was tempted to give him a nudge with my boot to redirect his attention, but the boy was not my responsibility; he was not expected to act as a Jedi student his age would. And I knew that before I could admonish someone _else_ for not paying attention, I had to be alert to the situation myself. So I listened…and I bit my tongue as an obedient Padawan should.

"The viceroy will be well guarded." Master spoke the words calmly and gently, but there was nothing calm nor gentle about the entire situation. Didn't they realize—

"The difficulty is getting into the throne room."

Well, yes, Panaka. But there was something even more vital than that. Had they not considered that—

"There is a possibility, with this diversion, many Gungans will be killed."

I let my eyes follow Qui-Gon's to stare into Boss Nass' bulbous face. The Gungans were ready to play their part, but that still did not cover the worry that had formed in my mind. Everything that had been said so far was wise and well thought out, but they were still missing one thing. I watched as Padmé Amidala nodded and opened her mouth to speak. Maybe the third time would be the charm; maybe they had figured out the most important thing.

"We will send what pilots we have to knock out the droid control ship orbiting the planet."

No! Important, yes, but not the most important. They still hadn't figured it out! Slowly, I could feel the perfect Padawan seep away and become replaced instead with Obi-Wan, the still headstrong and impatient pupil of Master Jinn.

The Queen found Master's eyes again, asking for opinions. Qui-Gon gave it without hesitation.

"A well-conceived plan," he praised, and truly it was. Most royalty I had met through the years would never have been able to concoct such a strategy by themselves. "However, there's great risk."

_Finally—a voice of reason! _Leave it to Master to know just what was on my mind.

"The weapons on your fighters may not penetrate the shields."

No—! Sithspit—! That wasn't it, either! Why hadn't anyone else thought of what I had?

"_A Jedi must be able to think on his or her feet. Do not let other's negativity pull you down. Believe in your ideas and follow through with them."_

"_Trust in your instincts."_

"_I value your thoughts, Obi-Wan. Learn to speak your mind. You are an adult now, not a child; beings are more likely to listen when you speak."_

Masters Yoda and Qui-Gon were right. After all, hadn't Qui-Gon been encouraging me to voice my opinion more frequently during the past few years? Especially recently? While I hadn't realized it at the time, I saw now that he was preparing me for my solo missions after my soon-to-be knighting.

If Master was placing that much trust in me to speak opinions that were reasonable and justifiable, then I would not let him down. Pouncing on the immediate silence after Qui-Gon spoke, I laid our biggest concern down on the table.

"There's an even bigger danger. If the viceroy escapes, Your Highness, he will return with another droid army. Whatever else happens, you must capture him."

Satisfaction and pride wafted through the Master/Padawan bond. Qui-Gon almost seemed to be teasing, "Took you long enough" and I realized he'd been waiting for me to speak up this entire time.

Across the dirty speeder nose, Padmé Amidala finally looked me in the eye.

On her face was the same expression she had given me when we talked that night on the ship, en route to Coruscant. I set my lips in a thin, straight line and watched as the Queen did the same.

"Indeed, we must," she concurred. "Cut off the head and the serpent dies. Without the viceroy, the Trade Federation collapses and _that_ is why we must not fail to get the viceroy. Everything depends on it."

_Indeed, Padmé Amidala...

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**_To be continued in Part 3..._**

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Apologies for posting this late. This week I am experiencing the wonders of my first midterms in college. 6.6 Keels over

Ahem..._anyway_...This chapter was a little boring as it was mostly the battle planning and no action. Sorry about that. There's nothing really new with the story news as far as I can recall, unless you want to count the fact that when I initially typed this story from the rough draft, I saved it to a disk and the disk ended up going corrupt on me. Luckily I had printed it out so I just retyped everything by using the printout. Unfortunately I lost a lot of work on my original story that I'm writing and I didn't have a printout for that. It depressed me for a day or so, but I always believe that things happen for a reason, so...

Thank you as always to **Katieelessar**! You're probably the most faithful reader and reveiwer that I've ever had for _any_ story, and I really appreciate it. Getting a review from you always brightens my day. :-) Desperation for Obi-Wan sounds good. I'll have to make sure to get nice and sulky before I write the DotF entry, lol.

Well hello, **Lindele**! You aren't the only one who gets choked up around the death scene. For a moment there after reading your review, I was very tempted to write Obi-Wan running faster. But I can't do that! Grr! I'll figure out something though that should make the chapter all worthwhile for everyone.

Hi there, **miss kilis wale**! Great minds think alike, don't they? LOL Now, if only Scholastic had figured that out. You know, considering how well the Jedi Apprentice series did, you'd think they would have issued an Obi-Wan journal. I'd be afraid to know how much they would want to edit my version, however, if they decided to ever use it. (Fat chance of that happening, but I can always dream... ) I'm not entirely sure what material from AotC and RotS you're talking about for Qui-Gon, but I'd love to know! It intrigues me and I'm sure it would add to the story, so fill me in:-)

That's all for now. Quick reminder that next week's part will be posted on a Monday because I will be out of town until late Sunday for a horse show. Everything should hopefully get back on track after that so that posts can once again resume on Sundays. Thanks everyone! MTFBWY,

---Marie K.

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	18. Entry XV, Part 3 of 3

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Entry XV**

"**Battle Plans and Preparations"**

**_Part3 of 3_**

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I suppose I didn't give the Gungans half the credit they deserved: within the time frame of a simple hour or so, a vast army of the swamp natives had gathered at the plain's edge and were awaiting instructions. It was with a barely restrained smile that Master and I learned of Jar Jar's promotion. There was no time to get him a warrior's uniform before the battle began, but he stuck out like a sore-thumb regardless. There was no doubt in my mind that his troops would not notice him. Captain Tarpals appeared to be instilling him with any last-minute information that he could, but I could quite literally see the advice passing through one twitching and agitated ear and out the other. Part of me disagreed with Boss Nass and his brilliant idea of putting the untrained, inexperienced "general" into battle so suddenly, but there was little that could be done about it. As Qui-Gon had said, we could only protect, not fight a war. As Jedi, we were bound by limitations. Imposing protection where it was not asked for was one of such limits.

Enough transports were finally rounded together to carry all those who needed to get to the palace. Somehow (I'm not really sure how it was made possible), Qui-Gon was able to squeeze his large frame into the Queen's packed speeder. With a pilot, Panaka, Padmé Amidala, her decoy, R2-D2, and my master, the four-person transport was…slightly overloaded to say the least. After a brief deliberation and a few complaints, Panaka and the pilot left to find another speeder car. Qui-Gon settled back on the seat with a relieved sigh and though our lips didn't show it, our eyes smiled for us at the absurdity of it all.

At that moment I felt something softly brush against me and looked down to find Anakin waiting patiently. Master straightened somewhat at the sight of the boy, almost as though he had forgotten Anakin was there.

_Padawan—_

_It's fine, Master._

_You're a good apprentice, Obi-Wan._

"Anakin, come here."

The boy was just squeezing onto the seat between the Queen and Master as I turned to find my own means of transport. Jono was at the edge of the pack, sitting precariously on the back of one particularly old-looking speeder.

"She's old, but she's steady," he said with a grin, having caught my unsure eye. He wiped one hand along the empty space beside him, doing little more than further smearing the dirt and rust that resided there. I took my seat, grabbed a handhold, and held on as we bounced across the plain towards the palace.

I wished I could have erased the memory of the dream from my mind as easily as I wiped it from Master's. Those Force-forsaken flutterflies seemed to grow angrier with each tense moment that passed. Because I was sitting backward on the rear of the speeder, I was able to watch the Gungans as they gathered en masse with their oblivious beasts of burden. The first of their troops were just disappearing into the swamp's foggy shroud as we dropped behind a steep hill. I looked around me at the many colorful speeders, all loaded to the brim with mix-matched oddballs; hope, despair, and anticipation dripped from them and pooled together, leaving something akin to an emotional river in our wake.

The sensation of eyes boring into my skull turned my attention a little closer to my presence. Jono was staring. After a moment he gave me a grim smile and thrust out his hand. "Luck," was all he said.

Like Garen, Jono didn't believe in goodbyes.

I shook my head, but took his hand anyway. "There's no such thing as luck." I shook his hand hard once, a grim frown painting my own lips.

Somehow, I knew that wouldn't be true. We would need every ounce of luck we could get.

All of us would.

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**_End Entry XV_**

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I apologize for the short entry. The upcoming parts will have action in them, so hopefully that will give everyone a good reason to review. See you next week!

--Marie K.

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